Karla (Mossy Love Grotto)'s Reviews > Defiant Ecstasy

Defiant Ecstasy by Janelle Taylor
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For other reactions during this Buddy Read, see this review.

Defiant Ecstasy: The Short Version

Alisha: The men at the fort think I'm an Indian-loving whore and want to sleep with me, and the women think I'm an Indian-loving whore and want me to die.

Men At Fort: What an Indian-loving whore. We want to sleep with her.

Women At Fort: What an Indian-loving whore. Die in a fire.

Alisha: Oh, I am so hated! White people suck! *weeps beautifully* At least you, Powchutu, are my friend.

Powchutu: *pines*

Alisha: It's been 66 pages already. I guess we should stop recapping the last chapter of the last book and walk through that gate.

Powchutu: *follows*

Alisha: There's Gray Eagle, who would sack the fort if he didn't get me. Well, it's a sacrifice for me to go to a man who hates me, but what can I do? I wish he spoke English so he'd know how much I hate him and yet, oh yet!, love him.

Gray Eagle: LOL! She doesn't know I speak English. I know it like a native but I've managed to keep it a secret from everybody. It's all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Alisha: OMG, he's sacking the fort anyway! That evil asshole! Now we're riding towards his village. Let's eat a bunny and exchange heated and horny looks while I spill my guts. I wish he spoke English.

Gray Eagle: *LOLZ*

Alisha: Now we're in his village. They all hate me and that bitch Chela tried to stab me! Haven't I been through enough? *weeps with aching beauty* Oh Wanmdi Hota, koda wasichu winyan ska and other dialogue sprinkled with the same 6 Sioux words I know. When I'm not asking myself questions and agonizing over every little word or glance from Gray Eagle, I will blurt out everything important because no one will understand me.

Gray Eagle: *LOLZ* I'm going to send her mixed signals. But it's totally not my intention. I have this weird inability to convey the correct emotion at really important times, despite all my efforts.

Alisha: Why does he do this shit? God, it's like he knows what I'm saying! But that's, like, impossible so I won't think about it anymore. I want to jump his bones every other minute but then he pisses me off so much by acting like such an asshole. It's like he's doing this shit for LOLZ.

Gray Eagle: I wish she wouldn't get pissed off. I know I could have cleared everything up in the last book, but pride and honor dictate that I carry out my Cunning Plan™ to keep silent and let the Misunderstandings grow like a marshmallow in a microwave. Wow, weird. How do I know about stuff like that? Anyway, *LOLZ*

Me: Jesus Christ, will you just fucking speak English already??

Gray Eagle: Shit, another chief thinks Alisha is his daughter because of that tattoo on her ass and is going to take her away. She's terrified and thinks I'm selling her into slavery. She hates me more now. Damn, and the moment was almost right for me to tell her the truth but now it's too late. Again! Fate is so unkind to us. If she knows this tattoo thing is a lie, she'll blow her cover and they'll kill her. Bye, Alisha! I'll ride to your rescue but you must stay ignorant of the truth for a while longer. It's all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Alisha: Now I'm in the other village. Hey, that Brave Bear is HAWT! Let me giggle fetchingly. Oooh, and he is a non-threatening beta! I like that! Except why doesn't he jump my bones and ravish me? I miss Gray Eagle, that miserable, abusive fucker. I hate him! Soooooo glad I'm here now. Everyone's treating me nice, too! It's as if they thought I was the chief's daughter or something!

Gray Eagle: Chick is mine. You no can haz.

Brave Bear: Bring it!

Alisha: That asshole! I was just enjoying life again and then HE shows up! Shit, no! They're fighting! One will die and I love them both in different ways! I will rush in and try to stop it! I hate these Moments of Truth. I love Gray Eagle far more!

Gray Eagle: Thanks for the diversion, sweetcheeks. I won! Woot! Brave Bear, you can have that jealous skanky ho Chela who won't leave me alone and tried to kill my little lady.

Brave Bear: Sweet! Alisha's yours. No hard feelings, bro.

Alisha: What? I heard Chela's name in their conversation, so that must mean that Gray Eagle is going to screw both of us in the same teepee. Well, fuck that kinky shit! I'm outta here!

