Demo's Reviews > Starcrossed

Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini
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** spoiler alert ** This thing made me want to spit nails. Or throw a car. Something violent.

Helen's the fastest, strongest, prettiest girl at her school. She's always been a bit different. Girls at school are jealous, boys drool over her, her dad's proud of her. Yeah. All that fancy chiz.

Oh, and she can fly and shoot lightning out of her hands sometimes. But that's normal, right?

Right.

Not like that's suspicious or anything, but her mother Beth left when Helen was little, erasing all evidence that she ever existed besides Jerry's memories and Helen's necklace. There are two reasons why she could have done this: She's an FBI Most Wanted, or she's some freakish succubus that didn't feel the need to kill Jerry.

'Course, neither of those options are right, but, good try, right?

Right.


Then we have Helen's best friend Claire. Giggles. The second musketeer in this... *counts on fingers* ... eight musketeer adventure! She's the funny, quirky, loving sister that we can all depend on to have our backs when we need it most.

Or can we?

Claire is so lovely and caring that she pushed Helen off the roof of her house. Last time I hung out with my friends, we were seeing who could do the best Russian accent and squirting each other with Silly String in busy intersections. Not PUSHING EACH OTHER OUT WINDOWS AND STABBING OURSELVES TO SEE IF WE BLEED! Seriously, this is actually what Claire did to Helen in the book.

Safety Tip #234: If your best friend tries consistently to kill you, it's probably not a very healthy relationship.


So maybe Helen doesn't have the best taste when choosing her friends, but come on. Claire only stabbed her to see if Helen would live or not. And she did! So that makes it okay, right?

Right.

Aside from Claire's path of carnage, there's also her other less-violent friends we have to worry about. Apparently Helen has quite a history with bad friendships! There's Gretchen. See, Gretchen was so loyal that, when Helen accidentally broke the bathroom door off it's hinges in 5th grade, she turned on her like the dark side of the moon and has held a grudge for... *counts off fingers again* ...six or seven years! We all need friends like that!

Best Friend 1: You lost my hamster!

Best Friend 2: I'm so so sorry! Your brother left the cage open and I swear I didn't know... Poor Snickers...

Best Friend: I HATE YOU! I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN! I'M GOING TO SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS FROM NOW AND DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO RUIN YOUR LIFE! SNICKERS WILL BE AVENGED!!!


Yep, that just screams sisterly love!

But not all of her friends are evil, maniacal, bloodthirsty fiends! I mean like, there's Matt! Matt is what we call a "stage prop." He's there to make Helen look good, like she has normal human friends apart from her world of scions, but really doesn't do anything. Unless Angelini is planning something big for him in the next few books, he is absolutely useless.

Then there's Zack. Or Zach. I forget and I'm not going to pick up that darned book again. I'll go with Zack because Zach makes me think of Zachary Moore and Zachary Moore is just too good to be put through that sort of thing....

Ahem. So, Zack, right. He's basically Helen's worst human enemy. Probably for no other reason than just because she's annoying, and if that's the case, I take his side. There's probably some long stupid story about their rivalry somewhere in the book, but if there was, it was too dumb and pointless to stick out in my memory. So in my mind, Zack is the only one that has the sense to slap Helen.

Why do characters with the name Zack always have to be so awesome? I mean like, there's Zachary from Shade, Zack from Bitter End, Zack from Starcrossed....


Moving on from pathetic relationships!

There are goddess-awful (heh heh, see what I did there? *smiles like a moron*) amounts of info-dumps in here, too. I'm someone who will openly say this: I don't get the whole Trojan War thing that much. I get some of the basics, but I don't know about all of the crap they're going on about in here. So when Ariadne has a four-page long explanation about Paris and Helen and the Wooden Horse and Troy and Wars and Aphrodite... Mind blown. Not in a good way. In a holy-crap-I-need-aspirin-for-my-headache way.

Ouch.

Needless to say we didn't study much Greek Mythology in school this year, so I don't understand a lot of what they're saying. I mean like, I'm not so lazy that I won't look up something I don't know anything about, but for this book, it doesn't seem worth it. If I read another book based on Greek Mythology that isn't terrible, we'll see.

