Natalieb's Reviews > Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
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May 14, 08

I went through a period of time where I read a million and one parenting books. This one came highly recommended from a good friend (and cousin). I found that it lacked practicality and weighed heavily on scare tactics (ie: you're going to permanently damage and ruin your child if you do X, Y, & Z, but then never gave examples of what you should do in these situations). And I had a hard time with the fact that it claimed you can only love your child unconditionally if you fit their mold.

On the flip side, I've never liked rewards and punishment methods of parenting/teaching because I want my children to want to be good for being-good sake, and not because they want a sticker or don't want to have to flip their card to *gasp* red.

In short, too many holes, not enough answers.
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Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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Karin a agree with your if only's. He should have given more examples just because the 'good job' parenting/teaching style has been so ingrained as a wonderful way to praise. Still gave him a 5 because of all his good stuff!

Hilary I agree! I think you have some good ideas, but HOW DO I APPLY THEM? And what do I do if the kinder, gentler approach doesn't work?

Karin Read Dr. Laura Markham's Book Peaceful Parents, Happy Children. She gives the examples we're looking for.

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