Powchutu: Bitch, you don't know your own mind. But Gray Eagle ain't no good for you, girl.

Alisha: That whole tattoo thing is bogus! Some old lady put it on me because the tattoo would fit perfectly over a scar I got as a little girl from landing on a rock when I got thrown by a horse! I have no proof, but it all makes sense!

Me: Wow, Janelle, you're pulling stuff out of your ass left and right here.

Alisha: If they find out I'm not the chief's daughter, they're going to kill me! I've got to get out of here!

Powchutu: If they find out you're not the chief's daughter, they're going to kill you. Let's get out of here!

Gray Eagle: If they find out she's not the chief's daughter, they're going to kill her. I'm going to let them get out of here!

Powchutu: Alisha, marry him and then we'll drug him that night and beat cheeks.

Alisha: You're on!

Gray Eagle: I love knowing English. I can eavesdrop and understand EVERYTHING.

Alisha: It's our wedding night and I've longed for it forever! But now I have to leave! Let's fuck one last time!

Gray Eagle: *licks & smooches*

Alisha: OMG, YES! I love you!

Gray Eagle: I will fake being drugged now before ravishing her.

Alisha: OMG, no! No no no! I shouldn't have drugged you! You fuck me now!

Gray Eagle: I will continue to pretend to be asleep. She loves me and I love her, but she must want to stay of her own free will. It's all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Alisha: Fate has been so unkind to us! Well, I've gotta go now. *leaves*

Gray Eagle: Damn, now I have to go after her. I can't say anything now. I have to confess when we're alone together on the prairie. It's all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Alisha: I'm out here on the prairie, unable to tell East from West and confident I can survive out here 3 days on my own until I rendezvous with Powchutu. So glad I'm not with Gray Eagle, though I wish I was with him now.

Gray Eagle: *looms*

Alisha: Waaaaaah! I'll never escape you! Never! It's like you know English and heard EVERYTHING!

Gray Eagle: I do know English. I heard everything.

Alisha: You asshole!

Gray Eagle: *LOLZ* I'm going to let her blow off steam. It's all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Alisha: I hate you!

Gray Eagle: Let me recap everything that has happened in the past two books and tell you what I was thinking and my motives and how it was all part of my Cunning Plan™.

Me: Do I have to hear all this again?

Gray Eagle: Do you remember this? And this? And that?

Alisha: I do! I do! And do you remember this? And that? And this?

Gray Eagle: And that time when....

Me: Christ on a cracker, now that he's speaking English will he ever shut the fuck up?



Gray Eagle: Since you're white and not a chief's daughter, we'll have to live a lie for my tribe.

Alisha: You're on! You can count on me! I'm consistently reliable!

Me: Oh, I don't foresee ANY complications in that Cunning Plan™.


Final Words:
My advice? Don't play a drinking game with this book. It will not end well.



Everything is overdone in it. The internal dialogues, the foreshadowing, the big misunderstandings, the idiotic plot contrivances and conveniences, the boringly laborious plodding of all the characters' thoughts and actions, the abuse of questions marks. Everything. It wasn't inept in a fun way. It was boring and homicidally aggravating. How this got past an editor is anybody's guess. NOTHING HAPPENS. The entire "plot" is propelled by a misunderstanding that could be cleared up with 3 words: "I speak English." When THAT is what's keeping the conflict going? Umm yeah, well, you have a shitty, pointless book.

There are only 2 action scenes - a fort sacking that takes place off-page and the fight between Gray Eagle and Brave Bear. Everything else is internal dialogue and swathes of dialogue that are often delivered in long paragraphs like someone delivering a speech. Excruciating.

And Janelle Taylor did the unthinkable. She took a hero who was the only saving grace of the previous book and made him, in the words of another reviewer here, someone I "wanted to punch in the junk." He and his Cunning Plan™ that required he stay silent at every important plot point really took the cake. Then he'd agonize about his inability to do anything except follow his plan a bit longer as things got worse and worse.

