I never watched Tiny and Toya.
To be honest, I was a bit prejudiced. Comments or tabloid posts didn't necessarily sway me, but I was a bit tired of the reality shows that highlighted the almost-wives, wifey material, and opportunistic exes of celebs. That, and I've lost interest in most of what BET produces these days.

So, I just wasn't all that interested in seeing how life was like for the former singer/current fiance (at the time) of T.I., or the ex-wife of Lil Wayne. Neither life interested me in the least, and I just wasn't up to the real housewifey-ish drama.

I wonder if I had watched, would I be less inspired and profoundly touched by Ms. Carter's book. She had much, much more to say than what I expected to hear.

Antonia Carter may be known by some as the ex-wife of a famous rapper, but she's also a heroine. A survivor of family secrets, heartbreak and desperation. She's turned her life into something she can be proud of, and not only is it a story worth reading, but one worth sharing.

At a very young age, Toya was "collected" by an uncle and his wife who realized that drugs were keeping Toya's parents from actually taking care of her. She grew up longing for a relationship with her mother, and yet ashamed of her through the harsh words of neighbors and even some family. That embarrassment led to teenage rebellion, which also led to her being tossed from house to house within her family. Some aunts were too old to take care of an angry, disrespectful teen, while some cousins were simply uninterested. The few family members who wanted more for her, she rebelled even harder against.

Meanwhile, the place she would freely accept affection from, was boys. Their hugs and kisses made her feel worthwhile and acceptable. As Toya put it, she felt like if she was pretty and he was handsome, and they were popular all would be well. While she evaded actually going "too far" with most of the boys she dated, she finally fell head over heels in love with a boy she calls "Dream", who readers learn is her name for Wayne. Their romance was hot, heavy, and endearing but she makes reference to the fact that Dream was simply not ready for the family life she had in mind. Even less when she actually did become pregnant at age 14.

Through short vignettes into her life as a young and practically homeless mom to daughter Reginae, 18 year old wife of a young man whose career was taking him farther from the home she wanted so desperately to build, and overcoming her feelings of low self worth, Toya gives amazingly blunt and heartfelt advice. She discusses the relationship with her ex-husband, friends, and family members freely, with a tone of maturity and forgiveness.

Some of Toya's advice is said with an innocence that can be mistaken for naivete, but it is clear that she's nobody's fool anymore. The chapters cover everything from sex to faith, and she is careful to include every bit of herself that could be helpful to other girls and young women. Including her own daughter.

The book was published by Farrah Gray Publishing, which I feel could have done a much better job on the editing, as there were missing words and some minor misspellings. There were also some times where I couldn't figure out which aunt she was referring to, or what time period we had jumped into. Overall, it was a beautiful book that I will share with the young girls in my life.