karen's Reviews > Teeth Are Not for Biting (Ages 0-3)

Teeth Are Not for Biting (Ages 0-3) by Elizabeth Verdick
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Oct 16, 11

bookshelves: titles-that-lie

this is such a lie!! this is precisely what teeth are for!!! lies!! liiieeeessss!!!

this book is also a lie and i can't believe greg keeps bringing these to me!!

Feet Are Not for Kicking

but this one - this one is the troof:

Diapers Are Not Forever

so we will let that one stay.
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 78) (78 new)


message 1: by Ronyell (new)

Ronyell LOL!!! What else are teeth used for?


message 2: by Becca (new)

Becca isn't biting a part of interpersonal childhood relations????


karen still is, for me.


message 4: by CRO (new)

CRO both of my children were biters until age 4 or so - made them real popular at preschool - I think this book - as well meaning as it intends to be - would have had zero impact - it might have made them a nice chew toy though.


message 5: by Aerin (new)

Aerin Feet are soooooooo for kicking!


karen this woman sounds bossy. i feel like writing and illustrating a series of these books giving her the what-for. fingers are for poking. fists are for shaking threateningly etc.


message 7: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice I agree with you about teeth. The author has a point about feet, though: they contain many delicate bones and break easily. It's much more effective to kick with shins, as they're tougher and do much more damage. Muay Thai 101!


karen when i write this series of books, may i use you as a consultant?


message 9: by Kate (new)

Kate Copeseeley hahaha is this the same lady that wrote "hands are not for hitting"? I say that to my 3 year old all the time. "Hands are not for hitting, they're for high-fives and hugs!" :) What they need to say is teeth are for food only.


message 10: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen she also wrote a book about will smith! teeth are not for biting will smith!


message 11: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice karen wrote: "when i write this series of books, may i use you as a consultant?"

:-) Of course!


message 12: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! But shins have no flesh padding! Doesn't it hurt more to strike with your bones?

Is there a twss in there?


message 13: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "But shins have no flesh padding! Doesn't it hurt more to strike with your bones?

Is there a twss in there?"


At first it hurts, but through training the shins become conditioned. It always hurts the person on the receiving end, though. Feet and hands are delicate and break easily. Shins, knees and elbows are much more effective weapons. Maybe the author of this series will write an unabridged version called Feet Are Not for Kicking: Use Shins and Knees Instead. Also, someone should suggest changing the name of Diapers Are Not Forever to Pants Are Not for Crapping. Isn't that a snappier title?


message 14: by Aerin (new)

Aerin How about Feet Are Not For Kicking Unless You Are Wearing Really Sturdy Shoes?


message 15: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen hahahaaha pants are not for crapping! you have just sold at least one copy, sir!


message 16: by Greg (new)

Greg Eh?Eh! wrote: "But shins have no flesh padding! Doesn't it hurt more to strike with your bones?

Is there a twss in there?"


You can roll bottles over your shins over and over again to kill the nerves, and using them to kick overtime helps toughen them up. Or so I've heard.


message 17: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Greg wrote: "Eh?Eh! wrote: "But shins have no flesh padding! Doesn't it hurt more to strike with your bones?

Is there a twss in there?"

You can roll bottles over your shins over and over again to kill the ne..."


Some folk use bottles and hard objects on their shins, Greg, but they often cause splints and do more harm than good. Kicking with shins does, as you say, thicken the bone. The golden rule that most Thai camps stick to when it comes to shin conditioning is: kick things slightly less dense than shin bone, for example heavy bags and Thai pads (and training partners!). That way, bones adapt without getting injured. Also, skipping barefoot increases bone density in shins.


message 18: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! I wish I knew all this in grade school when I was super into shin-kicking.


message 19: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen awww, you were a little pill!


message 20: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Hah, there was a brief period where I was into butt-kicking, but I stopped after that one time where I misjudged my angle of attack and accidentally got this one annoying boy's, er, boyparts. From behind. I hadn't known you could do that.


message 21: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen hahahahahahahhhaaa

i love you.


message 22: by Kinga (new)

Kinga This is my biggest problem with Muay Thai. I keep getting told off for kicking with my feet, rather than my shins.

And I am like: no, dude. That hurts. Thank you very much.


message 23: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Kinga wrote: "This is my biggest problem with Muay Thai. I keep getting told off for kicking with my feet, rather than my shins.

And I am like: no, dude. That hurts. Thank you very much."


Kinga, six months of good hard training and your shins would be like rocks.

Flying off on a tangent, does anyone have other suggestions for titles in this series? So far, we have Fingers Are for Poking, Fists Are for Shaking Threateningly, Pants Are Not for Crapping and Feet Are Not for Kicking (Unless You're Wearing Really Sturdy Shoes). Books I wish I'd read as a child: Gold-diggers Are Not for Marrying, Cars Are Not for Falling Asleep in While Driving and Sociopaths Are Not for Dating.


message 24: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen babies are not for shaking (unless you are an au pair)


message 25: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Definitely good advice (unless you are an au pair).

