Stephanie's Reviews > Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base

Area 51 by Annie   Jacobsen
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May 03, 13

bookshelves: science, omyfckinggod8lbbabyjesusonapogostic, 2012
Read from January 27 to February 03, 2012

"Wow! It sure is hot in the desert. Hey, why does that rattle snake have two heads?"

"I can tell you……."

"Oh, hello…I didn‘t see you there, just talking to myself and the snake---s. I’m Stephanie, and who are you and what are you doing in the middle of the Mojave Desert?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I’m Annie Jacobson, I wrote a book about Area 51. It’s just over the hill there."

"The hill with the two Hummers on it? Hey, and there seems to be a couple guys with guns…..uh……pointing in our direction."

"Yuup, but it doesn’t technically exist."

"Why? What do you mean by “doesn’t technically exist”? Those guns exist. Is it because of the aliens? Oh it’s because of the aliens! I KNEW it!"

"Yes, I talk about the Roswell incident a bit in the beginning of the book, but then I get into all the crazy military secrets. What I mean by Area 51 not existing is that it has always been a Black Operation, which means our federal government denies it existence even though it sits right over there……as you so astutely observed."

"Thanks! So you mean the President and the rest of the government, close their eyes, stick their fingers in their ears and go LALALALALALA………..?"

"Kind of, but not really. No president has ever “known” about Area 51. Vannevar Bush, the engineer that was the primary organizer for the Manhattan Project started up Area 51 because he believed some things are on a need to know basis, and the president just didn’t need to know. In fact, whoever works at Area 51 is on a need to know basis. You only know about your specific field of work and that’s all. I guess no one in that place knows the whole story."

"Did you say Vannever BUSH? Oh god! Those Bush’s are freaking everywhere and they ruin everything! This explains so much……"

"There is no evidence that Vannever and W. Have any familial ties. Relax Stephanie."'

"Oh." "Sorry." "continue."

After WWII the United States government recruited Nazi scientists, because they were the best in the world, forgave all their odious crimes and set them up with pretty swanky jobs at Area 51. This was called operation Paperclip. The Soviet Union recruited some of their own. Joseph Stalin used them to come up with some inventions as well."

"Uuck! We had known Nazis on our soil doing god knows what………and we called it Operation Paperclip? That doesn’t sound very intimidating. Why not Operation Commando Eagle or something like that? What were they up to anyway? Investigating aliens, right?"

"Commando Eagle? Isn’t that an Eagle without underpants?........ Anyway, they were doing all sorts of things, mostly testing nuclear bombs. Bomb after bomb after bomb…….it’s a wonder the planet is still intact. It’s a damn miracle any of us are alive. For one of the tests they put a bunch of sheep, rodents, and 109 beagles in cages, blew up a bomb to see how it would affect them. Turns out, plutonium is only lethal if inhaled; you can touch it, no worries. The aliens, yeah, sort of……I tease about them again in the middle of the book to keep you reading."

"Awe, 109 beagles? They wouldn’t do that kind of crap today; PETA would be all over their ass! By the way, teasing isn’t nice Annie."

"I know, I’m getting to it. Couple of interesting tid bits I need to share first, when they tested some manned rockets they noticed a bunch of black dots high in the atmosphere. It freaked them out until they found out they were dead bugs blasted so high in all the thermal nuclear bomb tests they were sent into orbit. One of the scientist at Area 51 was known for inventing something that kept the astronauts penises from freezing to the urine tube when they had to pee……….and they had this spy operation they called Acoustic Kitty, where they implanted listening devices in cats, that didn’t work out so well…..and…….."

"ANNIE! The little grey men please. By the way, since this stuff is mostly classified, how do you know all of this information?"

"I interviewed one of the original Paperclip scientists for a year right before he died".

"So?"

"Ever heard of Occam's razor?"

"Yeah, given a bunch of solutions to a problem, the simplest one is the most plausible one."

"Right. Well…….."

(view spoiler)

"………..and that’s why we can’t have nice things Stephanie……."

"Thanks Annie, I’m scared, I think I peed myself a little. I think I'll go home now."

Also posted at shelfinflicted
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Comments (showing 1-16)




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Stephanie I'll do my best :)


Richard Reviles Censorship Always in All Ways Shhhh, Kat, she's off bombing a friend with writing book suggestions. When she gets home, that is.


Stephanie Kat wrote: "Ha-ha-ha! Jeez Steph, you made me ink.

But seriously...you non-Nevadans have such a twisted view of the happenings in our state. Just because we allow nuclear testing and alien visitations does ..."


I don't think Nevadans are abnormal, but Area 51......weird.


message 13: by Brandon (new)

Brandon Great review!


Stephanie Thanks Brandon.


Stephanie Now with quotation marks.....yay!


message 10: by Jess (new)

Jess Saxton Wow...so if the effin' President doesn't even know about Area 51, why does it seem like everyone else does?


Stephanie Jess wrote: "Wow...so if the effin' President doesn't even know about Area 51, why does it seem like everyone else does?"

Well he knows, but he doesn't officially know. And he may know only as much as we do.....that's how black operations work....it's kind of fucked up.


message 8: by Jess (new)

Jess Saxton Haha...I know. It's just so funny that it's so hush-hush, but everyone knows it exists, if not what actually goes on there. I might have to give this book a read. It sounds truly fascinating.


Stephanie Jess wrote: "Haha...I know. It's just so funny that it's so hush-hush, but everyone knows it exists, if not what actually goes on there. I might have to give this book a read. It sounds truly fascinating."

I hope you like it....it can get kind of dry, but hang in there.


message 6: by Katy (new) - added it

Katy My dad used to transport cattle for the Binions from their ranch in Montana down to Nevada. One night he got lost in the desert after some road construction sent him on a detour. He had a ... weird encounter with a strange base out there. He said all the lower-level workers looked exactly the same, and they wore strange uniforms like he'd never seen before. They weren't at all concerned that he had a handgun right out on the seat of his truck, they were only curious as to how he got there. They finally gave him directions and he left... and immediately forgot completely about it for over a decade. O.O My dad is not one to make up stories, by the way, I completely believe him. He thought maybe he somehow went through a time warp or something. I think I definitely need to get a copy of this book - it sounds interesting.


Stephanie Katy wrote: "My dad used to transport cattle for the Binions from their ranch in Montana down to Nevada. One night he got lost in the desert after some road construction sent him on a detour. He had a ... wei..."

That is an interesting story. There is more happening out there than we know for sure....


message 4: by Paul (new) - added it

Paul Curcione Scratching my head on this review.

Why are women so much harder than men on other women? No wonder you never got the right to vote until 1920. Lol


message 3: by Mike (new) - added it

Mike Great review - love the quotation marks! Time to officially recognize my interest and add this book to the over-large TBR shelf.


message 2: by sckenda (new)

sckenda Loved the Occam's razor explanation in the spoiler. I have always been skeptical, highly skeptical of the even crazier notions that so many people believe.


Stephanie Thanks guys! Yeah, that explanation is pretty odd.....but not as odd as the explanation that is widely held today.


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