I’m going to say this now so it’s out of the way.No.
I’ve never read the Draco Trilogy by Cassandra Claire on fanfiction.net.No.
I have no right to mention the plagiarism event around the Draco Trilogy in this review, because I have not read it, and so I will not go into the plagiarism event.Yes.
I know of the plagiarism, and I find it despicable, but I’m not reviewing that, I’m reviewing City of Bones.THE CITY OF BONES REREAD WITH PALICE AND GHIRARDELLI
It started EPIC, then tapered to a molasses read but who really cares. It’s done now and that’s that! But onto MY review!THE REVIEW STARRING GHIRARDELLI CHOCOLATE
BACKSTORY. When I first spotted City of Bones, I saw the cover and thought, “Hmm...interesting designs. Kinda weird, but I rather like it...” Drew me in, so I read the blurb, said, “Lol kay” and purchased it. What I remember after that first read was Clary, Jace, Alec, Isabelle, Abbadon, the Star Wars copycat sibling scene, and Jocelyn still being in a coma. Of all those things, Momma Fray still being in a coma pissed me off the most, and I dropped the series because of that alone
Fast forward to Ghirardelli present day with more of a brain. Now I got a sense of plot, character arc/development, themes, literary devices, and a fresh love for reading. Now, with this knowledge, City of Bones
angers me even further without Momma Fray’s limp body.
Clarissa, or Clary Fray (Clare...Clary...*sigh*) is a 15 year-old girl who is somehow allowed into a club and meets a bunch of Shadowhunters who kill a demon party goer. They’re like, “SHOOT SHE KNOWS” and she goes off on an adventure after she finds her apartment totaled by a Ravener demon thang and her mother not where she last left her.Aww yeah here we go!
I cannot begin to fathom just WHAT is going on with this prose. I’ll admit that there are a few moments where the descriptions of certain areas are vivid and near perfect
Ex: When Clary finds Jace with Valentine. That gold room with the velvet curtains and all that. Woooow lovely image.Also, with Abbadon. Fuck guys, I don’t wanna get NEAR whatever that thing was. Yeesh, I’ll just hide in my bed thanks.
But at the same time, with this descriptions, Clare likes to drop about a bajillion these on us:“Moonlight ran like silver water...”
“...stinging and aching, like raw meat.”
“The apple tasted green and cool.”
“Leaving the Institute was like climbing into a wet, hot canvas bag.”
“...pale gold pollen as light as talcum.”
WHAT.NONE OF THOSE SIMILES EVEN MAKE SENSE.
Honestly, I’ve never seen so many similes in one book ever
This is literary technique abuse in its natural habitat. I honestly thought Twilight was bad with the thesaurus raping, but Clare is nearly there with all of these nonsensical similes! Yes, some of them indeed worked, but having this army of them got me out of the story so quickly by about the 20th one that I was groaning every time the words ‘like’ or ‘as if’ came up.
This nonsense is an example of telling us someone’s reaction, rather than showing us. YOu know the whole SHOW, don’t TELL thing. There’s a moment where Jace’s tension is described as a downed electrical wire or something, but that doesn’t show me anything. It’s showing me the image of a live wire on some ground. Is Jace writhing on the ground in frustration or...? Whatever.
I also felt...bored. Excluding Luke’s POV and Abbadon’s chapter, I just sat and twiddled my thumbs. Nothing was interesting to me. The Ravener battle seemed meh and the encounter with Valentine SUPER lulzy.
I think it might’ve been because the POVs were switching so randomly at times. Even from page one, we have Clary scoping out the blue-haired kid, then we JUMP to his perspective and we’re forced to oblige. Here I thought we’d follow third person omniscient, which I have no quarrels with since I’m doing that myself, but the switching was so arbitrary and rapid that I was unsure if who I was reading. It may just be me, but I get so mind-boggled when I come across that. The whacked POV really threw me for a ride.
All the POV switching didn’t help the plot much, nor was the plot much to begin with. Clare seems to take a nose dive into plot with Jocelyn’s disappearance. I’m ready to go, I’m all strapped in. Then, she just kinda lets Clary float about for a while. Go get some memories, go help Simon the rat, go into a conflict between two boyz, go fetch the Mortal Cup (which we have no idea what it is or DOES until Dorothea spells it out when we’re roughly 77% done the book).
Even with the plot jumbled up like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle with forks and turns that made barely any sense, it was still there, and it was throughout the book and not shoved into the end. So by my standards, this book stands a little taller and prouder than others I’ve read. I’m not exaggerating that either. This book is worthy of its two stars.
I feel like the second star is for the times where I just caught myself enjoying little bits like Abbadon and Luke’s infodump. I found the battle with Abbadon to be fairly kick-butt, an I actually didn’t mind Luke’s backstory stuff so much. I started to enjoy his character a little. Speaking of characters...CLARY CASSANDRA FRAYI will never not hate Clary
Clary is a cruel-hearted, whiny, and angry little girl. She contradicts herself and her own actions, she bad mouths every living soul around her, and for what? Is this supposed to make her a strurng female churuktur or something? Kicking ass and taking names because you open-handedly smack everyone around you? That’s just being mean and hateful. There is nothing appealing or likable about Clarissa Fray.
She abandons her best friend, Simon, at a poetry slam to follow the boy she barely knows, then yells at Isabelle for abandoning Simon at Magnus’ party, then she even forgets that Simon drove her and the other Shadowhunters back to Dorothea’s. This is when Simon SAVES THEIR ASSES, too.
I just can’t. Clary, you’re an idiot.JACE WHICH WAYLAND
Our love interest, ladies and gentlemen. Tawny
, tumbling gold locks, and gold eyes! Oh sweet lawd hold me!
Jace is a major asshole. Simon calls him out on it. Clary does then APOLOGIZES FOR IT (HUH?), but I still would take him over Clary. Hell, with the backstory that Jace was getting, I wouldn’t have minded if this were told from his perspective. I bet it would’ve been a lot easier (somehow), not to mention far more interesting.
I can still handle him. Like, I’m not wanting to strangle Jace like I am Clary. Jace was an ass, but he didn’t cross my line. He does have a tendency to be obnoxiously cheesy and loves to fail-snark the heck out of everything.
Maybe I liked him more because his seraph blades were actually psychic-type Pokémon evolutions
Actually, this brings me to one point, what’s up with steles? They make runes, but they can’t when someone’s got demon blood in them. OKay that’s cool. They open certain doors, and start...vampire motorcycles? What can’t they do? Can they make me a chicken sandwich? These steles don’t seem to have much going for them, like Clare said, “LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE” then drops them off for bumblefuck reasoning. Their description?“It was a long, luminous cylinder, as thick around as an index finger and tapering to a point.”
Come on, gotta keep your subtlety in check, Clare.
Anywho, the only thing that made me want to gouge my eyes out were the similes and Clary Fray’s behavior. Other than that, everything was just okay. It wasn’t beautiful, fabulous, or pure genius. This is certainly not genius material. Stuff I write isn’t genius material either.
But it also wasn’t the very worst thing I’ve ever read. Twilight
, and Hush, Hush
far exceed this book on stupidity, plot, and What-the-flying-fuck. It is a decent read, but that’s all I can really say about it.
Read it if you want, go ahead.
I just know that I don’t have to go back to this book again for any reason.