Alicia's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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This was a poorly written, utterly ridiculous, never ending mess as a fan fiction. The speed with which they "published" this indicates that they merely conducted a find and replace on the names and did not put in a good faith edit or rewrite the highly problematic storylines (read: the entire thing). The writing is insipid and juvenile. The characters are static, one dimensional, and unbelievably vacuous. (And also sound suspiciously and consistently British though they are supposed to be American.) In addition to the theft of intellectual property committed here it is not worth your time. If you like reading about incredibly stupid women, females being treated like the family pet in a relationship and marriage (outside of the poorly executed initial BDSM relationship), and no character development do a Google search for "Master of the Universe" and you'll find a residual copy of the original floating around. Save yourself the money and don't reward this unethical enterprise.

Added: A summary of Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe.

Written to save a friend the . . . effort. . . of reading this – may my brain's sacrifice not be in vain. This story is not original fiction, therefore names will not be changed from the original as I will not protect this author or her "publisher."
*Language Warning*

(view spoiler)[Bella: *Literally Falls into Edward's Life*
Edward: That was cute.
Bella: Uhhhh, interview?
Edward: You're hot, be my sub.
Bella: Uhhhhh, bye!
Edward: *chases* Here, sign this contract.
Bella: o_O
Edward: It's cool, trust me.
Bella: Uhhhh, I'm about the vanilla sex.
Edward: The...what? What is this you speak of? I need whips and chains and thangs.
Bella: Well, you are hot and stuff. So, sure. Oh, did I mention I'm a virgin?
Edward: You're a...what? What the hell is that? I didn't think those existed anymore. That's okay, I'm cool. And I can totally do soft for you. *battering rams hymen with giant Edward penis*
Bella: BEST THING EVAR, OMG!
Edward: So, now, about the whips and chains and thangs. I mean, this writer doesn't know shit about BDSM so it's going to be pretty ridic, but you'll like it, I swear.
Bella: Uhhhhh, well, you're still hot. And I did give you my virginity after 72 hours. So sure!
Edward: *heaven*
Bella: OMGWTFBBQDNW!
Edward: Dammit.
Bella: YOU'RE A SADIST?!
Edward: I'm not a sadist. I just like beating women to get off. God, get it right.
Bella: . . .
Edward: So, no?
Bella: It's not my thing.
Edward: Well, it's only been 72 hours but I...uhm, something, you. Care, yeah, that's the word. You don't have to be my sub. I'll do the *gulp* vanilla. But you can't touch my chest...*lipstick road map*...here.
Bella: Why?
Edward: No reason, everywhere else is fine though!
Bella: Sweet!
Edward: Sigh.
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Bella: Baw baw baw baw.
Edward: Still?
[Sex.]
Bella: I can't make you happy you need the other stuff and I can't do it so I gotta go.
Edward: But, but but but, your birth control hasn't even kicked in yet! Baaaaawwwwwwwww.
Bella: *depression so deep she loses 10 pounds in like five days*
Edward: *depression so deep he...does something. IDEK. Whines to his former Domme about it*
[Some contrived event that gets them together.]
Edward: I can't live without you I need you please come back and I'll be all vanilla-y and you need to accept that I don't need the kink anymore.
Bella: But but but but
Edward: OMFG, SHUT UP AND DO ME.
Bella: OKAY.
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Irina: Hi, I'm the ephebophile that dragged Edward into BDSM at 15 even though I'm his mom's BFF.
Edward: Oh, hey.
Bella: WHAT?! I'm calling pedobear.
Irina: Oh get over it. There was a five year statute of limitations after he turned 18, so neener neener. Also, he's never going to be able to stay vanilla for you. And if you hurt him again I'll gut you.
Bella: Bitch please, don't you have young boys to seduce? God dammit. Edward, keep this pedo-bitch away from me.
Edward: Pedo? What are you even? It wasn't like that.
Bella: It's a good thing you're pretty.
Edward: Yeah, I am aren't I? She's just a friend, I've known her forever, it's cool. Let's fuck.
Bella: God, I hate you people. Okay.
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Bella: I'm on my period.
Edward: Like I care. *yanks the tampon right out of her and plunges in* (Yes, that happens.)
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Bella: I'd like to work some of your kinky stuff into the sex.
Edward: Sigh. No, you don't. God you are so annoying confusing.
Bella: No, really, I liked some of it. So we can do a little. Plus you have that super red room of pain just sitting there gathering dust. Might as well do something.
Edward: Yeah, that's true, I was going to turn it into an in-house therapist's office because we both probably need Dr. Banner to move in here and just be on call. I'm 50 Shades of fucked up. And you're you.
[Edward backstory with his crackwhore mom and her pimp who abused the crap out of him and put cigarettes out on him.]
