Karla's Reviews > Wizard's First Rule

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind
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Sep 02, 11

bookshelves: sci-fi-and-fantasy, boring-as-batshite, wtf-was-this
Read on January 01, 2000

This is one of those books that I know I read, but only remember a few things about. In this case, the 50+ page torture porn of the hero by some leather-clad dominatrix ebil woman wielding an electric cattle prod. It had been blah brain candy (aka "current epic fantasy") up until then (or so my feeble memory recalls through the haze of meh), but the extended torture scene really ramped up the boredom. I'm glad I bailed on this series because from all I've heard about the later books in the series, it really didn't improve any. But they make fine paperweights and doorstoppers, I hear.
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Comments (showing 1-15 of 15) (15 new)

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message 1: by Sarah (new)

Sarah In a delightful cosmic irony, I just finished scanning our Goodkind shelf into inventory. I could barely carry them in both arms. :P


message 2: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (Oops, forgot to finish my thought.)

But if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a fantasy author who refuses to label his own books as fantasy. WTF. At least have the balls to admit what you're writing, dude.


Karla The high ratings of this series baffle me. The fact that his "moral philosophy" is ripped from Ayn Rand only makes it more "must avoid" IMO.


message 4: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Books like this are what drove me away from 95% of genre fantasy after 2003-ish. At first it was difficult giving up the collection...but once they left the house, I didn't miss them in the least. The only ones I kept are the Game of Thrones series (damn, that guy is a slow writer -- I remember reading book 1 during sophomore year o.O), the Dragonrider series, & the Crown of Shadows trilogy. But nowadays I'm pretty exclusive to the less-is-more type of fantasy -- less epic battling, less magical quests, blah blah -- or historical-grounded fantasy. It's the best way to avoid asshats like Goodkind.


Karla I think I started the Crown of Shadows series. Kate Elliot, right? I read the first one, but didn't continue the series after that. The ending was so hectic and messy that I lost all track of what was happening. O__o

Tolkien is as epic-y genre fantasy as I get. I'll still read Dragonlance, but only as long as that sexy bitch Raistlin Majere is in the story. :P I named my cold, unfeeling iguana after him. LOL


message 6: by Slavena (new)

Slavena roflmao "leather-clad dominatrix ebil woman wielding an electric cattle prod" that creates such funny images that I laughed so hard


Karla In retrospect, it is hilariously awful. At the time I read it, I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out with a spork. :P


message 8: by Dawn (& Ron) (new)

Dawn (& Ron) Always use a spork. It is much easier to catch one's eyes after gouging and prevent them from hitting the floor.

The 50+ page cattle prod torture scene really conjures up images.


message 9: by Sarah (last edited Sep 03, 2011 12:31AM) (new)

Sarah Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I think I started the Crown of Shadows series. Kate Elliot, right? I read the first one, but didn't continue the series after that. The ending was so hectic and messy that I lost all track of what..."

Ah, no...I misremembered the books I was thinking of. They are The Coldfire Trilogy, I meant, not Crown of Shadows. D'oh. I think your Kate Elliot series is this one, right? I never got around to trying that...and judging by what happened when I tried her Cold Magic series, I'm glad I didn't.

And I am SO glad there aren't any cattleprod-wielding dominatrix(es) in any fantasy books I've read. WTF?! (The bad WTF, rather.) I'm sorry, but anyone who includes that in their book & takes themselves seriously afterward has serious delusions of grandeur.


message 10: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Sarah wrote: "but anyone who includes that in their book & takes themselves seriously afterward has serious delusions of grandeur."

Especially the scene with Teh Ebil Chickun


message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah W.T.F.

This dude is officially on my shit list.

...but can't you hear Crow, Servo, & Mike tearing into that oncreen? Bwaha.


message 12: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Makes me wish it was a movie. Because I could so hear them indeed. :D And they'd be ragging Richard Rahl throughout every scene.

Damn, make the movie already!


message 13: by Kerrie (new)

Kerrie I'd totally forgotten about the Evil Chicken of Doom!




message 14: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla OMG, I want that toy, like, RIGHT NOW. :D


message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Wind-Up Evul Chicken = WIN.

You know that would make an appearance in the MST3K pre-commercial skits.


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