Arrrgh, I'm glad this is over. I have the rest of the series and I will read them because they are fast reads and, against all my better judgment, I want to see what other idiotic nothings Alisha and Gray Eagle and their spawn get up to. But they are not examples of competent storytelling and are almost stunning in terms of bland, mediocre writing.

0 stars and a ruthless kick into Leonidas' Backyard Bottomless Pit.
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Reading Progress

01/24/2012 page 32
7.0% "I wish Janelle's characters would speak in less than 3/4 page paragraphs. :-\"
01/24/2012 page 50
11.0% "I'm glad there's this hugeass long recap chapter of the end of the last book because I don't remember jack squat of the last 1/3rd of Savage Ecstasy." 2 comments
01/24/2012 page 67
15.0% "Oh little Sis, you were so right. The interior dialogue is even more laboriously repetitious in this one. O__o

One chapter down, 8 more to go...

" 7 comments
01/25/2012 page 120
26.0% "So, let's recap:
CHAPTER 1: Alisha leaves the fort. (66 pages)
CHAPTER 2: Alisha & Gray Eagle RIDE AWAY from the fort, they smooch, they eat a bunny, they have sex, they have sex again, they go to his village, they eat, they swim, they have sex, Alisha has a big ol' Dream of Foreshadow. (52 pages)

This is gonna be a loooooooooonnnggg book.

" 4 comments
01/25/2012 page 150
32.0% "Is it too early to be thinking "1 star"? :P" 4 comments
01/25/2012 page 204
44.0% "Is it too much to hope for a village massacre or two to get rid of some characters? It would be easy to do. Everyone's eyes are focused exclusively on their belly buttons."
01/25/2012 page 217
47.0% "The birthmark on Alisha's butt has landed her in another village & now she's at liberty to giggle with the beta Brave Bear and learn about nuts & berries aka generic filler. *checks watch*" 2 comments
01/25/2012 page 231
50.0% "WOOHOO! I'm halfway through!
" 9 comments
01/26/2012 page 318
69.0% "I could scribble the plot of this on one of my kitty's toe pads. Nothing has friggin' happened and nothing continues to friggin' happen.
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01/27/2012 page 364
79.0% ""If Gray Eagle knew any of her tongue, she would have guessed it by now, for he would surely have reacted to some of her words by now."

This book never saw an editor, did it?

"
01/27/2012 page 394
85.0% ""He fought the intense urge to go in to her & confess all, but was certain she was not ready to believe & accept his words. ...He cursed what his silence was costing them both."

" 2 comments
01/27/2012 page 462
100.0% "Yay! It's over!

"

Comments (showing 1-50 of 50) (50 new)

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Kerrie Just re-read your review of the first book. My my, sounds like Alisha and Melanie could have a Perfection contest!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Oh, you have no idea! :D I WILL read this one, but consider my standards considerably lowered in order to enjoy it.


Kerrie OK... finally. Awaiting some status updates. :D


Kerrie Wow, it looks like the only thing I've got left to read is the frigging recap of all the boringass shit I've just suffered through!

Great review and perfectly encapsulates this stinky giant turd. :D


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) The recap goes on FOREVER! He talks for something like 4 pages straight with brief interruptions from Speshul Snowflake. No lie.


message 6: by Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~* (last edited Jan 27, 2012 12:06PM) (new) - added it

Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~* LMAO!!! You are priceless! 1 star for the book..5 stars for the review!! Now arent I glad I downloaded them all to re-read? Yes indeedy :)


message 7: by Rachel (BAVR) (new)

Rachel (BAVR) This review is the best thing I've read all day. I swear to God, you should just bind this in the cover of the book so people won't have to suffer through the actual story.


message 8: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (last edited Jan 27, 2012 12:11PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Sandi, I'd LOVE to know what you think of this one. :D

Glad to make your day, Rachel. :D Writing this was a well-spent 2 1/2 hours. Can't say the same for the 5 days spent reading the book.


Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~* Oh Ive read all of these waaayyyyy back..had all the orginial books but gave them away due to the covers didnt match her hair(yes a peeve of mine)but I could have sworn..I loved these books *ducks as Karla throws the book* :) But hey..that was so long ago..since I cant rememeber..guess Im in for a treat.


message 10: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (last edited Jan 27, 2012 12:23PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I *literally* bashed the book against my forehead at yet another "I must remain silent because it's for her own good" laments of Gray Eagle's. It annoyed me THAT much. I rarely inflict physical pain on myself. Mental, sure. :P

I think some of the high ratings for this one are through a haze of nostalgia, because it really is a shittily-written book. I never took Reading Comprehension in school to recognize good writing from bad and analyze mechanics and such smrt stuff, but like porn, I know it when I see it. :P


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Which is why I haven't rated romances I last read in high school. I don't trust my memory at all. :P


message 12: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Love the new Leonidas shelf. >:D Too bad the brain-cell-diarrhea shelf is getting a workout these past few books.

Alisha: That whole tattoo thing is bogus! Some old lady put it on me because the tattoo would fit perfectly over a scar I got as a little girl from landing on a rock when I got thrown by a horse! I have no proof, but it all makes sense!

As Gray Eagle kept saying: LOLZ.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Oh that tattoo bit was a peach. From the moment the whole thing entered the story, I said, "That old woman put it on your ass as a way to get back into her old tribe since she got booted out when the chief's daughter got abducted as a baby. So she slapped it on your butt and is passing you off!" And then, lo, about 200 pages later that's exactly what it turns out to be. Duh.


message 14: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Ugh, I HATE guessing twists too far ahead! That's why I try not to think about it too much whilst reading.

"That old woman put it on your ass as a way to get back into her old tribe since she got booted out when the chief's daughter got abducted as a baby. So she slapped it on your butt and is passing you off!"

I just love that we're having a serious discussion about a book that includes such a plot device. *snort*


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) It was a little hard NOT to guess that one. :P And of course Alisha would have known about it way earlier if Gray Eagle had said something, but as I think my review made clear ;) the fact that he keeps mum all the time is the only thing that makes the "plot" move stagger along.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Thanks, and I have NO IDEA.

Sis called me from the Goodwill last night and said she was looking at another Janelle book and there were the questions again... :P I'm really gonna have to have a long talk with myself about why I'm not pitching her books and Johanna Lindsey's as well.


Kerrie As I opened that book (Chase The Wind) I was hoping not to find those internal questions, but there they were... at least twice on each page in nice and easy-to-find italics. Unless I have a lobotomy, I don't think I'll read another one of her books again.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I looked thru a couple in the basement and found less than I expected. So I haven't learned yet. :D


Kerrie I just realized that if you wanted to perform a self-lobotomy, reading her books would be the cheapest way. :D


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I've got enough to reduce myself to gibbering idiocy. Score!


message 21: by The UHQ Nasanta (new)

The UHQ Nasanta "Gray Eagle: Chick is mine. You no can haz.

Brave Bear: Bring it! "

*giggles*

Wow. Although the summary was funny, it was so painful to read! I'm amazed you got through the real version. Thanks for the review!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Thanks, Niq. Yes, it was indeed painful. :D


message 23: by Verity (new)

Verity Your painful reads make da best reviews ! Glad U read it, made my day B^P


message 24: by Sanya (new)

Sanya LLOOOOLLL!! You're great. I needed a good laugh ;)


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Thanks, Sanya. :)


message 26: by Sharon (new)

Sharon I'm almost tempted to hunt down this book so I can discover Gray Eagle's "Cunning Plan".

Was it truly Cunning?


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I think he was wrapped up in it for so long that the thought of not following the plan became unthinkable. :P

In Book 1 I could see him as a real take-charge badass chief. In this one, he really was a hand-wringing limpdick. "But...but....I must follow my plan even though everything's going to hell and I'm only making it worse!" WTF.


message 28: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Oh. Well, won't be hunting this one down. Thanks.

Limpdick heroes, I can't do.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I guess maybe he's SO in love with her and he wants to have total control over everything and do it HIS WAY, but it didn't come across that way.


message 30: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Too bad. He was a perfectly good character in the first book.

Taylor committed the ultimate "faux pas" it looks like.

Just can't count on her.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I'm a sucker and will keep reading her books, though. :D


message 32: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I'm a sucker and will keep reading her books, though. :D"

Ah Karla, you ain't no sucka.