There's definite commercial potential in this collaborative series.


message 26: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Mr. Mark, I get the impression that all your book titles are coming from experience. The gold-diggers, the falling asleep in cars, the dating of sociopaths? I sense a deep well of pain you're drawing upon. I care. I care. What I would most like to know is...the story behind when you crapped your pants and learned they are not for crapping.


message 27: by karen (last edited Oct 18, 2011 10:32AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

karen the sidewalk is not for littering: seriously, what's so hard about keeping your shit in your pocket until you see a freaking trash can??


message 28: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "Mr. Mark, I get the impression that all your book titles are coming from experience. The gold-diggers, the falling asleep in cars, the dating of sociopaths? I sense a deep well of pain you're dra..."

Your comment has me in stitches laughing. Yes, my titles come from painful experience. Luckily, I've achieved a Zen state of being which has allowed me to let go of pain and focus on higher things such as drinking seven strong cafe mochas in an afternoon and then failing to find a toilet. So there's the answer to your pant-crapping question. I've a vague memory of being taught this lesson as a child, but perhaps everyone should be sent on a course once a decade just to confirm that pants are still not for crapping.


message 29: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Hah! Have you considered tea? Better for you and if you drink enough you could probably get the same amount of caffeine? Although, with all that volume of water you could then write the companion book Pants Are Also Not For Peeing.


message 30: by Miriam (new)

Miriam There are these leather padded wood boards (Mark, maybe you know the proper name) that are for punching and kicking to toughen your knuckles and shins and forearms. I never got to the point where it didn't hurt, though.


message 31: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "Hah! Have you considered tea? Better for you and if you drink enough you could probably get the same amount of caffeine? Although, with all that volume of water you could then write the companio..."

The list of things pants are not for is a long one. There's a potential goldmine in the Pants Are Not for...books. For teenagers, Pants Are Not for Throwing Onstage at Concerts. For perverts, Pants Are Not for Pulling Down (Without the Wearer's Consent). For feminists, Pants (and Bras) Are Not for Burning. The list goes on...

If only I'd thought of this five years ago, I wouldn't have spent that time crafting a 200,000-word epic of mythology and metal. I could have written a whole series of 500-word educational pants books and cashed in big time. Och well, hindsight is always 20/20!


message 32: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Och?? Mr. Mark, d'you ken the word "ken"?
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...


message 33: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "Och?? Mr. Mark, d'you ken the word "ken"?
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/..."


Aye, of course I ken the word 'ken'. And that review made me laugh a lot. There's no way I'll ever read the book, as it could never be as entertaining as the review.


message 34: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Miriam wrote: "There are these leather padded wood boards (Mark, maybe you know the proper name) that are for punching and kicking to toughen your knuckles and shins and forearms. I never got to the point where i..."

All I know of fighting, I learned from Jean Claude Van Damme. He never mentioned these things since he was too busy mooning the camera while doing the splits.


message 35: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "Miriam wrote: "There are these leather padded wood boards (Mark, maybe you know the proper name) that are for punching and kicking to toughen your knuckles and shins and forearms. I never got to th..."

JCVD knew well that the sight of his globular buttocks would distract opponents long enough for him to dispatch them with swift kicks to the gonads. A master of deception and bollock-smashing is the man from Belgium.

As for the wooden boards, I know the ones you're referring to, Miriam; they're used a lot in kung fu. Not sure of their Chinese name, as I've only ever heard them called boards. I do know that the lifesize wooden dummy used in kung fu is called a Mook Jong. It's from Mook Jong that the wooden-dummy character Mokujin (in the Tekken fighting games) got his name.


message 36: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! I trust no one, man or woman, who wore as much rouge as he did.


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Did you see the movie JCVD? That was awesome. He has feeeeelings!!!!


message 38: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Hahaha! Of course! I was so excited to see it! JCVD!!


message 39: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice JCVD kicks ass, literally and metaphorically. And that's not rouge: it's the Golden Glow, a state much sought after by martial artists. It occurs as a result of simultaneous Zen enlightenment and heavy-duty ball-booting.


message 40: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen you people are all so cute


message 41: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Yeah, we called them "boards," too. They sure beat doing knuckle push-ups in the parking lot.


message 42: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! karen wrote: "you people are all so cute"

What do you mean "you people"?!


message 43: by Mark (new)

Mark Rice Eh?Eh! wrote: "karen wrote: "you people are all so cute"

What do you mean "you people"?!"


In this case, I reckon "you people" means "you deranged lunatics".


message 44: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen youuuuuu peeeeeeople.


message 45: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Don't make me do knuckle push-ups on your face! I'm a deranged lunatic!


message 46: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen i will board you! with boards!


message 47: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! You're a Mook Jong!


message 48: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen fighting words!! pow pow pow!


message 49: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! I put on too much rouge and blast you with my Golden Glow! And then boot you in the balls!

(...I feel like I've crossed the line into rp)


message 50: by karen (new) - rated it 1 star

karen where's alfonso!!??


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