Barbara's Reviews > The Reluctant Vampire

The Reluctant Vampire by Lynsay Sands
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Jul 11, 11

Read in July, 2011

** spoiler alert ** Call me jaded but this story was a long read for me. Not bc it was hard but bc the characters were mehh. Drina was a hot temale but Harper... he's just the joy stick.

Someone is trying to kill Stephanie (Leonius, is that u?). It's up to many vamps to babysit her and keep her safe.

Harper: Whoa, my true love Jenny died while was trying to turn her. My heart is stattered. Whoa! Hey hot mama Drina! ...No, I am still mourning my past dead love. Oh, the grief, the pain, the lack of sex I will be having or not having as I watch u shop at Walmart buying hot FM boots and dresses and undies.

Drina: Oh, Hello Harper! My, what a nice...oh, oops, gotta keep this clean. I was told by Aunt Margaritte that u r my life mate. But alas, u r mourning so I have to (w/ the help from Stephanie) convince u we r meant to be more than just friends. Let's intice u with tales of my previous employment: I was a daughter, a sister, a gladiator, a pirate, a madam, a rogue hunter, and others but the dear cute typist here forgot the rest of my story. ;)

Stephanie: Eeek! Leonius is out to get me and wants me to be his private breeder bc my sister Dani from the book prior to this one) killed his sons. Now he wants and eye for an eye. I'll keep my mind busy and play slutty dress up w/ Drina so I can get Harper out of his mourning.

Teddy: Damit Janet! Harper, Jenny wasn't really ur life mate. There, I said it and I have authority to say such things bc I am the town Sherrif.

Plot: Someone is trying to kill or seriously hurt Stephanie! Btw, she has mad powers we have to hide from uncle Lucien.
Revealed: Damit Janet! Jenny wasn't Haper's life mate as per Jenny's sister Sue, the person who wsa behind all the fire, cutting the car brakes, the cherry bomb and now the aiming of the gun to a sleeping Harper's head. Jenny had a brain tumor and she never had feeling for Harper other than to use him to turn her, be young and beautiful and mind slip men into driving her away on adventures. I wanted to punish u and the slut, Drina, for humping like two horndogs(yup, that's straight from the book). U forgot about my sister!

Harper: No! This can't be!!! Jenny loved me.
Teddy: Ummm, no, she didn't. I grew up with her and can safely say, "you have been played big boy."
Drina: Finally, I don't have to compete with a dead ghost. I'm not into sharing.
Stephanie: Hey, this story is about me! FOCUS PEOPLE!!!
Sue: Shut the back door and the front door too! I'm trying to kill u Harper but I can't seem to pull the darn trigger!?!
Harper: Hmmm, this would explain y I didn't have x-rated thoughts about Jenny and oh my god! I ate! That proves she was my life ma...
Drina: Oh u stupid boy! We still can eat but we get bored so we choose not to. Now ravage me, u hot man u!
Harper: I can have Drina and not feel guilty! Free Whilley!
Teddy: Get a room...cuz I am going to arrest you, Sue for attempted murder and anything else I can throw at you!

Ending: So it wasn't Leonius, in this book, that was after Stephainie. She can read your mind like nobody's business but it will slowly drive her crazy. She ain't Sookie Stackhouse who can control it yet. She can also mind persuade ppl at this early stage. Enter Uncle Hot but few words Lucien. He reads everyone's mind and then says, "ok, u r safe for now. get a gripe n handle the powers and I want an update every month on my desk." THe end... hmmm, let's match Teddy up with an immortal now.:D
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message 1: by Kas (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kas This review fits the story perfectly!


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