Jarod Kintz's Reviews > I Want

I Want by Jarod Kintz
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Sep 16, 11

(Review from the author)


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Quotes Jarod Liked

Jarod Kintz
“I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write a poem about "Truth," "Honor," "Dignity," and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want certain conversations to come equipped with antilock brakes, especially if I'm talking to a real airbag.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I like to spoon after I fork.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to get the words "Courage" and "Bravery" tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write a book called, "Bonfires and Bras," which follows around a young, braless feminist who struggles to adopt in air conditioned rooms, as her hardened nipples cause her excess embarrassment.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want my words to illuminate like the sun, as I give my daily lecture on photosynthesis to my houseplants.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want

Jarod Kintz
“I wanted to write “I Want” because wanting is one of the things I want most in life.”
Jarod Kintz, I Want


Comments (showing 1-1 of 1) (1 new)

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message 1: by Amel (new)

Amel This is a something. Usually authors rate their works with 5 start, which is frankly annoying. For me, if I'm working on something [anything it could be] and if I'm to rate it I won't give it 5 stars, cause this means it's the best I could give which is always not true. But I won't give it a 1 either. Although I'm interested in why 1? I guess this 1 star is to be added to your sense of humor, a total joke of yours.


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