Baba ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
4669232
Photobucket

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them.

- Author unknown -




Well, let me come down to business. I didn't like this book. FSoG couldn't live up to my expectations--not by a long shot! It was a huge disappointment. Ultimately, I had to cave in--I couldn’t finish FSoG.



I dislike the author’s writing style--it’s juvenile and not even average. FSoG is a poorly written story, and in order to properly file this book I added a new shelf. It’s labeled “books-everyone-loved-but-Baba”.



Ana. She graduated and is almost 22-years old. Still, she speaks and acts so immature. She’s incredibly naïve, clumsy and so not sophisticated. She annoyed me in a major way.



Christian. Yikes! A highly manipulative and slimy creature. He’s whispering a lot and when he does it...he’s so creepy, a serious whacko! I don’t get it what Ana saw in him. Then again, I couldn’t understand what Grey saw in Ana, either. *shrugs* Conclusion: a perfect match. Grey is crude, crass, and blunt without any class at all. I think he’d be picture-perfect in a toothpaste ad or an Audi ad. Furthermore, he was way too domineering. Grey practically 'owned' Ana, and this went way beyond the bedroom. As far as I can judge, there's a difference between a Dom/slave or Dom/sub relationship, after all.



Photobucket

I had my first WTF moment when I was reading about all those rules and a bit later on when Ana lost her virginity. This was so NOT romantic or sensual. *rolls eyes* Christian was incredibly crude and harsh. When you were a virgin, did you want to get fu**ed, too? I remember that I wanted to make love. Christian, I'm gonna buy you a one way ticket straight to the moon. Honestly, if you want to read a good BDSM book, then give Joey W. Hill or Cherise Sinclair  a try. It's a better way to spend your money.



Actually, the sex scenes--I’m sorry, the fu**ing scenes--were far from being erotic or sensual. I'm sorry to say it but they weren’t even hot. When I’m reading a sex scene and it’s really well written, it makes me hot and bothered. With that said, when Christian and Ana were together I felt nothing at all. There was no emotional connection, and I was bored out of my ever lovin' mind. I even caught myself skipping lines. 



When Ana got this email with a winking smiley and she got so excited, I said to myself "What almost 22-year old woman would get so thrilled about a winking smiley?" So childish! Grow up, already! At a particular time I couldn’t hear this inner goddess sh*t any longer. So dreadful! *rolls eyes again*



The whole contract/rules/paper stuff felt absolutely unreal. Honestly, I already enjoyed a lot of BDSM books. But FSoG? It beats all! I feel rather spaced out. FSoG doesn’t ring true--it just didn’t do it for me. Ah, yes, it’s only a fantasy. Actually, it felt like a horrible nightmare. Once Grey said "I could threaten you." I’m so not into this crap. What hero would (sexually) threaten the heroine? *smack yourself, you whacko*



Photobucket

What bothered me as well was the fact that Grey was 15-years old when an older woman seduced him. Imagine, if Grey would have been a 15-year old girl and would have been seduced by an older man? Well, when I think of it, then I'd call that pedophilia. Obviously Grey was led on to his lifestyle by this woman when he was a minor. That's not normal and it is not legal, either.



Ultimately, I didn’t feel connected and the atmospheric density was totally lacking. Christian and Ana were extremely shallow, underdeveloped, immature, and the story didn’t have any depth. My inner goddess was so relieved when I had to cave in eventually. It was incredibly tedious and I wanted it to be over! Game over, dude!



What's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoG provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy. I don't criticize readers who loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage. I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life. Seriously? Never. Ever. FSoG is bad erotica. It's bad BDSM too.
 
When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality,” then I think something is seriously wrong. Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality. What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself, and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs, thank you very much. BTW, my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker. Oh, yes, now it dawns on me…my boyfriend is real.


OVERALL VERDICT:
 
Photobucket
794 likes · likeflag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Fifty Shades of Grey.
sign in »

Reading Progress

09/19/2011
15.0% "The heroine, Ana, is often talking to herself. She's shy and clumsy and blushes constantly. Awwww, she'll step into the lion's den! I'm quite tense...I want to see how she'll handle Grey or should I better say it's the other way round. Until now, it's an entertaining read - rather hilarious. I like it!"
09/19/2011
22.0% "I am so not 'amused' right now. Because I've had my WTF?-moment when I read all those rules and a bit later when Ana lost her virginity. This was so not romantic. Hello?? *urgh* I do hope that this will improve..."
09/20/2011
35.0% "Gosh, I have to tough this out. Ana begins to seriously tick me off. She speaks and acts so immature. She’s not sophisticated. She got an e-mail with a winking smiley. Seriously! What almost 22 year old would get excited about a winking smiley?? I can’t hear this inner goddess shit anymore. Jeez, I plead with MY inner goddess: “Give me the strength to finish this book and let me survive this clusterfuck!”" 3 comments
09/20/2011
35.0% "I had not enough room before. So I continue now: When I read this contract/paper stuff...my oh my oh my...seriously, this is sick. I already enjoyed a lot of BDSM books. But this one here...I feel rather spaced out. I would treat my dog differently if I had one. And Grey seems really fucked up. :((("
09/21/2011
48.0% "Bad. Worse. Worst! I started to write my review today. There's so much stuff I don't appreciate here. Incredible! I don't have enough space here to voice it all. This is a huge disappointment. :(((" 6 comments

Comments (showing 1-50 of 236) (236 new)


message 1: by Wendy (new)

Wendy OMG, I've just added this to my TBR! Fancy that, hey? Well now I'm going to have to wait for your review, LOL.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Wendy wrote: "OMG, I've just added this to my TBR! Fancy that, hey? Well now I'm going to have to wait for your review, LOL."

