Baba ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them.

- Author unknown -




Well, let me come down to business. I didn't like this book. FSoG couldn't live up to my expectations--not by a long shot! It was a huge disappointment. Ultimately, I had to cave in--I couldn’t finish FSoG.



I dislike the author’s writing style--it’s juvenile and not even average. FSoG is a poorly written story, and in order to properly file this book I added a new shelf. It’s labeled “books-everyone-loved-but-Baba”.



Ana. She graduated and is almost 22-years old. Still, she speaks and acts so immature. She’s incredibly naïve, clumsy and so not sophisticated. She annoyed me in a major way.



Christian. Yikes! A highly manipulative and slimy creature. He’s whispering a lot and when he does it...he’s so creepy, a serious whacko! I don’t get it what Ana saw in him. Then again, I couldn’t understand what Grey saw in Ana, either. *shrugs* Conclusion: a perfect match. Grey is crude, crass, and blunt without any class at all. I think he’d be picture-perfect in a toothpaste ad or an Audi ad. Furthermore, he was way too domineering. Grey practically 'owned' Ana, and this went way beyond the bedroom. As far as I can judge, there's a difference between a Dom/slave or Dom/sub relationship, after all.



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I had my first WTF moment when I was reading about all those rules and a bit later on when Ana lost her virginity. This was so NOT romantic or sensual. *rolls eyes* Christian was incredibly crude and harsh. When you were a virgin, did you want to get fu**ed, too? I remember that I wanted to make love. Christian, I'm gonna buy you a one way ticket straight to the moon. Honestly, if you want to read a good BDSM book, then give Joey W. Hill or Cherise Sinclair  a try. It's a better way to spend your money.



Actually, the sex scenes--I’m sorry, the fu**ing scenes--were far from being erotic or sensual. I'm sorry to say it but they weren’t even hot. When I’m reading a sex scene and it’s really well written, it makes me hot and bothered. With that said, when Christian and Ana were together I felt nothing at all. There was no emotional connection, and I was bored out of my ever lovin' mind. I even caught myself skipping lines. 



When Ana got this email with a winking smiley and she got so excited, I said to myself "What almost 22-year old woman would get so thrilled about a winking smiley?" So childish! Grow up, already! At a particular time I couldn’t hear this inner goddess sh*t any longer. So dreadful! *rolls eyes again*



The whole contract/rules/paper stuff felt absolutely unreal. Honestly, I already enjoyed a lot of BDSM books. But FSoG? It beats all! I feel rather spaced out. FSoG doesn’t ring true--it just didn’t do it for me. Ah, yes, it’s only a fantasy. Actually, it felt like a horrible nightmare. Once Grey said "I could threaten you." I’m so not into this crap. What hero would (sexually) threaten the heroine? *smack yourself, you whacko*



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What bothered me as well was the fact that Grey was 15-years old when an older woman seduced him. Imagine, if Grey would have been a 15-year old girl and would have been seduced by an older man? Well, when I think of it, then I'd call that pedophilia. Obviously Grey was led on to his lifestyle by this woman when he was a minor. That's not normal and it is not legal, either.



Ultimately, I didn’t feel connected and the atmospheric density was totally lacking. Christian and Ana were extremely shallow, underdeveloped, immature, and the story didn’t have any depth. My inner goddess was so relieved when I had to cave in eventually. It was incredibly tedious and I wanted it to be over! Game over, dude!



What's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoG provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy. I don't criticize readers who loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage. I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life. Seriously? Never. Ever. FSoG is bad erotica. It's bad BDSM too.
 
When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality,” then I think something is seriously wrong. Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality. What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself, and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs, thank you very much. BTW, my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker. Oh, yes, now it dawns on me…my boyfriend is real.