Bella: Yeah, I mean you do need more therapy. Jesus, you're nuts. BUT YOU'RE MY 50 SHADES AND I LOVE YOU AND I'M GOING TO CALL YOU THAT FOR THE REST OF FOREVER. But seriously, you're nuts.
Edward: Takes one to know one.
Bella: Shut up and tie me up.
Edward: Okay!
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Edward psychotic behavior.]
[Bella acts like an idiot.]
[Sex.]
Lauren: Oh, hi, I'm his former sub and I look like you and I'm crazzyyyyyy.
Edward: Oh, crap.
Bella: OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME AND HE HAD OTHER WOMEN. WHAT? YES, OBVIOUSLY I KNEW HE DID BUT IT'S STILL A BIG DEAL AND WHAT IF HE WANTS HER BACK SHE'LL DO THE KINKY STUFF I WON'T AND SHE LOOKS LIKE ME WHAT DOES THAT MEAN OMG.
Lauren: Really? You gave up subs for this? Lemme just shoot the bitch.
Edward: No, please don't. I'll give you a bath.
Lauren: Okay.
Bella: WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN YOU GAVE HER A BATH. WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HER A BATH. OMG EDWARD. THAT IS NOT EVEN OKAY.
Edward: Sex?
Bella: Sigh. Yes.
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Bella: Okay, so about all your subs looking alike and how I look like all your subs...
Edward: Uh, that's a coincidence.
Bella: . . .
Edward: Okay, fine, you all look like the crackwhore. I like being a sadist on women who look like my birth mom.
Bella: YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T A SADIST!!
Edward: I lied. Sue me.
Bella: I..WHAT..YOU..BUT...GAH!
Edward: Do I even have to ask?
Bella: . . . no.
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
Edward: I wish you'd let me buy you a job.
Bella: No, I'm doing this on my own.
Edward: But I have like all the money in the world. Let me buy your career.
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Bella: Dude, back off. I'm doing this internship. My boss's name is James. What can go wrong?!
Edward: Sigh. Fine. I hope you won't get pissed when I covertly buy the company.
Bella: OMG, WHAT? YOU PSYCHO.
Edward: Sex?
Bella: Sigh. Okay, fine.
[Email after email to each other.]
Edward: Dude, you need to be careful what you write in e-mail.
Bella: You don't, geez. It's always me.
Edward: No one cares what I say.
Bella: Whatever. I DO WHAT I WANT.
Edward: NO, YOU DO WHAT I WANT. I THOUGHT I'VE ESTABLISHED BY NOW THAT I GIVE COMMANDS AND YOU FOLLOW THEM.
Bella: THAT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISTRACT ME WITH SEX. WHICH IS ALL THE TIME. BUT SINCE I'M AT WORK YOU CAN'T DO THAT AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT.
Edward: *SEETHES*
[Edward psychotic behavior.]
[Bella acts like an idiot.]
James: Muahahahahaha
Bella: What was that?
James: Oh, nothing. You want me right?
Bella: Seriously? Ew.
James: Okay, let me rephrase that, I'VE READ YOUR E-MAILS, YOU WANT ME, RIGHT?
Bella: Shit. *backs away slowly*
James: Oh no you don't. *grabs*
Edward: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAYYYYY (oh, and my bodyguard is here too, whatever.)
Bella: *Collapses*
Edward: I FUCKING TOLD YOU, BITCH.
Bella: I'm sorry?
Edward: *ANOTHER IN A LINE OF MANY TANTRUMS*
Bella: God, and you talk about me. I'M SORRY.
Edward: Really angry sex?
Bella: Is that even a question?
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
Edward: Oh, by the way, even though you had only been an intern there for a week you're being promoted to replace James as an executive editor or something. This totally makes sense and the rest of the staff is going to be more than fine with it. But I swear I had nothing to do with it.
Bella: OMG OMG OMG!!!
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Edward psychotic behavior.]
[Bella acts like an idiot.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Sex.]
[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]
Bella: You did...something, okay you really didn't do anything but love me or whatever approximation of love you're able to manifest me but I'm really insecure and therefore I have to question everything even if it's nothing, so you did something that makes me think this relationship that has lasted only two months and like 88 chapters is not going to work.
Edward: OH GOD NO. NOT THIS AGAIN. UHHHHH *drops to knees* I'LL BE YOUR SUB.
Bella: What? Uh, no, dummy. Do I look like I could be a Domme? Jesus. But I guess this means you really love me.
Edward: Duh. Oh, and you can touch my chest now!
Bella: OMG, you love me so much. IT'S A BDSM MIRACLE!
Edward: Remember that package I gave you? Open it.
Bella: Present! *opens* YES I'LL MARRY YOU OMG!
Edward: Score!
–––
I wrote this summary quickly and forgot about a lot of things, for instance:
*Edward's "twitchy palm" (AKA this threats of physical abuse against Bella in their "vanilla" relationship).
*Bella's feather boa wearing "Inner Goddess" and bespectacled "Subconscious" dancing around and talking to her like corporeal beings. But she is completely sane and rational!
*A helicopter crash or some such ridiculous shit that totally makes sense you guys because it's super dramatic.
It honestly is worse than you think.
(hide spoiler)]
–––
My Fifty Shades Darker review.
My Fifty Shades Freed review.
My review of the Bundle. It includes some important points I didn't include in these reviews.
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 916) (916 new)


