mark monday's Reviews > Devil of the Highlands

Devil of the Highlands by Lynsay Sands
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Aug 05, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: i-gave-up, romantika, rain-man-reviews
Recommended to mark by: RBRS Assignment #1
read count: 1

These characters were just too dumb to hate. I thought the opening of this book was the fucking best opening of a book ever, and Lynsay Sands is another author on my must-buy list. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's a paranormal or a historical, her stories have humor and heart and leave me feeling good when I'm done. Standing room only on the train, heat index already at 115, nauseous service dog, and this book. Ok I'm done with this book and let me tell you it's funny, exciting, and has lots of love. Here is a summery of the book enjoy.

Evelinde is promised to "The Devil of Donnachaidh" and all she has heard about him are EXTREMELY horrible things. Have you ever had your nipple sucked accidentally? Have you ever sucked someone's nipple accidentally? Cullen is no dummy and his instant attraction to Evelinde causes him to move quickly to get her out from under her stepmother. He doesn't talk much, but he does grunt and growl A LOT. Scottish is an awesome language. "It's uncanny," said a senior researcher, speaking under condition of anonymity, they have improbably good sex like a couple of blow-up dolls. I like sex scenes. The great thing about them is tha they are usually the parts of the book that it opens to naturally, because when you're rubbing one out you tend to open the book a little wider. So you go looking for the parts of a library book that open easily, like Evelinde's womanhood. I laughed so hard I had to wash my face and can't fathom obvious-to-the-village-idiot type ideas like how a person might want a change of clothes when moving to a new home or that maybe you should stick around to introduce your new wife to your family. Or talk to her, ever.

Lots of humor, lots of hot lovemaking, and a happily ever after filled with love. I enjoyed Cullen and Evelinde immensely. Mostly because there was no contrived plot device to keep them apart - this book cares more about the woman’s orgasms than a lot of porn I’ve seen, and people who are forced into other marriages, they are just fucked. Each of the main character's learn a little something important about the other and all the miscommunications that they had had in the not so distant past are easier to understand. But don’t these people know there’s so much better porn out there? Whiskey tango foxtrot?

___________

my sincere apologies, Esteemed Literary Group. i know this was an assignment that i should have completed. i... just... could... not... do... it. let's pick a better book for the next go-round! although i suppose "better" is purely subjective.

and so i have presented to you my very first Drunken Review in the form of a very special Review Mash-Up. Guess the Reviewers! i can take no credit for a single phrase above the italics, i just don't have it in me now, and i feel it's time that other reviewers work for me! those were some good pisco sours i had tonight. the ceviche and those beef heart skewers were pretty tasty too. woot!


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10/07/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 51-89 of 89) (89 new)

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message 51: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah, there are some serious problems that are not trivial in that first book...hell, in most of them...just, it was my bag o treats, so I was forgiving.


Sparrow Yeah, totally. I'd like to blame my disapproval/approval of some stories versus others on something noble, but I think petty aesthetics go into my forgiveness or criticisms more than most other things.


message 53: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm not sure aesthetics are petty, but I totally dig what you're saying. I sometimes find myself left cold by technically accomplished stuff, or compelled by completely artless crap, and I don't know which is the weirder sensation.


Sparrow Yeah, I think it's so easy, though, to consider teh children in a high-minded way when the artless crap is not particularly compelling to me, but I know I'm totally willing to throw teh children under the bus when it hits my particular sweet spots. I guess that's why it's cool to have gr friends who have really different aesthetic preferences, but, like, similar ultimate concerns for teh children. Awww, diversity!


message 55: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday Knig-o-lass wrote: "I'm not seeing Loretta Chase, Judith Ivory, laura Kinsale and Theresa Medeiros on that list. In fact, I'm not really sold on that list. Gayle Feyrer is good too."

unsupportive Knig-o-lass! sigh.

those are a lot of authors. i'm going to be spending an enjoyable amount of time looking through their various bodies of work, seeing what strikes my interest... but i'm wondering if you have any specific suggestions re. titles from these authors.

wait a sec, i think i do have a Loretta Chase somewhere... let me check... ah! Lord of Scoundrels and right underneath that, Wait for What Will Come. 15 total! it will probably take me 15 years to get through them all. oh and that's not even counting the one that Ceridwen sent me a while back, which is in another pile altogether: Prelude to a Scandal.


Sparrow Gr! Notifications!


message 57: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday keep your eye out over the next 15 years for gr notifications concerning hot new(-ish) romance reviews from mark monday!


Sparrow Oh, there we go!

That's a lot of commitment, man. You love your romance.


message 59: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday i'm in love with love!

but once per year ain't so bad. not much of a commitment, more of an annual rendezvous!


message 60: by j (new)

j Sparrow wrote: "I got Lightreads', too. And Joel, right? The part about opening the book wider? And there's something from Michelle in there, maybe? I'm going to check now."

oh my god, i wish. i never read this one.


Sparrow haha, yeah, I think it was NSP's. This book inspired so many wonderful reviews that it's difficult to keep track of them. You should probably read it.


message 62: by j (new)

j Sparrow wrote: "You should probably read it."