OVERALL VERDICT:
 
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Reading Progress

09/19/2011
15.0% "The heroine, Ana, is often talking to herself. She's shy and clumsy and blushes constantly. Awwww, she'll step into the lion's den! I'm quite tense...I want to see how she'll handle Grey or should I better say it's the other way round. Until now, it's an entertaining read - rather hilarious. I like it!"
09/19/2011
22.0% "I am so not 'amused' right now. Because I've had my WTF?-moment when I read all those rules and a bit later when Ana lost her virginity. This was so not romantic. Hello?? *urgh* I do hope that this will improve..."
09/20/2011
35.0% "Gosh, I have to tough this out. Ana begins to seriously tick me off. She speaks and acts so immature. She’s not sophisticated. She got an e-mail with a winking smiley. Seriously! What almost 22 year old would get excited about a winking smiley?? I can’t hear this inner goddess shit anymore. Jeez, I plead with MY inner goddess: “Give me the strength to finish this book and let me survive this clusterfuck!”" 3 comments
09/20/2011
35.0% "I had not enough room before. So I continue now: When I read this contract/paper stuff...my oh my oh my...seriously, this is sick. I already enjoyed a lot of BDSM books. But this one here...I feel rather spaced out. I would treat my dog differently if I had one. And Grey seems really fucked up. :((("
09/21/2011
48.0% "Bad. Worse. Worst! I started to write my review today. There's so much stuff I don't appreciate here. Incredible! I don't have enough space here to voice it all. This is a huge disappointment. :(((" 6 comments

Comments (showing 51-100 of 236) (236 new)


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Jill wrote: "You know I never did get back to this. One of my very rare DNFs."

This advice comes for free, Jill...do not go back to this book.


message 52: by Jill (new) - rated it 1 star

Jill Baba wrote: "Jill wrote: "You know I never did get back to this. One of my very rare DNFs."

This advice comes for free, Jill...do not go back to this book."


Thanks Baba. Another one you took for the team.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Jill wrote: "Baba wrote: "Jill wrote: "You know I never did get back to this. One of my very rare DNFs."

This advice comes for free, Jill...do not go back to this book."

Thanks Baba. Another one you took for ..."


Aw, Jill, you're so nice! ;) Of course I'd do it any day - again...


message 54: by Marg (new) - rated it 3 stars

Marg Oh, my online bookclub just chose it as their next read.


message 55: by Jill (new) - rated it 1 star

Jill Marg wrote: "Oh, my online bookclub just chose it as their next read."

You can always choose to have a bad case of glaucoma for a month Marg.


message 56: by Marg (new) - rated it 3 stars

Marg LOL.... that bad huh!


message 57: by Jill (new) - rated it 1 star

Jill Well I only read the first bit and I found it poorly written and the h annoying. Having said that some GR friends have enjoyed it. But just not for me. A rare DNF.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Calia wrote: "great review. couldn't agree more!!"

Thanks, Calia! It amazes me how many readers clicked this like button because I'm definitely a minority with my opinion. :))


message 59: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla I think that's why you've gotten so many likes! Everyone who read or tried to read this and didn't see what the BFD was sees your review as a lone beacon of sanity. ;)


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I think that's why you've gotten so many likes! Everyone who read or tried to read this and didn't see what the BFD was sees your review as a lone beacon of sanity. ;)"

Yes, Karla, exactly; that was on my mind too! I don't know but can you search reviews by ratings?? Maybe the readers did a search for one-star ratings/reviews??


message 61: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Yes, you can filter by ratings. I know I do that for books that seem to be heavily skewed to the SQUEE side, like this book. I want to hear what the few naysayers have to say - which is how I found yours. :)


message 62: by Molly (new) - rated it 1 star

Molly I couldn't even complete this piece of crap when it WAS Twilight Fanfiction. That's how bad it is.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Molly wrote: "I couldn't even complete this piece of crap when it WAS Twilight Fanfiction. That's how bad it is."

LOL It was hard to stomach! When I read this book I didn't know it was Twilight fanfic...


Duchess Nicole Awww, Baba, I've got to disagree. This book is actually the first half of her fanfic book before it was split into two stories. The second book is where the character growth really takes place. Though I'm not trying to encourage anyone who didn't like Shades of Grey to continue with the second one, because it IS still the same people. But Christian is such a broken person, and I think that resonates with a lot of people. When you read about his past, it explains so much. I may be biased, as I am in the love love love group! To each his own.


message 65: by Taryn at My Secret Romance (last edited Dec 04, 2011 06:29PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Taryn at My Secret Romance Duchess Nicole wrote: "Awww, Baba, I've got to disagree. This book is actually the first half of her fanfic book before it was split into two stories. The second book is where the character growth really takes place. ..."

