Emily's Reviews > The Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye by Meghan O'Rourke
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Aug 02, 11

Read from July 25 to August 01, 2011

Well, this will probably be a long post, so beware. But there were so many things in this book that rang true to me. It was very hard to read, and at times I had to put it down to have a good cry. I wanted to write down several of the things that meant something to me so that I can look back and remember. These are things that I truly feel:
"To this day, I pace the floor feeling off-kilter, thinking, I need something; What is it? And I realize: My Mother." How true this really is to me.
"I am hit by a feeling of error, a sense that during my twenties, when I thought my mother never quite understood me, it was I who saw her incompletely." This is a pain I will live with for the rest of my life. I have felt so jipped since my mother passed away. I feel like I never had the chance to have that "real" adult relationship with her. I will regret this forever.
"In his heart of hearts he often believes that the dead do not return yet he is committed to the task of recovering one who is dead. It is no wonder that he feels that the world has lost its purpose, and no longer makes sense."
"In those weeks after my mother's death, I felt that the world expected me to absorb the loss and move forward, like some kind of emotional warrior." I still feel like this today....
"When people stop mentioning the dead persons name to you, the silence can seem worse than the pain of hearing those familiar, beloved syllables."
And this is the one I think hit me the most:
"THE MOMENT WHEN I FLASH UPON MY MOTHER'S SMILE AND FACE AND REALIZE SHE IS DEAD, I EXPERIENCE THE SAME LURCH, THE SAME CONFUSION, THE SAME SENSE OF IMPOSSIBILITY. A YEAR AGO COLLAPSES INTO YESTERDAY IN THESE MOMENTS. PERIODICALLY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, MY MOTHER'S DEATH WILL SEEM LIKE IT TOOK PLACE YESTERDAY."
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Comments (showing 1-4 of 4) (4 new)

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message 1: by Lisa (new) - added it

Lisa I think I am putting off reading this book on purpose. It seems so difficult sometimes to face some of those emotions. These quotes rang true to me, too.


message 2: by Auntie Mand (new) - added it

Auntie Mand I really want to read this book but I'm not sure I should at this time. I lost my mother eight years ago this month and I've wept more this year than any years prior. I agree with you Emily, I feel jipped as well. I need that adult relationship with her now. I need to know things, to ask her questions, to tell her about my life.


Julie Count me among those who feel cheated. It's been 10 years since I lost my mother. I have two children who will never meet her and a third who loved her deeply, but doesn't remember doing so. It just sucks, and it doesn't stop. Hugs to all of you.


Betsy Westhoff Thank you. I love this book and have also underlined passages that I am going back to revisit.
I also have picke up Hamlet and other books she refers to to further my knowledge ...


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