message 1: by rameau (new) - added it
Nov 21, 2011 02:43pm

rameau Squee! *likes* It's still utterly ridiculous and your sacrifice was not for naught.


message 2: by Alyssa (new)
Nov 22, 2011 06:54pm

Alyssa I actually googled 'Master of the Universe' after reading your review and I found a PDF copy with the twilight cast! So was this book originally written as a fan fiction? And is it exactly the same story with the character's name changed?


message 3: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 22, 2011 08:39pm

Alicia Alyssa wrote: "I actually googled 'Master of the Universe' after reading your review and I found a PDF copy with the twilight cast! So was this book originally written as a fan fiction? And is it exactly the same..."

Yes, it's the same story. The only thing that has been changed are the names and physical descriptions of the characters.


message 4: by Alyssa (new)
Nov 22, 2011 08:53pm

Alyssa thanks for the heads up, I'll save myself the $33!


message 5: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 22, 2011 10:53pm

Alicia Alyssa wrote: "thanks for the heads up, I'll save myself the $33!"

Glad to be of service!


message 6: by Baba ♥♥♥ Marcus, Tyler, Tate, Dan, Ty, & Hunter (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 23, 2011 11:18pm

Baba ♥♥♥ Marcus, Tyler, Tate, Dan, Ty, & Hunter Alicia, your review is...hmmm...how can I say this...rather entertaining. :) I had so much issues with this story AND the characters...I just couldn't finish it. Awful.


message 7: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 30, 2011 05:48am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Bwahahaha! I love this review so much. :D I couldn't get through the first couple chapters, so I have no idea how it felt to slog through the whole thing. As the author of an unfinished, rambling and, in hindsight, utterly stupid fanfic, I know just how much fail these can be. LOL


message 8: by Noreen (new)
Nov 30, 2011 02:38pm

Noreen Viscioni Alicia, your review is "spot on" I am stupified by the characters in this book and their wishy, washy nonsense!


message 9: by Kat Kennedy (new)
Nov 30, 2011 04:28pm

Kat Kennedy I think I just about died laughing during your story paraphrasing. That was some seriously hilarious shit!


message 10: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 30, 2011 10:23pm

Alicia Baba wrote: "Alicia, your review is...hmmm...how can I say this...rather entertaining. :) I had so much issues with this story AND the characters...I just couldn't finish it. Awful."