Duchess Nicole, I am in the same group with you! I was actually surprised that Baba didn't like this book. She and I have just about the same taste in books so when I saw that she didn't like this book, I got a little worried thinking I wouldn't either. I will say in the beginning I thought Christian was a little creepy (like Baba said). Those were the perfect words to describe him during one scene, but I kept reading and I am so happy I did. The second book nearly broke my heart in two! The more you read the story, the more you understand why Christian is the way he is. Is it January yet?


Duchess Nicole Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean! At the end of Grey, I was bawling like a baby. You could just tell that there was so much more to Christian that we didn't know yet. And in FSDarker, it's like the curtains opened up. This is such an intense series. If it weren't for my kids, I think I'd skip over the next month to get to Fifty Shades Freed. Just the title makes me tear up!


Taryn at My Secret Romance Duchess Nicole wrote: "Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean! At the end of Grey, I was bawling like a baby. You could just tell that there was so much more to Christian that we didn't know yet. And in FSDarker, it's ..."

I actually got a little nervous after reading the synopsis for FSFreed. There is one part where it says Ana will be alone and desperate and fighting the demons of Christian's past. I, for a moment, thought that he will die. So I got on here and messaged the author telling her I will die a 1000 deaths if Christian dies and to please give me anything to let me know he will be ok. LOL All she said was that she's fond of him too....so I have hope!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Nicole, Taryn, obviously one thing is for sure. We will have to agree to disagree. Being in agony while reading a book and even cause self-harm (like pulling out my hair) is so not my goal, therefore I'll gladly decline to continue reading these books. I know I am a minority here, but I don't care and I'll stick to my opinion and it is duly noted that you'll stick to yours. Fortunately there are and will be enough other books on which we will agree. Again. :)


message 69: by Duchess Nicole (last edited Dec 04, 2011 10:40PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Duchess Nicole Baba, there are so many books, it's hard to choose, and it's not worth trucking along if you know you won't like it. And obviously you've got quite a few non fans that agree with you. I've recently forced myself to read a series that everyone else was gaga over. I kept expecting it to turn into something amazing and it never did. It's probably good that you stop at book one. I feel like I wasted quite a bit of time and money. So, no more hair pulling! Give your poor hair some tlc :-D


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Duchess Nicole wrote: "Baba, there are so many books, it's hard to choose, and it's not worth trucking along if you know you won't like it. And obviously you've got quite a few non fans that agree with you. I've recentl..."

Exactly, Nicole! :))


Denise~The Procrastinating Book Diva~ I had no idea that you even read this, let alone didn't like it. I'll admit the writing does leave a lot to be desired, but despite this the characters and story worked for me.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Denise wrote: "I had no idea that you even read this, let alone didn't like it. I'll admit the writing does leave a lot to be desired, but despite this the characters and story worked for me."

Yes, Denise, I think it was awful, and we will have to agree to disagree for once. That's ok. Fortunately we are on the same page with so many other great books! :D


message 73: by Denise~The Procrastinating Book Diva~ (last edited Dec 13, 2011 03:14PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Denise~The Procrastinating Book Diva~ Baba wrote: Yes, Denise, I think it was awful, and we will have to agree to disagree for once. That's ok. Fortunately we are on the same page with so many other great books! :D "

I agree - we'll just chalk this one up as a fluke :)


message 74: by Tiko (new) - rated it 1 star

Tiko Telia haha baba im your biig fan :D


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tiko wrote: "haha baba im your biig fan :D"

Yeah, Tiko, we're such a little minority here, but I'm glad I could entertain you. :D


message 76: by Tiko (new) - rated it 1 star

Tiko Telia i so agree with u lol... i dont even feel like finishing it just reading to know why do most ppl give it 5 stars :D


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tiko wrote: "i so agree with u lol... i dont even feel like finishing it just reading to know why do most ppl give it 5 stars :D"

I think I had to cave in when I was 55 % done. *shudders* Uhm, enjoy the rest of the story... ;) Oh, a winking smiley...hmmm...what does it tell you??


message 78: by Tiko (new) - rated it 1 star

Tiko Telia that its time to bang my head on the wall :D thats exacly how i felt :D


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tiko wrote: "that its time to bang my head on the wall :D thats exacly how i felt :D"

What about YOUR inner goddess??? LOL Jeez, now I can laugh about it, then again I was close to destroy my Kindle! Poor baby (I mean my Kindle)...


message 80: by Tiko (new) - rated it 1 star

Tiko Telia inner goddess haha that 1 was... remembering makes me smile but... xD u understand i guess :D but rules... those were epic fail moments :D i was like... am i dreaming or rlly reading it?! :D


