Laurel's Reviews > The Host

The Host by Stephenie Meyer
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Stephenie Meyer has a great ulterior motive. No really. Make an INCREDIBLY long book filled with nothing so that no matter what, its spine will stare you down in the science fiction section of any bookstore ever.

Well played, SMeyer.

Either way, at least the premise of The Host had the tiniest bit of a chance at impressing me. Souls invading people's body for the lulz. Lulz = Making the world a better place cause humans are mean mean mean! (I imagine a sort of 40s, 50s era commercial here with dancing silver centipedes...)

This was just nonsense. Complete utter nonsense. Stephenie Meyer takes what could be a great concept, and just goes to the toilet with it. Just because I've been so mopey and bored because of reading this book, I think I'll break this thing down as much as I possibly can. Because in all aspects, it's still Twilight. May not be the same premise as Twilight, but I'm still reading the Adventures of No One: Quest for Nothing.

Let's start with the very very basics: Dat Planning.

There are people who are gifted enough to write on the go and make something ridiculously awesome, get published, and get money. I am not that fortunate, so in order to make sure my story is great, I have outlined my entire series' plot so that there is a climax in each book, and everything is ready to be written when I get to a certain point. It also adds the fun of hinting very early in the series and making the shocking-then-later-painfully-obvious-discoveries later. I LOVE those.

The Host was not planned. If it was planned, even a SMIDGE, this book would be a lot better than it was. There was so much fluff, I swear to God, I was reading a pillow. The concept is planned to a point, with the Seeker and the Healer and the Comforter and other names that just seem uncreative, but that's all she really goes into. She tries to open up worlds, and I give her doggie treats for trying, but it's not good enough. Not for adult science fiction. In science fiction, everything should be explained: HOW did the medicines heal that fast? HOW are souls connecting themselves to the humans? HOW HOW HOW and WHY WHY WHY? Not, "Lol, just because! :D"

"A hybrid combination of Stephen King and Isaac Asimov" - Ridley Pearson
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW THIS BOOK CAN POSSIBLY MATCH STEPHEN AND ISAAC. HOW. REALLY. Or EVEN ISAAC ALL BY HIMSELF. She bribed you, didn't she, Pearson? She said, "Praise my book and you'll get some of my royalties." Because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that this is anything. ANYTHING. This isn't even words on pages. This is not a story, NOT a book.

Next point: Dat Creativity.

I dare someone to tell me just how important the worlds were to this story other than being used as a plot device to get Wanda liked by the Crew in the Caves. No one? I thought so. Stephenie Meyer did not try. I did not believe in these worlds she just made up. She threw no effort into the worlds, she only focused on the romance, because that's what her momma taught her.

Names like Planet of the Flowers, and Singing World? Really? And what's the excuse? "That's the way it was translated over." FUCK. THAT. You gotta go deeper than that. I wouldn't care if the Flower planet was called Chlorophyllia or Flower in anagram style, it's better than THE LAND OF FLOWERZ. Don't even get me STARTED on the fuckin' medicine names. Just...no. This creativity also affects not only the world, but the characters that live in it and the shit they go through.

Which brings me to the next point: Dem Characters.

Lol what characters. Oh right, the only ones I can really remember are Kyle, Wanda, Mel, Jared, Ian, and Jamie. Because they were the only ones that really mattered. Heidi, Violetta, Lily, Maggie, they were all just names. No voice, no use. Just names that were tossed around whenever, like Aaron and Brandt and Wes too. When they kept being brought up, I thought, "Who are they again? Who are they? WHO ARE THEY?"

Give characters a voice. Don't go around making catchphrases for EVERYONE, but giving them a little trade mark helps. Memorable lines wouldn't hurt either, also...SHOW AND DON'T TELL. But moving back to The Host, I did not care about anyone in this book. I had no reason too. Everyone was tense, everyone flinched and winced and cried and sobbed and silently shrieked every three pages. Nothing happened except lots of dialogue, barely any description, and just angst everywhere. ANGST IN AN ADULT NOVEL...but done poorly. Bksdjgnkl. But let's conclude.

Final Point: Dat Plot Structure.

If you don't plan everything out, your creativity can't run wild. If your creativity can't fully function, then your characters are gonna suffer, and when your characters are gonna suffer, what kind of plot are they going to go through? Answer: The shittiest plot of them all. Golden rule of plot structure is the Magic 3 system. Or so I've noticed.

You've got:
-Beginning Climax
-Middle Climax
-Final climax

Beginning climax gets the ball rolling. It gets your main character to become curious/concerned/go out of their daily routine. Middle Climax gets them to realize that hey, this change isn't good, we gotta do something! And the final climax is the showdown/epiphany/big reveal/etc. There are many spots to fill, but that structure can give the best results because of even pacing. I would've felt better reading The Host if there was any plot structure at all. It was Wanda waking up, leaving, meeting Jared and co, surviving an attack by Kyle, and then stopping a Seeker that never really mattered and saving them anyway.

