Kerry's Reviews > Monogamy

Monogamy by Adam Phillips
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Apr 06, 12

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Read in March, 2012

This one wasn't what I was expecting. Now what that honestly was, I'm not really sure. Some insight on monogamy, why it's natural or not. I mean the jacket depiction lured me in with the statement of "Everyone knows people are capable of loving & desiring more than one person at a time. It may be reassuring, but it is in fact very demanding (and often cruel) to assume only one person can give us what we want." Ok Phillips.... you've got my attention. Which is the shortest thing about me.

What the book is thou seems to be short epithets of what monogamy may or may not be or mean. Most of these I flicked through without a second thought, though I'd like to share a few of ones that stuck out:

**"At it's best monogamy may be the wish to find someone to die with; at its worst it is a cure for the terrors of aliveness. They are easily confused"**

**"There is always someone who would love me more, understand me better, make me feel more sexually alive. This is the best justification we have for monogamy - and infidelity"**

**"We only really value a relationship when it survives our best attempts to destroy it. As every sado-masochist knows, nothing is more seductive than resilience. So the only way we can test our infidelity is through monogamy. A lot of confusion is created by our belief that it is the other way around"**

"Monogamy & infidelity: the difference between making a promise & being promising"

While I'll admit the book did provoke some intense thought from me, some painful, some reflective and lots introspective, I suppose I can't be too upset with the fact that it held no answers for me. In something as ever-evolving within ourselves and society, monogamy just doesn't have answer or definition, bc those are ever-changing and different for every individual person. Sigh. So I remain, as ever, still completely befuddled as to what my own definition of it is. Krammit. At least I get extra points for the use of the word "befuddled".
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Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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message 1: by Caitlin (new)

Caitlin Hmm, intriguing. Looking forward to your review on this one. How the heck did you ever find this book?


Kerry Caitlin wrote: "Hmm, intriguing. Looking forward to your review on this one. How the heck did you ever find this book?"

Somethings in life are an unrepealable don't ask don't tell policy sistah.


Kerry Caitlin wrote: "Hmm, intriguing. Looking forward to your review on this one. How the heck did you ever find this book?"

Who knows? Likely 'The Week' I'd bet... or some psych book. It seemed crazy and random, so right up my alley...


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