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tiko wrote: "inner goddess haha that 1 was... remembering makes me smile but... xD u understand i guess :D but rules... those were epic fail moments :D i was like... am i dreaming or rlly reading it?! :D"

Aw, the rules...yes, kind of weird! :D


Starr ♔ Lost for words. But you're kind of right about the Ana-lost-her-virginity-thing. It's not so romantic at all. And not a single girl wants that. And the rules.. they're kind of tedious to read. Hahaha. But I like the part where Ana got a winking smiley.. I'm like this when I got one from my crush. Lol.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Starr wrote: "Lost for words. But you're kind of right about the Ana-lost-her-virginity-thing. It's not so romantic at all. And not a single girl wants that. And the rules.. they're kind of tedious to read. Haha..."

Let's just say this was so not my cuppa...


~J~ Riverina Romantics My inner goddess loved it.

Made me all tingly 'down there'....

Don't mind me - just going to wash my mouth out with soap.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Jodie wrote: "My inner goddess loved it.

Made me all tingly 'down there'....

Don't mind me - just going to wash my mouth out with soap."


Jodie...Jodie...


Michelle [Helen Geek] The cost of this one put me off. I thought I'd just wait. No hurry -- have a feeling my thoughts will sync with yours on this one. Thanks for the heads up!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Michelle wrote: "The cost of this one put me off. I thought I'd just wait. No hurry -- have a feeling my thoughts will sync with yours on this one. Thanks for the heads up!"

You're welcome, Michelle. Maybe it'd work for you though. I'm really a minority here...


Sarah I totally agree with you


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Sarah wrote: "I totally agree with you"

Thanks, Sarah!


message 90: by Gia (new) - rated it 1 star

Gia Holy Moly! Couldn't agree with you more. Most irritating chick ever! The worst thing is I have to know the ending and it sucked!
The writing was terrible and so repetitive. The sex scenes...well didn't cause anything 'down there'!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Gia wrote: "Holy Moly! Couldn't agree with you more. Most irritating chick ever! The worst thing is I have to know the ending and it sucked!
The writing was terrible and so repetitive. The sex scenes...well d..."


LOL about the "down there", Gia! :))


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tina wrote: "wow...sad that you didn't get it."

Well, I think your needless comment is incredibly sad, Tina. I love BDSM books but certainly not Fifty. Actually, I'm doing a re-read of Joey W. Hill's Ice Queen, Mirror of My Soul, and Natural Law. Needless to say how much I love her excellent and meaningful prose.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Tina wrote: "Baba...no need to get defensive. Just expressing my POV. I DO feel sad that you did not get it."

PLEASE, SPARE ME WITH YOUR COMMENTS!!


message 94: by Mimi (new) - rated it 2 stars

Mimi Smith Good review, Baba!
I remember reading this one but not what my impression was... *embarrassed ummm*. That's what reviews are for!
I think Ana annoyed me... The inner goddess, too. Or is the inner goddess her?
Oh, well, who'd bother with a re-read? :P


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Mimi wrote: "Good review, Baba!
I remember reading this one but not what my impression was... *embarrassed ummm*. That's what reviews are for!
I think Ana annoyed me... The inner goddess, too. Or is the inner g..."


Thanks, Mimi! Well, I prefer not to comment anymore if that's ok with you? See post number 93 and 95...


message 96: by Mimi (new) - rated it 2 stars

Mimi Smith Ahh. All right. Sorry... ((hugs))


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Mimi wrote: "Ahh. All right. Sorry... ((hugs))"

Hey, don't apologize, Mimi! ((Hugs)) too, sweets!


Anachronist I won't even start this one because of your review and plenty other reviews - thanks so much! You saved my money and you saved me a lot of bad feelings! I am sorry you bought this one but still...


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Anachronist wrote: "I won't even start this one because of your review and plenty other reviews - thanks so much! You saved my money and you saved me a lot of bad feelings! I am sorry you bought this one but still..."

Don't mind me, Anachronist. It's only my opinion, after all. So many readers loved it...


Anachronist Baba wrote:Don't mind me, Anachronist. It's only my opinion, after all. So many readers loved it...

So many people loved Twilight...I read it all and I wasn't impressed. I don't want to repeat my mistake.


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