Anzu The Great Destroyer's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Jul 16, 12

bookshelves: dropped-in-the-toilet, the-hate-it-burns, buddy-or-group-read, fat-kitty-judges-you, dafuq-did-i-just-read, is-it-just-me-goddammit, whiny-bitches, kill-it-with-fire, reviewed-2011, stabby-stabby, lust-at-first-sight, mary-sue, lit-for-the-chicks, romance-contemp, well-arent-you-mister-popularity, facepalm, blame-the-darksiders
Recommended to Anzu by: Aly and Dee
Recommended for: people who are into torture, creeps and whiny bitches
Read from October 24 to 25, 2011, read count: 1

I didn’t want to start this book. Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica, it’s too cheap for me. But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf. Sounds pornographic, doesn’t it? That’s because it is…




Christian Grey. A hot dude that melts a woman’s panties off with just one look. The perfect sex toy set out to conquer an innocent girl. Grey (the sick f*ck) is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn’t get to me. His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy. Plus he’s just wrong in the head so there’s no need to add more about this creep.



Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon. She just wants to listen to her inner goddess (wtf?!) and have creepy monkey sex with Grey. She has no personality nor will whatsoever, she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic things you can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey (the sick f*ck) is, she still goes for it. She’s always mooning over Grey like he’s some kind of god that she’s supposed to worship. He tells her that he doesn’t want a serious relationship just sex and she’s still ok with it. Why? Just because he’s hot? He’s a damn disgusting pervert. He hurt her the first time they made love, she was a virgin for Christ’s sake (and I don’t buy the crap with it being perfect, surely she had vaginal cracks after that), and is treating her like a slave. Even though he’s a successful businessman and he’s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath. Just watch American Psycho and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Now to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book: THE CONTRACT. WTF may I ask? Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him? Is he a natural hazard or what? I get the whole Hey look at me I’m badass, I have my own company and helicopter gig ‘cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract??? Isn’t anyone getting angry with this?



I guess not...
“Why would I do that?”
“To please me”

Wtf?? All women want to please him? Why? ‘Cause he’s hot? He’s a perverted assh*le that’s what he is. He’s acting like he owns everyone! Aren’t you guys angry?


“I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn,”

Learn this! *kicks him in the groin* Creep!
“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”

Heh *right eye twitches* exert my will *eye twitches again*

Aren’t you guys angry with this yet??







Question for all the people who gave this book great scores. If Grey wasn’t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings? I doubt you would. So this means that the reason why you love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha? Shallow much? Or maybe you’re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture. Psycho much?

But who am I to judge.

This book is just a desperate woman’s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave. I’m sorry but it doesn’t work for me. I DNF’d this because I find it disgusting and degrading.

P.S. (I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it) MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL. So take a chill pill and GTFO.
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Reading Progress

10/24/2011
20.0% "Must keep calm... Breathe Anzu, breathe... Grey your end is near..." 40 comments
10/25/2011
24.0% "DNF - RCS" 6 comments

Comments (showing 1-50 of 524) (524 new)


message 1: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija YAY! Start this as soon as you finish SJ #3, k??


message 2: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I'll think about it :p


Aly is so frigging bored You have too :D and then we do your obsession :D


message 4: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Hmmmmm *sniff* my 3$ *sniff* lol ok ok after Jax I'll start this *rolls eyes*


Aly is so frigging bored Yeeey! It really is very good :X


message 6: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I'm worried about it...


Aly is so frigging bored Well, I worried too but you remember I was very enthusiast about it :D


message 8: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Yeah... :)))Good stuff :p


message 9: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija I LOVE the review, Anzu! It might just be my favorite of all your reviews I've read so far! And now I'm even more reluctant about reading this book again. I should probably just read a few more chapters out of principle and screw the rest...


Aly is so frigging bored I'm not talking to you guys! You suck :D


message 11: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija And you're a huge pervert. :P


Aly is so frigging bored I'm informed :))


message 13: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Whatever helps you sleep better at night. :P


message 14: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Thanks Dee :D I guess I've insulted half of Goodreads lol :D Felt gooooooooood!

