Duckie's Reviews > Wolfbreed

Wolfbreed by S.A. Swann
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Nov 26, 11

bookshelves: werewolves
Read from November 23 to 26, 2011

This had a lot of potential, but the weak writing got in the way of the story. There were way too many compound and run-on sentences during action scenes, which any Fiction 101 course will tell you slows the action down considerably. Shorter, simpler sentences are the rule here unless the author has an artistic reason for doing otherwise. Also, there were too many instances of unnecessary information being repeated. I think there was one paragraph where it's mentioned three times that Lilly is "naked" or "uncovered." Repeating that makes me think the author was getting more out of it than I was. Ditto for the repeated references to Lilly's regenerating hymen - it was at most an interesting factoid but not relevant to the story, and around the third time it was mentioned I started side-eyeing the author.
Two stars, because there was interesting story here and if there had been a little more focus on the actual mechanics of fiction-writing, I would have enjoyed reading it.
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Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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message 1: by Jack (new)

Jack I agree with your style comments - short sentences, easy words, and nix the repetition to keep the action going. And the author does sound a little creepy, or at least thinks this is the way to make a book interesting to readers (who may be creepy if this is successful). Thanks for the thoughtful, in depth review Jessie - I won't waste my time with this one.


Duckie Honestly, I think people who are less particular about writing style than I am and who don't mind a slower pace might enjoy this one. And including unnecessary information seems to be an issue common to authors with a STEM background - both Neal Stephenson and Naomi Novik are also guilty of this. I think it's because with science writing you have to be very explicit and very internally consistent, but when that's applied to fiction writing it tends to get a bit expository and dull. I did like that this was well researched, I think not enough authors pay close attention to that phase of the writing process. But fiction is about both what you say and the way you say it, and there just wasn't enough of the latter part here.


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