I'm not asking for her to spell out everything---I know who Zeus and Hades and Aphrodite and Poseidon and Persephone are and all, but I just stare dumbstruck at the pages where they start talking about random events in Greek Mythology that I've never heard off. She could at least have the courtesy to fill me in a bit.

Stupid research. I'm going to be up all night on Google trying to sort out what the hades I just read. (sorry, couldn't resist.)

Then there was Daphne/Beth. I wanted to slap that bitch so hard it would make her head spin.

First of all, she disappears from her daughter's life. Then seventeen years later, she comes back, ties Helen up and drugs her, drags her away to a hotel, tells her she can never see her family or the Delos's ever again.

Second of all, she convinces Helen and the Delos family to trust her, then coaxes Creon into letting her go, and gets (view spoiler) killed in the process!

Then, to wrap it all up and put a bow on top, she lies to Lucas and Helen and tells them that they're first cousins so she can ruin their only chance at happiness! YAAAAAAY!

And Parenting Award of the Year goes to.... DAPHNE HAMILTON!!!!....or whatever her real last name is.... I'm too tired to remember and too stubborn to go check.

Honestly, though, how did that discourage them from being together? After all the crazy chiz going on with murders and hitlists and unreliable homicidal friends, Helen's worried about being frowned upon? Give me a break! It's not like they're siblings! No one gives a chiz if they're cousins! The Delos family is used to them being together, so they don't care! Jerry doesn't even know! Helen is the only one complaining!

Oh, and Helen complaining is not a fun thing to sit through. I swear if I have to read one more page of her catatonic nostalgia, I think I might just light the book on fire.


Time for s'mores, children!

Yum.

All in all, this book has totally discouraged me from reading books based off of Greek Mythology. I know they all can't be that annoying, but I just... *shudders*

But we all know that the first book is sometimes the hardest, because that's the one with all of the awkward introductions. The second's probably a lot better. I can pretend to be an optimist if I want to, right?

Right.
























Claire:
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Reading Progress

09/16/2011 page 5
1.0% "YESSS! Someone who understands the difficulties of being tall! I like Helen already."
09/17/2011 page 32
6.0% "Wait, why is she crying? Did she seriously just start bawling her eyes out because she was tired of people talking about the Delos family? Jeez, that's a stupid reason to get upset."
09/17/2011 page 44
9.0% "Um... Awkward. You don't give random strangers hugs. That's a good way to freak them out."
09/17/2011 page 45
9.0% "Oh... Jeez. Hugs would be a lot better than strangles."
09/17/2011 page 50
10.0% "From the way Helen is describing The Furies, they sound more like Onryōs than whatever it is she's calling them. I'm sure there are different forms of the same thing in mythologies, but the Japanese one is the only one I know of. Look up Kayako Saeki and tell me that's not exactly what Helen was describing!"
09/17/2011 page 96
19.0% "Yaaay for death matches!"
09/17/2011 page 108
21.0% "Whoa, whoa, whoa, What in God's name just happened? She got jumped, ran for her life, fell in the ocean, drowned, ended up in a desert with Lucas, came back to life, scared The Grudge Triplets away, and is now flying? Am I correct? WHAT THE HE!l IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!"
09/17/2011 page 114
22.0% "I keep mentally pronouncing Ariadne's name as Adrian or Adriana. Maybe I do have dyslexia..."
09/17/2011 page 157
31.0% "This book has a lot of Twilight traces in it. Not the plot---the plot is absolutely different. But there are lots of similarities in details. Since I'm a mega Twihard, I'm noticing a lot more of this stuff than others, I suppose. For instance---They have a Mercedes. So does Carlisle. Lucas's sister can see the future or something like that. They even have the same features!---pixie-like, lanky, bulky, gold eyes..."
09/17/2011 page 193
38.0% "Jeez, talk about info-dump. I couldn't follow most of that little speech. Greek Mythology confuses me to no end."
09/17/2011 page 251
49.0% "Helen needs to grow. up. Just because she hears in an eavesdropped conversation that Lukey isn't going to kiss her doesn't mean that World War 3 is starting, the world will explode, Hitler will rise from the dead, and zombies will open the gates to Hell and let loose the tortured souls among the unsuspecting villagers. No wonder men think women are complicated! She won't even tell him what's wrong!"
09/18/2011 page 282
55.0% "Still waiting for Helen to get her act together. Seriously, Bella Swan was not this bad. At least Bella lost her best friend, alternative family, boyfriend, and future before she broke down. Helen finds out that she can't kiss her cousin, and suddenly it's the bloody apocalypse. URGH!"
09/18/2011 page 382
74.0% "Well, that sucks."
09/22/2011 page 379
78.0% "This is depressing..."
09/22/2011 page 384
79.0% "ELOPE!!!!"
09/22/2011 page 406
83.0% "Lucas=Edward Ariadne=Alice Castor=Carlisle Aunt Pandora=Esme Jason=Jasper Hector=Mean version of Emmett Cassandra=Rosalie"
09/23/2011 page 470
97.0% "Who CARES if their first cousins? Really? With all the insane crap going on in their lives, their concerned about being nonconformists? Besides, they're not actually related, it's just a trick. So just GIVE IT UP!"
09/25/2011 page 471
97.0% "I will not survive the last few pages of this. Uggghhhhhhhh don't make me read it!"