And Aly I don't suck, I criticize :>


Aly is so frigging bored That's how we roll now? :))

And now i'll stop arguing with you uninformed plebeians :D The Queen is not amused :D


message 16: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Why yes, yes it is :>

The Queen is too perverted we should take you to a monastery and purify your perversion :p


Aly is so frigging bored *with stiff British accent* Do you really want to be beheaded young lady?


message 18: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija *copies the tone of the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland* Off with your head!


message 19: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer [image error]


message 20: by Madu (new)

Madu I really like your review=)))))))


Aly is so frigging bored Don't let it influence you!!!


message 22: by Madu (new)

Madu Since I'm not planning on reading the book, it can't influence me=))


Aly is so frigging bored Cool :D if you do read it remember: it is supposed to be erotica, BDSM erotica actually.


message 24: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Thank you Madu :D it's sick to the bone!


Aly is so frigging bored Dude you have no IDEA what she read in her time :))


message 26: by Madu (new)

Madu =)))))))
I can't read erotica anymore.....They bore me to death :))) It's the same thing in every single book


Aly is so frigging bored See, but this isn't the usual erotica ;;)


message 28: by Madu (new)

Madu Not interested =)))


message 29: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Good girl, Madu! And Aly, check the Q&A thread. :D


message 30: by Aly is so frigging bored (last edited Oct 30, 2011 01:56AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Aly is so frigging bored YOU ARE SO NOT FUN! :D Really love, why do you do this to me? :D

Dee I know the Q but I have no idea how to formulate my answer :D and what Q to ask :))


message 31: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer @Madu: I've also read some erotica and they were so damn cheesy and boring that I gave up the genre entirely. This being said, I feel you! And you really should avoid this book :D Aly is just in need or something that's why she loved it so much :p

@Aly: Stop being lazy and answer/ask the damn question!


message 32: by Alkyoni (new)

Alkyoni Anzu, respect. I bow to your review.


message 33: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Looooooooooool thanks Alkyoni :D


message 34: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Great review! Nice use of graphics and I love a great ranty rage. :D


message 35: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Thanks Karla :D It was a good way of calming down after such a horrible book O.o


Mariya You've expressed the book perfectly, Anzu. I have no idea why the hell there are such high ratings.


message 37: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Mariya I'm glad you agree with me :D I so hate (sorry Aly) people who gave it good ratings :)))


Aly is so frigging bored You love me anyway :))


message 39: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I do I do :>


MISS VAIN HAHAHAHA!!!!! I loved your review Anzu, I think you may just have inadvertently persuaded me to read this immediately! Lol:)


message 41: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer MV my point was to save you from burning your retinas :p


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Wow, wow, wow, what a review! Great, Anzu! I totally agree with you! Although I think they didn't make love when she lost her virginity. Grey just f***ed her. And no, I don't think that Grey is hot and an uber alpha either. *shudders*


Michelle [Helen Geek] Ditto Baba! Loved this!!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Michelle wrote: "Ditto Baba! Loved this!!"

Hi, Michelle! *waves frantically* LOL


message 45: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Baba wrote: "Wow, wow, wow, what a review! Great, Anzu! I totally agree with you! Although I think they didn't make love when she lost her virginity. Grey just f***ed her. And no, I don't think that Grey is hot..."

Thanks Baba and Michelle :D You're right, it was all abour f*cking and sick perverted stuff so I'm glad there are still sane people out there who agree with me! I can't believe this series reached book 3! O_O


Mariya Yes! Yes! AGree! Agree! ;)))


Katrina Passick Lumsden I absolutely love it when I find reviews like this because A; it keeps me from wasting my time on crap and B; I can always use a good laugh. Bravo!


message 48: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Thank you, thanks you very much *bows in gratitude*


message 49: by Mariela (new)

Mariela I loved your review!


Mrs.Vishous-Kattalakis-Belikov :::Para Itch Reviews::: 20 likes????Really??? I dont see the point....I loved it. Not because he's hot! It was a well written story that I greatly enjoyed. Im not a perv or desperate or any of the ridiculous things you've mentioned! Im just saying. I think to attack and ridicule one for their taste in books is disrespectful and for you guys to like this drivel are insane...thats my opinion:)


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