Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish)'s Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Jul 25, 14

bookshelves: flounce, pathetic-and-or-stupid-female-lead, wtf-is-this, caused-me-rage, disappointing, lurking-pedobear, ugh-first-person, speshul-snowflake, judging-you, i-hope-the-mayans-were-right, apparently-theft-is-okay, lowest-common-denominator, we-deserve-the-apocalypse, wtf-is-wrong-with-you-people, trees-died-for-this-crap, supports-theft-rh, chris-brown-would-be-proud, this-is-not-a-romance, male-lead-who-needs-a-junk-punch, me-and-ranty-mcgee, drank-the-haterade, author-needs-a-muzzle, not-for-realreal-just-for-playplay, curiosity-killed-the-cat, my-masochism-is-not-the-sexy-kind, ftlog-stop-calling-it-her-sex
Recommended to Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) by: I'm actually still talking to her.
Recommended for: Coma patients, no wait, they have enough problems.

See below for Master of the Universe Fifty Shades of Grey: A Summary. I read this trash so you don't have to.


This was a poorly written, utterly ridiculous, never ending mess as a fan fiction. The speed with which they "published" this indicates that they merely conducted a find and replace on the names and did not put in a good faith edit or rewrite the highly problematic storylines (read: the entire thing). The writing is insipid and juvenile. The characters are static, one dimensional, and unbelievably vacuous. (And also sound suspiciously and consistently British though they are supposed to be American.) In addition to the theft of intellectual property committed here it is not worth your time. If you like reading about incredibly stupid women, females being treated like the family pet in a relationship and marriage (outside of the poorly executed initial BDSM relationship), and no character development do a Google search for "Master of the Universe" and you'll find a residual copy of the original floating around. Save yourself the money and don't reward this unethical enterprise.

Added: A summary of Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe.

Written to save a friend the . . . effort. . . of reading this – may my brain's sacrifice not be in vain. This story is not original fiction, therefore names will not be changed from the original as I will not protect this author or her "publisher."
*Language Warning*


(view spoiler)
–––
My Fifty Shades Darker review.
My Fifty Shades Freed review.
My review of the Bundle. It includes some important points I didn't include in these reviews.
Links of Interest
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Comments (showing 301-350 of 923) (923 new)


message 301: by Helen (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen I agree with you on the BDSM issue.

Miki wrote: "And I'm sure when Vintage went through and did their edit, aside from cleaning up the prose, they probably asked her to change some things to differ Fifty from MotU, and consequently Twilight."
No, they didn't. I skimmed through both and the only real change is that they cut off in the middle of MoTU - the rest to be stretched over sequels, I guess. James also added a few more lines. That's all.

Regarding P2P fanfic...I don't know. I've read fanfics that have little to do with the original. Sometimes they only use the world. Or use only the names and looks of the characters. Most have different plots and relationships from the original. Those can be reworked and published, I believe. Mind you, it would take a lot of the work - mainly, salvage the plot and make your own characters/world. However, MotU is not one of them - and sadly, neither is any other I saw published so far.

There is a matter of legality...but as far as ethics goes, what's the difference between this and many Pride and Prejudice or Phantom of the Opera sequels? The fact that author is dead and copyright expired? I guess it depends on the personal beliefs, but money doesn't play a big role for me when it comes to the literature. Sorry authors. For me, it's about the spirit.

Now this sounds like I'm defending James. I'm not. Bella is a relatively bland character and she could have easily replaced her with the original one. She didn't even have the decency to remove the "clumsiness" that doesn't really play such a big role. Or change Edward's family a little. There are small details that could have gone a long way. But the real delabreaker is her attitude. We have discovered what she thinks about fandom, despite the fact that it made her popular in the first place. She also has no remorse whatever about the fact that she is publishing one. And, like I said, was too lazy to try and make it more original. Her behaviour is despicable.

And while I wrote parodies and fanfiction on the internet, I wouldn't publish them. I personally wouldn't feel right earning money and fame based on something I didn't think of by myself. But I understand my opinion is in the minority.


message 302: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Helen wrote: "And while I wrote parodies and fanfiction on the internet, I wouldn't publish them. I personally wouldn't feel right earning money and fame based on something I didn't think of by myself. But I understand my opinion is in the minority."