Comments (showing 1-12 of 12) (12 new)

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message 1: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo I'm feeling extraordinarily viscous tonight at nothing in particular, so I'm taking it out on reviews. I'm also procrastinating so I don't have to do my real literature homework I have due tomorrow.


Shannon Ha ha, love this review! I hope the next book is a little better, cause I actually like these types of stories...just not the whole related lovers thing, thats a bit old...


Alice i loved this review, this is exactly how i felt about the book, i hated helen, she annoyed the crap out of me


Kitten Blue That Claire / Helen stabbing animation is brilliant!! :D Claire is totally nutso, yes, but don't forget that it was Gretchen trying to stab Helen with the scissors that got her started, because that's a totally appropriate way to react when someone accidently breaks your bathroom door ... o_o This book has to be the biggest load of crap I've ever read. Seriously.


message 5: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Bella (Absolutely Obsessed) wrote: "That Claire / Helen stabbing animation is brilliant!! :D Claire is totally nutso, yes, but don't forget that it was Gretchen trying to stab Helen with the scissors that got her started, because tha..."

Yeah, but I got so bored that I wasn't really paying attention anymore. But I did open my eyes when Claire was explaining her rather... violent attempts to debunk Helen's ability.

And yes. I love that picture. Mwahaha.


Colette Pauline Lov the photo of the Grimlan!


message 7: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Colette wrote: "Lov the photo of the Grimlan!"

I thought it was a Grimlan, too. Apparently it's a "Ferbie." My friend has one and pointed it out. *shrugs*


 Linda (Miss Greedybooks) Thank you - I enjoyed your review.

Safety Tip #234: If your best friend tries consistently to kill you, it's probably not a very healthy relationship.

Broke me up! :D
Another book I do not feel compeled in any way to spend $ or time on.


message 9: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Thanks, Linda ^_^ Even if I hated the book, I think you should still give it a try. Who knows, maybe you'll end up liking it.


 Linda (Miss Greedybooks) La Demonic Circus Princess wrote: "Thanks, Linda ^_^ Even if I hated the book, I think you should still give it a try. Who knows, maybe you'll end up liking it."

Thanks, I have said before I love the reviews here. I would not dismiss a book because of a bad review - people have different tastes. I do take into consideration a few reviews by friends I have made here that have books rated in common with me. I will add a book to my TBR because of a review, as shown by how enormous my list has gotten. At least my TBR pile is getting taller also. I read things about books that I know I would not care for so think I will pass on them. As Zappa says - "So many books, so little time". I must decide which ones I want to spend my time with.


message 11: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Okay :) It's good you'r being considerate about your TBRs. My goal isn't to dissuade people from reading the book, but to state my honest opinion in comedic fashion ^-^


message 12: by Joss (new) - rated it 1 star

Joss Let's not forget what Helen's nickname was!


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