0 stars. DNF @55%. Review edited February 12, 2015“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them.
- Author unknown -
I've had a rather long list of issues when I decided to abandon ship. FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a paperback I would have burned the
offending thing. It's a total mystery to me why this book ever saw the light of day because, let's face it, the writing is incredibly juvenile. The story and characters are extremely poorly written and I couldn't for the life of me connect with the dumb, clumsy, naïve and immature heroine.
Also, the slimy whacko didn't deserve to be called hero. Christian is a highly manipulative, abusive and stalker-ish asshole. His whispers didn't endear him to me either. He came off as a total creep. I honestly don't understand what Ana saw in him, yet on the other hand, I didn't get it why Christian would stalk that bland and vapid wallflower. In any event, these two deserved each other and Ana obviously enjoyed Grey's blunt and crude approach.
The whole contract business was pretty much mind-boggling. I don't believe that a healthy and consensual Dom/sub relationship could be based upon such crappy and ridiculous rules.
Christian, the rich Superman (sarcasm), deflowered our wallflower in a way that's not even worthy of losing any words over that pathetic fuck. So, you did guess right. I neither found the sex to be hot nor erotic. At.All. Thus, I'd better buy him a ticket to the next Mars expedition stat. That would ensure that Mr. Grey would not return to our cozy place called Mother Earth.
FSoG lacked depth and emotion big time. Except of disgust and anger I felt nothing towards these pathetic main protagonists and their fucked up trip bored me to tears.
The winking smileys irritated the hell outta me and all that inner goddess shit made me almost blow a fuse. Jesus.Fucking.Christ. Would you give me a break already? I've read a variety of erotica books and I do enjoy great smexin' that comes with some kind of depth and great characterization. However, I'm not sorry to say that FSoG is ranking among the worst erotica books I've ever read.What's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoShit provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy. I don't criticize readers who loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage. I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life (or in the bedroom for that matter). Seriously? Never. Ever. FSoG is bad erotica. It's bad BDSM too.
When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality,” then I think something is seriously wrong. Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality. What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself with my very healthy hand, and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs. Thank you very much. BTW, my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker. Oh, yes, now it dawns on me…my boyfriend is real.
Bottom line, the barely there plot and the characters were overly shallow, underdeveloped, immature and boring. The amateurish writing killed any desire to read anything else by this author in the future. And last but not least, my inner goddess was so fucking relieved when she had to quit eventually. It was a very tedious and crappy experience and I wish I had never bought this book, let alone attempted to go through this rubbish. I was in dire need of bleaching my brain.
Christopher Hitchens said…
Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay.
As a side note