Yeah, the only reason I made it through the first part was because it's hilarious bad!fic and fun to mock with friends. Then it moved from funny to just plain disturbing.


message 11: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 30, 2011 10:27pm

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Bwahahaha! I love this review so much. :D I couldn't get through the first couple chapters, so I have no idea how it felt to slog through the whole thing. As the author of an unfinished, rambling ..."

Haha, multiply reading those first few chapters by 90. Unfortunately, SQID never realized her fanfic was utterly stupid and it's been inflicted on a wider audience.


message 12: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 30, 2011 10:30pm

Alicia Noreen wrote: "Alicia, your review is "spot on" I am stupified by the characters in this book and their wishy, washy nonsense!"

I am stupefied that this trash somehow made it on the Goodreads year-end list. These characters (and story) are horrendous! Not to mention it's not actually a book.


message 13: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Nov 30, 2011 10:31pm

Alicia Kat wrote: "I think I just about died laughing during your story paraphrasing. That was some seriously hilarious shit!"

Thank you!


message 14: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 02:17am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Alicia wrote: "Haha, multiply reading those first few chapters by 90. Unfortunately, SQID never realized her fanfic was utterly stupid and it's been inflicted on a wider audience."

It really does boggle my mind the utter brazenness of taking a Twilight fic, doing some name replacing, tweaking a few details, and then getting it published. Shit, I'd never dare do it because it's wrong on so many levels.


message 15: by rameau (new) - added it
Dec 01, 2011 02:46am

rameau If I assume that the Goodreads default filter is set to review likes, then there's only one five star review for this book that has more them than you. And it's only 17 clicks away from your 32. You're so close to the top and to the unsuspecting book buyers who look at book reviews before deciding whether to read it or not.


message 16: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:00am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "It really does boggle my mind the utter brazenness of taking a Twilight fic, doing some name replacing, tweaking a few details, and then getting it published. Shit, I'd never dare do it because it's wrong on so many levels..."

Right? I'm really glad there are more people who understand that this is wrong than greedy, money-grubbers with no scruples whatsoever.


message 17: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:03am

Alicia rameau wrote: "If I assume that the Goodreads default filter is set to review likes, then there's only one five star review for this book that has more them than you. And it's only 17 clicks away from your 32. Yo..."

I've never thought of that. It would be cool if that's how it works! Though mine doesn't show up this way. On the main page it shows a bunch of five star *vomit* reviews. =/


message 18: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:10am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I could take one of my fanfics and tweak it lots (because I know it's got huge flaws) and try to flog it to the publishers, but that's because it's based on Homer, the Iliad and, very nominally, the Troy movie, not Stephanie Freakin' Meyer. I wouldn't even consider reworking my LOTR and Sharpe stuff to make a buck. That's completely hands off, as far as I'm concerned and should stay in ficworld where it belongs.

There's some consolation that these 2 books are out there in internetland and the author isn't able to get every single penny. Thievery works both ways. ;)


message 19: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:15am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Yours is the #2 review on the page when I look at it, Alicia. The first little section listing my friends' reviews are packed full of 5 stars. UGH.


message 20: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:17am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I could take one of my fanfics and tweak it lots (because I know it's got huge flaws) and try to flog it to the publishers, but that's because it's based on Homer, the Iliad and, very nominally, th..."

Yeah, at least there's a difference using something that is in the public domain. I do hope more people look for the fic than pay actual money. The thought of anyone actually paying for this "book" makes me weep for humanity.


message 21: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:19am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Yours is the #2 review on the page when I look at it, Alicia. The first little section listing my friends' reviews are packed full of 5 stars. UGH."