Wendy, Wendy...you said that you didn't want to use this button anymore! LOL Sorry, I was just kidding!

Yeah, will keep you posted. I read a few pages and it is rather funny. The heroine is a bit clumsy because she feels intimidated by Grey, the hero. Imagine, I think she's a virgin.


message 3: by Wendy (new)

Wendy Oh nooo, I can see it being a definite read?? Crap, I can't spend anymore money!!! We'll see :)


message 4: by Lori K (new)

Lori K So be specific, What don't you like?


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Lori K wrote: "So be specific, What don't you like?"

You can read my review. I had to cave in.


message 6: by Lori K (new)

Lori K OK, You do know that Gabrie's Inferno is ALSO a fanfiction based on Twilight?

Why are you buying his stuff that was free online based off Twilight?


message 7: by Lori K (new)

Lori K AND-in this version does he pull the tampon out of her so he can f*ck her?


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Lori K wrote: "AND-in this version does he pull the tampon out of her so he can f*ck her?"

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I don't know!! What a sickooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me???????????


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Lori K wrote: "OK, You do know that Gabrie's Inferno is ALSO a fanfiction based on Twilight?

Why are you buying his stuff that was free online based off Twilight?"


But Gabriel's Inferno is SOOOOO way better than Fifty Shades...No, I didn't know that I could read this for free. As I mentioned I'm not familiar with fanfiction. And I should add something else: I don't watch TV anymore. I didn't watch Twilight. Really, I'm so not into this stuff. I'm 39.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Lori K wrote: "OK, You do know that Gabrie's Inferno is ALSO a fanfiction based on Twilight?

Why are you buying his stuff that was free online based off Twilight?"


This Pattinson guy is SO NOT my type. I don't like boys. I prefer real men!


message 11: by Lori K (new)

Lori K Ha, ha. Yes he really did that. Now you can see why people were appalled when it got "published".


message 12: by Lori K (new)

Lori K Here, I downloaded off the database (that is top secret) a story called "Behind Enemy Lines". It is so good but the author pulled it.

It is M/F, bummer but if you want it email me and I'll send the pdf.

it's about an internationl aid worker and her boyfriend who get-what else, caught behind enemy lines.


message 13: by Lori K (new)

Lori K Everyone! I want to point out this was free online-I am not pirating or anything like that!


message 14: by Wendy (new)

Wendy Great review Barbara! I'm steering away from this one ;)


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Wendy wrote: "Great review Barbara! I'm steering away from this one ;)"

Thanks, Wendy! Your pile of books is big enough as it is. You'll find a better one. :)))


message 16: by Jill (new) - rated it 1 star

Jill Baba, great review! I got only a short way into the story and stopped. I also thought it was poorly written and found Ana very immature, even a bit stupid. We're on the same page for this one.

Btw, I keep meaning to tell you that I love your quotes at the top of your reviews. This one is particularly good.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Jill wrote: "Baba, great review! I got only a short way into the story and stopped. I also thought it was poorly written and found Ana very immature, even a bit stupid. We're on the same page for this one.

Btw..."


Thanks, Jill! I do love all kinds of special quotes. And I think a good quote enhances the meaning of my reviews. This particular quote above IS PERFECT for this review. It says all!


Nikki Awesome review, Baba. And everything that I felt about this book. The writing was awful, Ana was awful. I did like Christian though, and their connection. I ended up giving it 3 stars.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Nikki wrote: "Awesome review, Baba. And everything that I felt about this book. The writing was awful, Ana was awful. I did like Christian though, and their connection. I ended up giving it 3 stars."

Thanks, Nikki! What did you think about this tampon thing? Unfortunately I stopped reading before this particular scene...


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Kristen wrote: "Well said!"

Thanks, Kristen!


Nikki Baba wrote: "Thanks, Nikki! What did you think about this tampon thing? Unfortunately I stopped reading before this particular scene..."

Hmmm it's been over a month since I read it and the whole tampon thing is a little blurry to me. Did he pull it out or something? Or told her to? I dunno... a lot of what he did didn't really bother me at all. It was Ana and the writing that I could barely tolerate.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Nikki wrote: "Baba wrote: "Thanks, Nikki! What did you think about this tampon thing? Unfortunately I stopped reading before this particular scene..."

Hmmm it's been over a month since I read it and the whole t..."


Well, a GR friend told me that he pulled it out so he could fu** her!! Ewwwwww!!!


