Clackamas's Reviews > The Book of the SubGenius

The Book of the SubGenius by SubGenius Foundation
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Apr 01, 08

bookshelves: religion-philosophy-new-age, humor
Recommended to Clackamas by: Ex's buddy John
Read in January, 1998

I'd totally forgotten about this book.

Background: I was a student at a conservative Quaker college in 1998.

During mid-semester break in the fall, I went out to Enterprise, Oregon with my friend Chris, a copy of my college’s lifestyle agreement, and a sharpie. The Challenge issued me by Chris was to spend the weekend with old and new friends away from the school just being myself instead of the person I was trying to force myself to be. He, in turn would mark off each lifestyle agreement I violated by simply behaving like Clack.

First, I met Chris at his Mom’s house. She is a minister of the Church of Inner Light and reads auras. She read mine as a preparation for the trip (violation 1- “no member shall participate in cult or occult activities”). I told her that I thought her “reading” of me was a crock of cr*p (violation 2- “avoid mean-spirited behaviors”). She took it well though because she’s cool like that. So, Chris and I set out.

Once in Enterprise we stayed with my former boyfriend (ehem. violation 3- “we believe that only marriage between a man and a woman is God's intention for the joyful fulfillment of sexual intimacy”). However, he and I had split on terms that weren’t the best so we were actually quite angry with each other (still violation 3- “this should always be in the context of mutual compassion, love, and fidelity”. Also violation 4- “avoid abusive or manipulative actions”).

Afterward, I got to meet his more recent ex (violation 5- “regard each person with love and respect” and 6- “avoid discrimination”). She was pretty p*ssed off because of course she was trying to get him back. She tried to make sure that I understood just how much better she was for him than I by showing me a tape she’d convinced him to make while they were together (violation 7- “we avoid giving attention to what is obscene and pornographic”). Frankly, I couldn’t see why she thought that’d convince me she was better.

The next day we went to Ex’s buddy John’s house where everyone was sitting around creating characters for an epic-level D&D game, drinking, and smoking. I joined in all activities listed (violations 8, 9, &10- “the use of alcohol by traditional undergraduate students is not allowed at any time they are enrolled at the university”, “presence or use of illegal drugs is not tolerated”, and “the use of tobacco is not permitted”).

John asked me how things were going and I gave him a few juicy details (violation 11- “avoid gossip”). When Ex asked what we were talking about, I said “nothing”, because I didn’t want him to know what a crotch his other ex had been to me (violation 12- “tell each other the truth”). I’m glad that I talked to John though, because he was a big help to me in creating my character for the game. He let me fudge the numbers to get a more powerful setup (violation 13- “do honest work”).

We played in the smoky room until early the next morning and then stumbled back to Ex’s place. I tripped on the way and hurt my leg. When we got back, he gave me some Percocet that he had left over from an old car accident (violation 14- illegitimate use of prescription drugs is not tolerated). It helped but I was dragging when it was time to get up. Fortunately for me, Ex was ADHD and had some stuff to perk me up too (violation 14 again). We just sat around that day playing cards (violation 15- “we avoid gambling”).

When Ex and I parted, we promised to keep in touch more, try to get together more often, etc. (violations 16 & 17- “honor each person” and “keep our promises”).

All in all, it was a fun, albeit personally instructive, weekend.

Oh yeah, about the book that I’m reviewing… Ex’s buddy John was ordained a minister of the Church of Subgenius and sent me home with a copy of the book.
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