Kyle would be a good middle climax if I had actually cared for the characters. Same with the Seeker. If I SAW some things she did rather than Wanda saying she was evil, I'd probably care more about that "final showdown".



So yeah, don't grab this book unless you're like me, where you have to read it just so you can say, "I read it, and it sucked." Save your sanity.
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Reading Progress

08/08/2011 page 3
0.0% ".....why are animals are being capitalized, Meyer? Lol wait...I'm asking you to explain something you're probably never gonna dive into again."
08/08/2011 page 23
4.0% "I think my six year-old cousin could think up a name for a world that'd kick 'Singing World's ass. It's NOT THAT HARD, Meyer, and STOP FUCKING CAPITALIZING EVERYTHING. DO YOU KNOW GRAMMAR? You have to explain what you capitalize."
08/08/2011 page 26
4.0% "....now you're capitalizing 'Comforter'. Is that a person's role or like...a bed comforter?"
08/09/2011 page 48
8.0% ""Muddy green brown hazel". I think just 'hazel' would do it Smeyer..."
08/09/2011 page 48
8.0% ""The Seeker was...very difficult to like. Impossible." HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW AND NOT TELL?"
08/09/2011 page 76
12.0% "...........I can't. Sigh."
08/10/2011 page 148
24.0% "Thank you, Kyle, for having a brain."
08/11/2011 page 170
27.0% "Decided to skip ten pages. Missed nothing."
08/11/2011 page 192
31.0% "Can...can you have volcanic rock in the desert? Is that somehow possible?"
08/11/2011 page 218
35.0% ""They just opened a new world.". So they open worlds like amusement parks..."
08/11/2011 page 259
42.0% "You can't silently shriek!! NO ONE CAN."
08/11/2011 page 294
47.0% "WANDA, MY GOD. STOP BEING LAME. Ian, stop being a puppy, and Jamie, please don't be reckless cause you're actually kinda cool."
08/11/2011 page 310
50.0% "I'm reading this book as if I was just told to clean all the bathrooms in my house. It's such a chore, and I can't do it for much longer. CAN SOMETHING HAPPEN ALREADY?"
08/12/2011 page 334
54.0% "Steam from a BOILING SPRING can't wash your face. It'd burn it, real bad too. Use better words."
08/12/2011 page 334
54.0% ""Wes's olive-toned face darkened.". He became two tones darker that day."
08/12/2011 page 380
61.0% "WHAT IS THIS BOWEL MOVEMENT. KYLE'S THE ONLY ENTERTAINING THING IN THIS WHOLE BOOK."
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Comments (showing 1-12)




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message 12: by Nicole (new) - added it

Nicole Almost half way there! You can make it!


Laurel I'm getting there! I JUST WISH THERE WAS STRUCTURE IN THIS BOOK.


message 10: by Nicole (new) - added it

Nicole LOL, all your updates are hilarious!


message 9: by Choco (new)

Choco I typed three different comments and then thought, that's so lame, can't you think of something better to say?

So, uh, I'll just say this: You're so amazing.


Laurel Thank you, my dear. <3!


Angela I read this whilst high on codeine when I broke my leg so I actually quite enjoyed it. I think if I read it not high and in a state of pain/shock I probably wouldn't enjoy it all!
Prescription drugs equal a win!


Laurel Angela wrote: "I read this whilst high on codeine when I broke my leg so I actually quite enjoyed it. I think if I read it not high and in a state of pain/shock I probably wouldn't enjoy it all!
Prescription drug..."


Hurray for drugs hiding the mind-numbing effects of The Host! Who knows, maybe you'll read it again and still enjoy it. :)


SubterraneanCatalyst HOLY Moly! Someone compared this to Isaac Asimov?



Laurel I know. It hurts me to see that quote. Dammit, Pearson.


SubterraneanCatalyst Ghirardelli wrote: "I know. It hurts me to see that quote. Dammit, Pearson."

I'm convinced that everyone involved with Asimov is a complete sell out. There, I said it. lol


Angela Ghirardelli wrote: "Angela wrote: "I read this whilst high on codeine when I broke my leg so I actually quite enjoyed it. I think if I read it not high and in a state of pain/shock I probably wouldn't enjoy it all!
Pr..."

Ha I doubt it, I'll keep the book banked as a very hazy read but I really have no intention of rereading it!


Andre Those "alien" names were terrible, if they would at least fit somehow, but they didn't fit nothing at all. Calling the spiders lizard ants would have been better.


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