TG most of my friends reviews are 1-star. I guess I don't see my review there because it's mine? I see all the other high count reviews.


message 22: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 01, 2011 11:24am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I think that even though the book is getting raves left and right, the urge to get it free wins out over any airy-fairy notions of "support the author". Mwahaha.

Ummm, yeah...I've got some special friends with special tastes. :P I'm sure they can say the same for me and my cheesy-ass old bodice rippers. I kid because I love.


message 23: by Sandra (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 02, 2011 06:16pm

Sandra Best summary EVAH!!! I'm still laughing!!!!


message 24: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 02, 2011 07:03pm

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I think that even though the book is getting raves left and right, the urge to get it free wins out over any airy-fairy notions of "support the author". Mwahaha.

Ummm, yeah...I've got some special..."

Haha, at least those are actual books, even if cheesy. ;)


message 25: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 02, 2011 07:04pm

Alicia Sandra (TwilightMomofTwo) wrote: "Best summary EVAH!!! I'm still laughing!!!!"

Hehehe, thank you! =D


message 26: by Beth (new)
Dec 02, 2011 09:49pm

Beth "[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]"

me: DED

alicia, you're brilliant :D (didn't need to know that tampon thing though. bluurghhhhhhhhgghh)


message 27: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 03, 2011 12:41am

Alicia Beth wrote: ""[Start of an argument.]
[Edward stops it with sex.]"

me: DED

alicia, you're brilliant :D (didn't need to know that tampon thing though. bluurghhhhhhhhgghh)"

Hahahaha, I'm sorry, but the tampon thing is crucial to any retelling of this story. Ahahaha!


message 28: by Sophia. (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 04, 2011 10:33am

Sophia. OMG this is so fucking hilarious!! Hahahaha way to go, it's fantastic!!


message 29: by Amber Marie (new) - rated it 5 stars
Dec 06, 2011 03:04am

Amber Marie Pettit Okay, I am sticking to the fact that I love the "Fifty Shades" series so far, but OMFG your paraphrasing was hilarious and extremely entertaining. I was laughing my ass off. I am going to google "master of the universe" though. Even if it started out as fan-fiction, This shit was right up my ally. I still loved this series.I just wanted to comment on how fucking hilarious your parody was. Nice!


message 30: by Audrey (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 10:54am

Audrey Wait...the tampon thing...uh...WHAT?!??????????


message 31: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (last edited Dec 06, 2011 11:22am) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:05am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Good Lord, I just found that part in the actual story. O__o
(view spoiler)[
“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.

“Err... yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.

“Good.” He releases me and turns me around.

“Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.

He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.

“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.

Whoa… and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer.
(hide spoiler)]


message 32: by Audrey (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:06am

Audrey WHAT
THE
FUCK


message 33: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:08am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) As if the first person present tense wasn't bad enough....


message 34: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:08am

Alicia OH GOD. I COULD HAVE GONE A THOUSAND LIFETIMES WITHOUT READING THAT AGAIN.

How anyone finds this terrible story sexy, I'll never understand.


message 35: by Audrey (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:10am

Audrey I'm traumatized.

I'm sitting here, at work, and I'm traumatized.

Hold me.


message 36: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:11am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Alicia wrote: "OH GOD. I COULD HAVE GONE A THOUSAND LIFETIMES WITHOUT READING THAT AGAIN."

Sorry! :P


message 37: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:12am

Alicia *holds you* This has to be a valid use of sick leave.

Oh, and look the "publisher" never fixed the egregious abuse of ellipses. Nice.


message 38: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:14am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Alicia wrote: "OH GOD. I COULD HAVE GONE A THOUSAND LIFETIMES WITHOUT READING THAT AGAIN."

Sorry! :P"

We're all survivors now.


message 39: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:14am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) And sorry for posting this sentence again, but the money quote also has a typo in it:

And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.