I understand that attitude and share it, for the most part. If I decide to P2P any of my own fanfic, it would be the Homeric Trojan War stuff. I don't feel like I'm infringing too much on another's intellectual property by going in that direction. :P

P&P and Phantom of the Opera, while legally out of copyright, still feels too constricted by the original source material so all the sequels and prequels still feel like fanfiction rather than creative interpretation.


message 303: by Helen (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Helen wrote: "And while I wrote parodies and fanfiction on the internet, I wouldn't publish them. I personally wouldn't feel right earning money and fame based on something I didn't think of by mys..."

While we attribute the writings to Homer, we cannot be sure how much of it was his own. He did write it down in a particular form, but a lot of it is inspired by legends and myths, which are everyone's property.

To say nothing about whether Homer even existed...

Like you said, most of the other books are too constrictive. And those "sequels/prequels" aren't even "inspired by" - they are straight-up fanfiction. "Phantom of Manhattan" wanted to bring together Erik and Christine, many for P&P because for some reason many girls swoon over Mr. Darcy etc.


message 304: by Muse (new) - rated it 1 star

Muse Here The thing that really bothers me is that he threw it in a nearby toilet. I mean, seriously? Aren't there signs EVERYWHERE saying NEVER to flush those things?!?!?


message 305: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Helen wrote: "While we attribute the writings to Homer, we cannot be sure how much of it was his own. He did write it down in a particular form, but a lot of it is inspired by legends and myths, which are everyone's property."

Exactly. Which is why my conscience isn't twinging me at all as I look askance at my fanfiction in that fandom.

@ Muse: LOL! Yeah, when I read that scene my first thought was, "Oh, I bet Mr. Fabulous 50 wasn't the one to fish it out!"


message 306: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki @Karla and Helen, How I see things, fics are fun. Sometimes it helps some people to use someone else's characters as place holders while they work on things like plot. But then if they want to use the story as their own, they have to go back at some point and take out the place holders and work their own characters into the story. As far as I'm concerned, writing fic helps me hone my craft, but if I'm going to put so much time and energy into a story that I want to one day publish, I'd rather it be wholly mine and not tainted by someone else's work.

@Muse I never even thought of that, I was far too squicked by him pulling it out in the first place. I read the rest through my fingers.


message 307: by Helen (last edited Apr 03, 2012 08:51AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen @ Muse: LOL! So true.
But at least he didn't make Ana fish it out. While he's "pounding into her from behind"...
(sometimes, my mind scares me)
(on the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised to see that scene)

ETA:
@ Miki: Exactly. Though in Karla's case, it would be kind of a historical fiction, so it should be okay...


message 308: by Karla (last edited Apr 03, 2012 09:17AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla @Miki: Exactly. Even though I used some "place holders" from the movie Troy, my intent - should I P2P - would be to go back through that and change the things that refer specifically to elements in the movie and revise the hell out of it anyway. Having the story still be AU a bit in relation to Homer isn't a no-no. No author who has written a novel about the Trojan War has adhered completely to the "accepted" legend. Like Helen said, the original canon is a collective affair anyway and contradicts each other all the time.

To my advantage is that I wrote outside the events of the movie anyway and made up scenes and a plot out of whole cloth, using little movie canon.

Fics are DEFINITELY fun. I'm getting warm & fuzzy nostalgia just thinking about the fun I had writing it. :)


message 309: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki @Karla Must say, I'm impressed, just from the sounds of things. Homer I have a difficult time seeing as an author, but more as a resource. Good luck!


message 310: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Now it all comes down to mental acuity and motivation on my part. I love to read too much & writing has gotten backseated. LOL


message 312: by EowynRN (new) - rated it 1 star

EowynRN Man I wish I would have read this before I read the first two books. I've wizened up though, and will not read the last one.


message 313: by Muse (new) - rated it 1 star

Muse Here who needs to read the book, when we have the play by play right here?


message 314: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki Or, better yet, who needs to read the book period? (Not to diminish Alicia's hilarious post.)


message 315: by Tracy (new)

Tracy OMG this review was so funny I almost peed. The tampon...WTF!!!!!!!


message 316: by [deleted user] (new)

Lol, you know, the tampon thing keeps coming up, but given the general descriptions of the content of the... book?, I don't find that particularly horrifying. But then again, I don't care much whether I'm on my period if there is trust. I find all the hubbub that bit has caused funny. The general mass (mess?) though is contemptible.


message 317: by Helen (last edited Apr 05, 2012 07:55AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Zanahoria (Taly) wrote: "Lol, you know, the tampon thing keeps coming up, but given the general descriptions of the content of the... book?, I don't find that particularly horrifying. But then again, I don't care much whet..."

