"There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart's Desire."

So it begins. Fine. Yep. These are the stuff fairy tales are made from-blahblahblah. Sure thing. What else you got?

I really don’t get the point of this novella. I mean, yes, I see that there once was a man who made a journey to capture the uncapturable (a fallen star) for the woman that he loves. Wait. Does he really love her? Do I really care? I spent half the book thinking his name was Tristan not Tristran, so I guess the answer is no. Yes, he thinks she’s a hottie. Yes, he stalks her like a bedazzled Margaret Mary Ray rumbling around in Letterman’s bushes. Christ! He sits in trees and watches her undress. What of it? Where is the love? Has he sat down and had coffee with her? Does he know her favorite book? Whether she likes boxers or briefs? Seriously?

So, he leaves his boring town of Wall to enter Faerie and find this star who is actually a beautiful young woman.(YAWN) He meets colorful filler characters along the way…yadda yadda yadda. But wait, we have another story line going on about some princely brothers who want to take over their kingdom but have to find a topaz that their father threw out the window, towards that SAME fallen star, before he croaked. And wait, there’s ANOTHER story line where 3 old witch hags also want that fallen star because her heart will given them some much needed youth. SEE HOW THEY INTERCONNECT?

Good, because the rest of it is really just a ‘she did this, he did that, they fought, they died, they tricked, he smartens up..’ kind of story. I didn’t really know the characters, I really didn’t care who ended up with who. They all kind of irritated me. The action was pretty dull. What happened to EPIC? Not like ‘dude, that frat party was so epic…’ but like Princess-Bride-Epic or Long-Island-Lolita-Epic… C’mon, Gaiman..bring it on. I know you can do it.. People wouldn’t be so enamored of you if you couldn’t. Right?