Those of you who have had the privilege of reading Fifty Shades of Grey will appreciate the context in which this review was written. For those of you who have not read the book, well, you’ll have to buy a copy to understand the inside joke.
Dated this day 28th day of October, 2011
P.A. LUPTON (reader, and fan, Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James)
ALL FANS OF EROTIC, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE
Readers can expect to find within the pages of this book a flawless rendering of the internal, psychological struggles of a novice submissive in a BDSM relationship. Anastasia Steele is an innocent to sexual relationships, let alone BDSM relationships. E L James captures perfectly her fears, confusions, insecurities, and internal conflicts as she deals with falling in first love with a man who epitomizes the meaning of dominant.
The reader shall discover within this novel two of the most well thought out and in depth characters. The hero Christian Grey admits that he is “Fifty shades of Fu*#&ed up,” which makes the reader want to delve in and learn about each of those fifty shades. The heroine Anastasia Steele is a study in contradictions: smart but naïve, innocent yet sensual, independent yet submissive, and these paradoxes keep the reader captivated and eager to learn more.
THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS
Upon signing this contract, you (the fan) agree to proceed to your nearest bookstore, or e-book retailer, and immediately purchase a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. I (PA Lupton) warrant that upon reading said copy a multitude of emotions will inevitably ensue. I further warrant that disappointment will not be one of the aforementioned emotions. Your signature on this contract further indicates your accord in following the rules set out in APPENDIX 1 to this agreement.
1. Please ensure that you have Kleenex prepared when you read this novel as build up of emotions will unavoidably lead to the inadvertent shedding of tears.
2. Make certain to schedule ample time for reading as once you begin you will be unable to put your book down. Be warned: If obligations force you to cease reading prior to completion, for long periods of time, it will inevitably lead to impatience and frustration.
3. IMPORTANT: Cold liquids, ice, cool cloths, or any cooling equipment such as central air or electric fans should be close at hand. Reading the romantic (i.e. sex) scenes in this book without these cooling devices will certainly lead to overheating.