false 4 0 false false Tue Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2002 Wed Apr 23 15:08:05 -0700 2008 Wed Apr 23 15:31:19 -0700 2008 These revised versions of classic fairy tales, updated to "appeal" to the post-modern reader do an excellent job of *lambasting feminists, environmentalists, and other hyper-sensitive/easily-offended groups.

*Can I still use the word "lambasting" or do lambs find that offensive now?

Here's an excerpt from Little Red Riding Hood:

'The wolf said, "I am happy with who I am and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency toward crossdressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space.

Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopperperson (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his ax, Red Riding Hood and the wolf both stopped.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood.

The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.

"Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she exclaimed. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that womyn and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!" '
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