Isamlq's Reviews > But I Love Him

But I Love Him by Amanda Grace
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Oct 18, 11

Read from October 17 to 18, 2011

I'm trying not to judge them her. I'm trying my best not to be disappointed in her choices. And with BUT I LOVE HIM beginning as it did~ at their end, I did have to hold onto my judgments thoughts, and see what led them to where they were.

But having witnessed this reverse mix of start, end, and in between, I'm still not a hundred percent sure about what to think BUT I do know what I feel: pissed off, unsure about my disappointed then finally, relieved.

Pissed off at whom though? Because if we're talking blame, Connor is clearly not a good guy. Do I buy his sob story of 'because my history is a particular sort, then I'm bound to turn out a certain way?' I should... I really feel like I should. It's just that I AM NOT THAT FORGIVING. That I pity him cannot be denied. But that I was repulsed by what he could do; that I was angered by him cannot be denied either.

And a disappointment directed at whom precisely? Was it at Ann? I skirted a not so positive place of blaming her, the victim, a moment or two there. Because seeing where she was in the beginning of the book, and knowing what she was just tore at me! Or was it even at her people? While seeing her struggle through things all alone, I wondered where they were and how they could just let things be. BUT, slowly, as it was meant be a slow realization, their why's came clear across. I saw just how things came to be... 

What now? It's intense. It's emotional. All throughout, I struggled with a tendency to blame and be too quick to judge others *still struggling here!* It's not a story I enjoyed, but it's got me thinking and feeling intense things right now; mainly, it's got me thinking you can't help those who don't want the same. In this one, who needed help though? Connor? Ann? Or both?

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Danielle They both needed help. But you can never blame the victim. I don't care how long they stay they get manipulated psychologically by the abuser. It's kind of like the abuser is a disease and it blinds the abused. :( Not to mention they've been through quite enough without people telling them "well it was your own fault".


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