Nikki Hahahaha you're so cute.


message 25: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (last edited Oct 11, 2011 10:02AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Jill wrote: "Baba, great review! I got only a short way into the story and stopped. I also thought it was poorly written and found Ana very immature, even a bit stupid."

Yeah, I was getting that feeling just from Chapter 1.

-Sucky, flat writing
-Clumsy and idiotic heroine. Her little thought bubbles are all "Crap! Double crap!" Got old after the first time.

So I bailed. The Ammy Look Inside feature is such a blessing at times. :)


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Jill wrote: "Baba, great review! I got only a short way into the story and stopped. I also thought it was poorly written and found Ana very immature, even a bit stupid."

Yeah, I was getting that f..."


Lucky you, Karla! Better get 'tortured' by my boys than reading this book. Embarrassing...


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Yup, it blew all kinds of nasty chunks of awfulness into my eyes.

And I think everyone has a "everybody loved it but ___" shelf, or should. :)


~J~ Riverina Romantics I could rant for hours about this book but I am determined to bite my tongue....damn determined....


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Jodie wrote: "I could rant for hours about this book but I am determined to bite my tongue....damn determined...."

LOL! Don't hurt your tongue too much, Jodie!!


Taryn at My Secret Romance So I read a few reviews on this book before I started it. About 7% in, Christian smiled a certain way and all I could think about was how you said he was creepy because that's exactly how I felt when I read it! LOL Had to share with you.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Taryn, this was so not my book even though a lot of readers loved it. Maybe I'm too old to like this story because it seems that a lot of readers who love it are very young and are fans of Twilight. I read it without knowing that the story was based on Twilight.


~J~ Riverina Romantics I loved Twilight Baba, but did NOT like this book.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Jodie wrote: "I loved Twilight Baba, but did NOT like this book."

I believe you Jodie. But a lot of readers love this book because it's based on Twilight. And they don't care about an inferior writing style or other issues!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Taryn-does it have romance? wrote: "So I read a few reviews on this book before I started it. About 7% in, Christian smiled a certain way and all I could think about was how you said he was creepy because that's exactly how I felt wh..."

Taryn, in case you'll continue to read the story, I'd like to get your insight on a particular scene. In order to have sex with the heroine Christian had to pull out her tampon! When I heard about THAT...*shudders* and ewwwwwww! You know what I mean?


~J~ Riverina Romantics I wasn't a fan of that scene either.


Taryn at My Secret Romance Are you effing kidding me??? So funny you said it was on Twilight. That's all I kept thinking about while I'm reading this! It's Twilight but for adults-and no vamps.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Taryn-does it have romance? wrote: "Are you effing kidding me??? So funny you said it was on Twilight. That's all I kept thinking about while I'm reading this! It's Twilight but for adults-and no vamps."

I am so not kidding! LOL


Taryn at My Secret Romance The people who are finding this book so great and hot and erotic must like that scene! I'm sorry, but no one pulls my tampon out but me! LOL!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Fifty Shades & Twilight fans (visual approximation):
[image error]

(I kid because I love.)


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Taryn-does it have romance? wrote: "The people who are finding this book so great and hot and erotic must like that scene! I'm sorry, but no one pulls my tampon out but me! LOL!"

Exactly! LOL


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Fifty Shades & Twilight fans (visual approximation):


(I kid because I love.)"


Oh, bad, bad girl, Karla! LOL


~J~ Riverina Romantics I found a review that stated that this was the 'most erotic book you will ever read'

I think I snorted my coffee out my nose at that statement. That lady needs to get out a little more.

I suppose nothing says 'erotic' like dirty tampons and timid bdsm.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Jodie wrote: "I found a review that stated that this was the 'most erotic book you will ever read'

I think I snorted my coffee out my nose at that statement. That lady needs to get out a little more.


Jodie, maybe it's the only book she's ever read?? :))



Taryn at My Secret Romance That's some book she chose for it to be her first! LOL


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Taryn-does it have romance? wrote: "That's some book she chose for it to be her first! LOL"

Sorry, I was kidding! :))

I have a hard time to see anything erotic in this story...


~J~ Riverina Romantics You don't find a guy pulling out your tampon erotic??

My 'Inner Goddess' goes haywire when that happens and I get a little tingle 'down there.'

Sorry - I'm overdosing on sarcasm atm.

Another two issues I had with this book - the over use of 'inner goddess and the fact that the author couldn't call her girly bits anything other than 'down there'


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Jodie wrote: "You don't find a guy pulling out your tampon erotic??

My 'Inner Goddess' goes haywire when that happens and I get a little tingle 'down there.'

Sorry - I'm overdosing on sarcasm atm.

Another t..."


I totally agree, Jodie!!!!!!!!!!!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) The more I hear about the later part of the book, the more I'm glad I bailed after one chapter.


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Tate, Dan & Hunter Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "The more I hear about the later part of the book, the more I'm glad I bailed after one chapter."

Aw, lucky you, Karla!!!


message 50: by Jill (new) - rated it 1 star

Jill You know I never did get back to this. One of my very rare DNFs.


« previous 1 3 4 5
back to top