The problem I had with the tampon is that it's kind of too technical and ruins the mood. And, like somebody said, why toss it in the toilet? Is that supposed to show his rebellious side, breaking both the "taboo" of screwing a woman on period (which is so last century) and even bigger taboo of throwing tampons into toilet in one fell swoop?
Why mention it at all? It's just too IKEA erotica for me.


message 318: by [deleted user] (new)

Helen wrote: "Zanahoria (Taly) wrote: "Lol, you know, the tampon thing keeps coming up, but given the general descriptions of the content of the... book?, I don't find that particularly horrifying. But then agai..."

Lol, yeah, the surround does seem extremely stupid.
Ikea erotica: TV tropes will ruin your life
"So last century" was exactly what I was thinking.


message 319: by Theresa (new)

Theresa Wait... are you saying this E.L.James totally plagerized the book?


message 320: by Tishke (new) - rated it 1 star

Tishke Helen wrote: And then she wrote sequels which expanded on the story even more.

The two sequels were all part of the original MOTU. When Fan Fiction told her to either clean her story or they would remove it, she wisely decided to keep it on FF because of the number of reviews and clean it up. Snowqueens Icedragon AKA James moved the original story and updates to a blog site. Her story was about 150+ chapters. For publishing purposes, they divided it in 3 books. It was published April 28th 2011 by the writers coffee shop publishing house. They publish mostly twilighted Fan Fictions after making the authors change the character names.


message 321: by Helen (last edited Apr 05, 2012 11:34PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Tishke wrote: "Helen wrote: And then she wrote sequels which expanded on the story even more.

The two sequels were all part of the original MOTU. When Fan Fiction told her to either clean her story or they would..."


I know now. I only compared the endings at the point I made that comment, skimming through both works. Then a couple of days back I decided to check how far they are identical towards the end and realised she just split MotU. But thanks!


message 322: by Miki (new) - rated it 1 star

Miki Theresa wrote: "Wait... are you saying this E.L.James totally plagerized the book?"

Depends on your definition, I guess. In that she stole the idea of Twilight from Meyer and didn't bother doing much to hide it, yes. In that she took the exact words someone else wrote and presented them as her own, no.


message 323: by Helen (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Miki wrote: "Theresa wrote: "Wait... are you saying this E.L.James totally plagerized the book?"

Depends on your definition, I guess. In that she stole the idea of Twilight from Meyer and didn't bother doing m..."


*sigh* She didn't exactly "steal Twilight". She did take characters (and most of their relationships) from Twilight, but she made more-or-less her own plot (so far) as far as the events go. And there is no supernatural.
I'm sorry, but I think a significant part of what makes "Twilight" are vampires and werewolves, and there is none of them here. If you take them away, Twilight is no more than yet another formulaic romance, and SMeyer hardly has monopoly on it.
And James can't plagiarise herself. She did more-or-less publish her fanfic word-for-word.


message 324: by Muse (new) - rated it 1 star

Muse Here I write fanfiction based on Twilight. I take my stories that I have floating around my many, many notebooks and use SMeyer's characters to bring them to life and put them on that site.
However, if I were to finish one and then publish it, I would go back and change not only their names, eye colors and physical traits, but I would also change their mannerisms.
I think that's what has everyone so upset. Her main characters are almost identical in looks and mannerism's to SMeyer's characters. I have read fanfics turned into published novels, where I can definitely identify the characters (simply because I remember it on fanfic) but they don't look the same and they act differently. So instead of the Edward guy being an "Adonis in the flesh" he becomes "nicely honed abs" and such things. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/77... an excellent example of how to use fanfic to get your own novel published and I aspire to do such a fabulous job.
In my opinion, James got a little lazy after all that writing and never went back and made her characters her own. Edward with the same messy, copper hair is still a controlling manipulative guy with abusive tendencies. And Bella with her long, brown locks, is still unsure of herself and still a major klutz.
No, SMeyer doesn't have a monopoly on romance, but I think those characters are more hers than they are James'. She could have just as easily changed a few key points as she did the eye colors and then it would have been more of an original work of art, rather than her story, using someone else's characters.


message 325: by Helen (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Muse wrote: "I write fanfiction based on Twilight. I take my stories that I have floating around my many, many notebooks and use SMeyer's characters to bring them to life and put them on that site.
However, ..."