And...a gently pulls? Whut?


message 40: by Audrey (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:15am

Audrey Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "And sorry for posting this sentence again, but the money quote also has a typo in it:

And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.

And...a gently pulls? Whut?"

YES.

O__o


message 41: by rameau (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:16am

rameau Alicia wrote: "*holds you* This has to be a valid use of sick leave.

Oh, and look the "publisher" never fixed the egregious abuse of ellipses. Nice."

You can't really blame them for that, can you? After all, Stephanie Meyer abused them first and as this is a fanfiction tribute to Twilight an original fiction it only follows what others have done before.


message 42: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:17am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "And sorry for posting this sentence again, but the money quote also has a typo in it:

And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.

And...a gently pulls? Whut?"

Hahahahaha, OMG. I skimmed it so I didn't see that.

Such amazing levels of fail. It's unfortunate these people don't have shame, they should feel it.


message 43: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:19am

Alicia rameau wrote: "Alicia wrote: "*holds you* This has to be a valid use of sick leave.

Oh, and look the "publisher" never fixed the egregious abuse of ellipses. Nice."

You can't really blame them for that, can yo..."

Haaaaahaha, well, when you put it that way it's very true. So, uh, thanks Little Brown, for starting a ~trend.


message 44: by rameau (last edited Dec 06, 2011 11:20am) (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:20am

rameau Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Good Lord, I just found that part in the actual story. O__o"

Could you please edit your comment and add spoiler tags for the quote? I know you don't have to and that this is Alicia's review, but you are spoiling an important unique part this titillating story for the rest of world.

*reaches for the vomit bucket*

Sorry.


message 45: by Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:24am

Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) rameau wrote: "Could you please edit your comment and add spoiler tags for the quote?"

Hah! Done.

Also, because I'm fucking bored at work fascinated by this piece of literary excellence, Microsoft Word tells me there are 80 mentions of "subconscious" and 58 mentions of "inner goddess."

In case you were all wondering.


message 46: by rameau (last edited Dec 06, 2011 11:29am) (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:28am

rameau Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "rameau wrote: "Could you please edit your comment and add spoiler tags for the quote?"

Hah! Done.

Also, because I'm fucking bored at work fascinated by this piece of literary excellence, Microsof..."

Of course I was. Thank you so much for those. And for the edit.


message 47: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:34am

Alicia Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "rameau wrote: "Could you please edit your comment and add spoiler tags for the quote?"

Hah! Done.

Also, because I'm fucking bored at work fascinated by this piece of literary excellence, Microsof..."


Hahaha, I couldn't remember what the partner of her "inner goddess" was. Now that I do maybe I'll have them make an appearance in the summary. Also, I'm actually surprised that it was only 80 and 58 mentions. The seemed to pop up a lot.


message 48: by Audrey (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:37am

Audrey So I take it you all are *ahem* thrilled that this book took home second place this year in the Goodreads Choice Awards for Best Romance? *wiggles eyebrows*


message 49: by rameau (new) - added it
Dec 06, 2011 11:42am

rameau Audrey wrote: "So I take it you all are *ahem* thrilled that this book took home second place this year in the Goodreads Choice Awards for Best Romance? *wiggles eyebrows*"

What I'm thrilled about is the comments on the Goodreads "announcing the winners" front page. I'm going to quote Seton's comment from there now.

Sarah wrote: "But seriously... Lover Unleashed?!?! That book was horrible! I can't understand that!
"


I can't stand that series but it's still miles better than the runner-up: 50 Shades of Grey. What I want to know is how the hell it can get 3800 votes when ONLY 2200 rated it in the first place and I know not every 2200 voted for it since I was one of them. Can we say ballot stuffing?

Pee-thetic.



message 50: by Alicia (new) - rated it 1 star
Dec 06, 2011 11:47am

Alicia rameau wrote: "Audrey wrote: "So I take it you all are *ahem* thrilled that this book took home second place this year in the Goodreads Choice Awards for Best Romance? *wiggles eyebrows*"

What I'm thrilled about..."

Haha! I couldn't help it, I responded.


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