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnrrrgh. remember how i have a one-month-old? this is how much time i have to read at home: .


Sparrow Whatever. You've been plowing through all kinds of garbage! You have time for a tale of highland hijinks. Also, congrats! That little girl is pretty cute - not to encourage your picture posting or anything.


message 64: by j (new)

j Yeah, garbage I want to read!


message 65: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday i give new parents a full year's pass on whining. whine away, Papa Joel, i feel your pain, you only have my sincerest sympathies! but after that year is up... BACK TO THE READING SCHEDULE.


Sparrow Joel wrote: "Yeah, garbage I want to read!"

really? REALLY? You had a burning desire to read Soulless and not the deveel?

You are too patient, mark.


message 67: by Sparrow (last edited May 15, 2012 03:36PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sparrow I'm just trying to help you overcome baby brain, joel. I've seen it claim too many good people.


message 68: by j (new)

j Sparrow wrote: "Joel wrote: "Yeah, garbage I want to read!"

really? REALLY? You had a burning desire to read Soulless and not the deeil?"


well, it's for a real-life book club, but yes.


message 69: by j (new)

j Sparrow wrote: "I'm just trying to help you overcome baby brain, joel. I've seen it claim too many good people."

keep your mind sharp with trashy romance?


Sparrow Joel wrote: "Sparrow wrote: "I'm just trying to help you overcome baby brain, joel. I've seen it claim too many good people."

keep your mind sharp with trashy romance?"


haha, no. See? Signs are already showing. I was thinking, Avoid the effects of baby brain by letting me make your decisions for you.

Actually, though, I'm feeling a twinge of conscience. This book is really bad. But, I do want to read your review of it so I am trying to take advantage of your weakened state. I confess.


message 71: by [deleted user] (new)

The first chapter or two *are* funny - even if I was laughing at it, not with it. I mean, roofie wedding was worth the price of admission.

And Caris's review. That was poetry.


message 72: by Sparrow (last edited May 15, 2012 04:00PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sparrow Ceridwen wrote: "The first chapter or two *are* funny - even if I was laughing at it, not with it. I mean, roofie wedding was worth the price of admission.

And Caris's review. That was poetry."


I agree! And the part where her dress falls off in the bull pen. But, oh man. Caris's review is one of the best fookin reviews of all time.


message 73: by [deleted user] (new)

OF ALL TIME.


message 74: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday MrsJoseph wrote: "dammit mark! I was going to rec you a good romance. :-(

Plus, you look like you were having too much fun in that pic. nofunforu!"


ah, i found the comment that i was looking for! i knew it was here on this thread somewhere.

so i should point out that that is actually not me in that photo. the real me is much more nerdy looking. like so:

wondrous


Miriam Nerdy, but coordinated?


message 76: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday yes, Nerdy, but coordinated and extremely charismatic. and a friend to pillows everywhere.


message 77: by Mark (new)

Mark don't know why this appeared on my GR bulletin again today but I am very pleased. It made me laugh again especially the request as to whether nipples have been sucked accidentally. I have to say that since the last reading of this great review no nipple has unwittingly passed my lips


message 78: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday i'm very sorry to hear that! yum, delicious nipples. even accidental nipple sucking sounds like a pleasant diversion to me.


Miriam Other Mark didn't say he hadn't sucked any nipples on purpose.


message 80: by Mark (new)

Mark Miriam wrote: "Other Mark didn't say he hadn't sucked any nipples on purpose."

lol. Now that would be telling


message 81: by MrsJoseph (new)

MrsJoseph mark wrote: "MrsJoseph wrote: "dammit mark! I was going to rec you a good romance. :-(

Plus, you look like you were having too much fun in that pic. nofunforu!"

ah, i found the comment that i was lookin..."


How did I miss this photo?? I love it! Now I need you to try patting your head and rubbing your belly while balancing the pillows. That would be awesome. :-)


ooh! I've been meaning to ask you...did you want a good romance or a bad romance?


message 82: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday ha, that's a recipe for those pillows to come tumbling down. can't do it!

i would like a good romance! or, less so, a bad romance that is a lot of fun but doesn't churn my insides in a bad way with lots of rapiness.


Miriam Those rapey ones make my insides churn, too. I wonder if the people who enjoy them don't feel that way, or if they like that feeling?


message 84: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday seeing your post reminded me that i still have to read The Talsiman Ring! i got that one a while back at Powell's when visitng Portland. it was slightly stomach-churning to be seen in the romance section, but i kept my head down and dealt with it.

i think maybe folks just don't feel that way (re. rapiness & feeling discomfort). at least that's the impression i got when i did a scan of bodice-rippin romance novel reviews, back when all those Skye O'Malley reviews were dropping left & right.


Miriam I think everyone I know was uncomfortable with Skye O'Malley, but that's kind of an extreme example what with raping of children with dogs etc which I assume devoutly hope was not supposed to be a turn on for the reader.


Lacey France This may be the best review ever. I know it's def the one that made me laugh loudest.


message 87: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday well thank you Lacey, glad you enjoyed it!


message 88: by Mwanamali (new)

Mwanamali Mari LMAO!


message 89: by mark (new) - rated it 1 star

mark monday :)


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