I'm the sucker. I keep picking up Anne Stuart's books when I see them. I've come to the conclusion she ought to write for Marvel Comics.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) LOL! I've got plenty of Anne Stuart on my ereader. I'm surprised it didn't go on strike. Why do I have them? Sick, self-abusive puppy. *sad face*


message 34: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Well, I've been wading through To Love a Dark Lord for the past week. Talk about self-abusive. Barely touches the scale of SLIGHTLY entertaining. After that, I'll read her Ritual Sins...then I am done and the rest of her books I've accumulated are going...going...gone.


message 35: by Katie(babs) (new)

Katie(babs) When I was 14 I ate this series up. The abuse Aliaha suffered was so horrible but I loved it. The I re-read these books 10 years later and was like, WTF was I thinking as a teen?!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) That's been the story of my return trip to Johanna Lindsey. :P


message 37: by Katie(babs) (new)

Katie(babs) Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "That's been the story of my return trip to Johanna Lindsey. :P"

OMG did you ever read Viking by Lindsey where the rapist hero viking spots the naked heroine by the lake and because she's swimming naked he think she deserves to be raped by him?


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Sharon wrote: "Well, I've been wading through To Love a Dark Lord for the past week. Talk about self-abusive. Barely touches the scale of SLIGHTLY entertaining. After that, I'll read her [book:Rit..."

Slow going? I've heard that the hero at the end is all baskets of kittens after being an a-hole for the whole story. Ohhhh, I'm sure I'll read it sometime just to see for myself, but yeah, I don't think that Anne Stuart is ever going to make her way onto my Best Authors list, or even Best Worst Authors. She hasn't been bad in a fun way...yet.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Katie(babs) wrote: "Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "That's been the story of my return trip to Johanna Lindsey. :P"

OMG did you ever read Viking by Lindsey where the rapist hero viking spots the naked heroine by th..."


I probably did back in high school, but I've forgotten it. Her Viking series was going to be the next ones I attempted.


message 40: by Sharon (last edited Jan 31, 2012 02:15PM) (new)

Sharon Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "...Slow going? I've heard that the hero at the end is all baskets of kittens after being an a-hole for the whole story"

Snails pace.

Stuart really tries to paint him a dark, bad, dangerous ass hole...but, she failed. Too much internal dialogue going on with his 'other wussy self' to buy it. God love her, she tries ...but instead makes a big fat limp dick mess of contradictions.
Half way through...and have to talk myself into keep reading..so there you have it....(edit) the man has a split personality.


message 41: by Katie(babs) (new)

Katie(babs) Sharon wrote: "Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "...Slow going? I've heard that the hero at the end is all baskets of kittens after being an a-hole for the whole story"

Snails pace.

Stuart really tries to paint..."


it has to best rainbow and puppy dog epilogue in the history of historical romance!


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Katie, isn't it something like married with 8 kids and they're running Green Acres?


message 43: by Sharon (new)

Sharon ♥ Cheshire Catt ♠ wrote: "But, but I like Anne Stuart - heheheheh -"

Well Jeanine, I want you to know that Anne Stuart came thru for me in the end. After wading through half this story...finally I can say she did a good job making it worth the trip during the 2nd half.

Ahhh


message 44: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Walton Grant Did someone say Anne Stuart????? :P

Absolutely hilarious review!!! You must do more recaps like this (but no more Grey Eagle, the brain damage might be permanent).


message 45: by Twiggy (new)

Twiggy Priceless! Lol


message 46: by Willow (last edited May 08, 2012 06:16AM) (new)

Willow ROFL! Your reviews are so funny! I want to send you my worst books and have you review them. That would be too cruel though.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Thank you for keeping that sadistic tendency of yours in check. :D


message 48: by Willow (last edited May 08, 2012 06:18AM) (new)

Willow Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Thank you for keeping that sadistic tendency of yours in check. :D"

Anything for you, Karla. :D


message 49: by mark (new)

mark monday and another brilliant review. i should probably lay off of all the compliments, it is probably getting creepy. BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. these reviews are hilarious!

"Cunning Plan™"... awesome.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Oh no, keep 'em coming. I insist. :D


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