That's exactly what I meant. She stole the characters. If she but altered them a bit, there would be no problems. Why did Ana have to be clumsy and have divorced parents? Why did Christian have to play piano and have a brother and sister? Why did the equivalent of Emmett and Rosalie have to get together? All easily fixed. "Lazy" sounds right.


message 326: by Muse (new) - rated it 1 star

Muse Here As I recall, Emmett & Rosalie (I mean their clones of course) had to get together for legitimate plot reasons, though I could be mistaken. I'm not even 100% sure that I've read this one and since it's no longer there, I can't double check. :( I do not have the book yet, though I am planning on getting and look forward to reading it, since the entire thing is completely my kind of story (I enjoy reading about abusive relationships) probably because I was in one for so long. But I digress...Even if she was simply eager and excited and possibly short on time, it is a disappointment that she didn't make the story more hers. Though, I have to admit, I read E/B fanfics in between every novel I read, simply because I do love their characters so much. So, I can appreciate her laziness, but I feel let down that she didn't give it her all. I don't think it would have taken much effort because she could of used a processor to scout out certain overused words, such as klutz and then just change a word, or sentence or in some cases paragraph. I think it's great that she got her fanfic published, I just wish it was more her own.


message 327: by Helen (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen Muse wrote: "As I recall, Emmett & Rosalie (I mean their clones of course) had to get together for legitimate plot reasons, though I could be mistaken. I'm not even 100% sure that I've read this one and since ..."

Yes, it's not too bad a piece of writing for erotica, and I think she did her research on BDSM culture. Still, did the pairing have to be Emmett and Rosalie? Why not Emmett and someone else? Why did those two characters even exist? Why not make Bella a journalist in the first place? Make Rosalie end up with Jacob?

I sincerely hope that "Jose" doesn't end up with "Christian's" and "Ana's" daughter.

Like you said, she should have taken more effort and tried to actually revise and rewrite it.


message 328: by Lauren (new) - rated it 1 star

Lauren OOOOOOOH MYYYY GOSH. This is hilarious. I'm at work and literally laughed out loud numerous times. I especially enjoyed this part: Bella: But but but but
Edward: OMFG, SHUT UP AND DO ME.
Bella: OKAY.
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]

HIL-arious. Fabulous review. Seriously saved me lots of reading. hahahah


Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) So, okay, I've missed a lot (I didn't want to write up long things on my iPad and now that I'm back in front of my laptop a lot has happened). So I'll respond quickly.

First and foremost, if I haven't made it explicitly clear I am completely against publishing fan fiction. From a moral, ethical, and legal standpoint. Even rewritten I don't support it. Once fan fiction, always fan fiction. Passion Fish was a Twilight fanfic by the same name and had no business being "published." It's just as wrong. Unlike many people I've seen I don't play favorites, I don't differentiate. However an author goes about doing it, it's wrong. It's unethical. It should not be done. (Just with SQID she adds to the ire because she's such a heinous human being on top of being unethical, amoral, etc.) If you wrote one story, you can write another. Do that, be original, and you won't deserve to have this stigma attached to you.

I won't get into the legalities of it again, because really it doesn't matter until someone with standing takes someone to court. SM could have and, as I and other lawyers have pointed out, it would have likely passed summary judgment and made it to trial. There are a ton of similarities between MOTU and Twilight (to name a few).

If the original work is in the public domain, I don't have as much of a problem with it. It's lazy, but hopefully you're going to do something awesome with it.

@Theresa: No. I never used the word "plagiarized." I don't remember enough of the story to know whether or not she used exact lines from Twilight in the story and left them. Copyright infringement doesn't necessarily mean plagiarism. She took Stephanie Meyer's characters and everything that made them who they are (except the vampire thing, which isn't copyrightable anyway and that isn't the only thing that makes the characters who they are) as well as several plot points from the books. Here's a primer on plagiarism vs. copyright infringement.

Thank you to everyone who commented liking my review! I'm always glad I can make people laugh and hopefully prevent anyone from buying this blight on society.


Meredith Barrons Loved your review! Hilarious!!!!!! : )


message 331: by Ann32 (new) - added it

Ann32 Well written review. Saved quite some time with your recap of the story so tyvm for stopping me from reading this book and for the five minutes of laughter.


message 332: by Lara (new) - rated it 1 star

Lara Kleinschroth I was going to write a review, but see that you've provided the exact same one, so now no need ~ thank you!


message 333: by Emily (new) - rated it 1 star

Emily This review is flawless and apt. The tags are killing me too. <3


Catherine That was a bloody good spoiler summary


message 335: by Wei (new)

Wei Cho Ugh, I feel disgusted by the tenfold. What the fuck is wrong with fiction!!! And worst of all, someone please save those who enjoyed this book! D:


message 336: by Tammy (new) - added it

Tammy L.M.A.O. LOVE it!!! That was so much more entertaining and painless than reading the last two books!! Thanks!


message 337: by Karalynn (new)

Karalynn Jeez?! You didn't like the story? Jeez, why not? Jeez! Jeez! (ps your rewrite is brilliant)


message 338: by Xdyj (last edited Apr 18, 2012 05:48PM) (new) - added it

Xdyj Just out of curiosity I checked out the original fanfic and imho there are some far better fanfics with good characterization, good writing & more depth out there that are way more worth publishing than this.


Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) @Ann32: Glad I saved you from reading it (and giving these thieves any more money)!

@Lara, Jannie, Emily, Catharine: Love seeing so many 1 stars. I'm glad you liked the review (and the tags)!

@C.S.: Trust me, my disgust and anger about this has pretty much hit the stratosphere. Between the support of theft and how just plain awful this fic is I just can't believe this world anymore.

@Tammy and Karalynn: Holy cow! Thanks!

@Xdyj: No fan fiction should be published. But, yes, if someone were going to do something so unethical and immoral, there are fics out there that really can contend with well-written books. There is absolutely no excuse that something this terrible is so liked.


message 340: by Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) (last edited Apr 18, 2012 04:35PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) God, this is out of fucking control. There is no integrity left in this world.

If you hear of a woman on the east coast spontaneously combusting – that would be me.


PoisonCupcakes Alicia wrote: "God, this is out of fucking control. There is no integrity left in this world.

If you hear of a woman on the east coast spontaneously combusting – that would be me."


Holy crap, I don't want to live in this country anymore. Hell, I don't want to live on this PLANET anymore. My respect for "Time" just plummted down to the earth's core.


message 342: by rameau (new) - added it

rameau Alicia wrote: "God, this is out of fucking control. There is no integrity left in this world.

If you hear of a woman on the east coast spontaneously combusting – that would be me."


You know, the European in me is cackling that she's doing this to Americans. Then I remember she's British and I want to put my head through the wall.


message 343: by Helen (last edited Apr 18, 2012 10:09PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen rameau wrote: "You know, the European in me is cackling that she's doing this to Americans. Then I remember she's British and I want to put my head through the wall. "

Talk about British invasion...

Note, however, that this is happening on the US market. /European chauvinism


message 344: by rameau (new) - added it

rameau Helen wrote: "rameau wrote: "You know, the European in me is cackling that she's doing this to Americans. Then I remember she's British and I want to put my head through the wall. "

Talk about British invasio..."


I don't think a tea party is going to cut it this time.


Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) PoisonCupcakes wrote: "Holy crap, I don't want to live in this country anymore. Hell, I don't want to live on this PLANET anymore. My respect for "Time" just plummted down to the earth's core."

Same. And Newsnight. This is destroying every institution I believed in.

rameau wrote: "You know, the European in me is cackling that she's doing this to Americans. Then I remember she's British and I want to put my head through the wall."

Hey! We are One World when it comes to things like this.

*grumbles* We had a whole war and still the whole country stops for a Royal wedding and this thieving bitch takes over...*grumbles*


Anachronist PoisonCupcakes wrote: "Alicia wrote: "God, this is out of fucking control. There is no integrity left in this world.

If you hear of a woman on the east coast spontaneously combusting – that would be me."

Holy crap,..."


What a shame. I will never buy TIME again. I am European and I feel deeply ashamed. When America sneezes we catch cold after all...can't people think? No, they can't.


message 347: by Beate (new)

Beate Alicia wrote: "God, this is out of fucking control. There is no integrity left in this world.

If you hear of a woman on the east coast spontaneously combusting – that would be me."


This is it. This is the end of days. We're fucked.


message 348: by Kruti (new) - rated it 1 star

Kruti Omg that was perfect. Just what I needed :)


message 349: by Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) (last edited Apr 19, 2012 11:12AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) @Anachronist: There are a lot of things I'm never buying again because of this.

Any Vintage/Random House books (I still need to understand how imprints work to determine if I can buy books from their other imprints).
TIME
The New York Times
The Washington Post
Entertainment Weekly
People
Newsweek
Any Universal movies or products.

I'm going to be saving a whole lot of money.

@Beate: Yes, we well and truly are.

@Kruti: I'm glad. =)


Anachronist I'm going to be saving a whole lot of money.

Yeah, every cloud has a silver lining. Hopefully. Still the whole situation leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


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