** spoiler alert ** ...And here the Maximum Ride series has come full circle.

That's not a good thing, mind. It's not full circle like Bruce-Wayne-in-a-well-in-both-Batman-Begins-and-Dark-Knight-Rises. It's not full circle in the motif sense, like the repetition is artful and meaningful, nor is it full circle in the satisfying sense, like Harry and Voldemort facing off for the last time in Deathly Hallows.

No. This is full circle like James Patterson has totally and completely ran out of ideas.

The Flock is once again on their own, but Angel has been taken into the custody of evil scientists who are going to do unspeakable evils to her (unspeakable because dear Mr. Patterson never felt the need to actually explain what horrors these monsters were going to perform on her). Also, Fake Daddy Jeb is actually a bad guy. Oh, and remember Ari? Max's brother? Died twice? Yeah, he's back. Plus, the world's gonna end soon and we need Max to save us all.

Really, how is this not the Angel Experiment? Beyond the addition of a few unnecessary and expendable side characters (Maya, Dr. Martinez, my lovely Dylan and that stupid talking dog) and a tired, 'haven't we passed these trees before' feeling, nothing has really changed at all. Eight books later, it's like we're still stuck at square one.

And Square One: Round Eight is not a fun place to be. The characters and situations have been worn to the ground, and all that's really left to hold things together is unnecessary relationship angst. The big question for the book is: Fang or Dylan? And my big question: Why does this even need to be asked?

Even as Dylan builds Max a tree house for their date night, even as he's there for her to cry on, even as he says cute little things akin to "I'll always be there for you", even as Max fantasizes about those rippling arm muscles, I never for a moment doubted that Max would end up with Fang. Because YA love triangles don't work that way; the girl always, always, always chooses her first love. It's practically a law of nature. The fact that at least half of the 350 pages of Nevermore are dedicated to answering this question is pathetic.

Even more pathetic is the way Patterson built and destroyed Dylan's character. For the first 200 pages, he's golden, and Max is this close to saying the 'l' word to him. This wasn't upsetting to me; I always liked Dylan, and I was never super fond of Fang (fangirls: put down your guns). But then, Patterson needs to remind us how much of a pawn Dylan is by making him act like a jerk for pretty much no reason, and then by the end of the book, Max is back in Fang's arms, just like I knew she'd be. I was mad that most of the story seemed dedicated to this.

The rest of the plot was a frenzy of the following moments:
-Jeb is actually the bad guy (I swear, this has happened in at least five out of the eight books in this series. Really getting old now.)
-Dr. Martinez is actually the bad guy (whoa, like, didn't see that coming)
-Angel's getting experimented on and is dramatically disfigured and disabled. Wait, JK, it was all a hallucination
-The world is ending!
-The world is ending!
-Nudge has an older boyfriend
-The world is ending!

Yes, folks, it's the apocalypse Patterson has been promising us for the past eight books. Well, okay, it's the third apocalypse, but this is the real one, I swear. All of the comically stereotypical villains are in place and ready to launch the 99% Plan (scheisse, sounds like something out of Occupy Wallstreet), and it seems that humanity as we know it will end. Unless Max can save us.

I started wondering what this plan actually was about two-thirds of the way threw the book. Because even though we've been setting up for this apocalypse for at least the past two books, I still have no real idea of what's gonna happen. Patterson overcompensates by tossing in three explanations at the last minute: 1-mass plague will be unleashed via rainwater killing everyone (picture the fear gas from Batman Begins, but not as frightening or elegant), 2-Fang's DNA holds the key to immortality, which will actually kill us all (don't get me started), 3-Floods, fire and ash will consume everything.

How are these three things related? I have absolutely no idea whatsoever. It's like Patterson cobbled a bunch of loose ends together and hoped they would make us scared. It didn't work; he's been promising the end of the world for so long that the words have lost meaning. We know something bad will happen, but we also know that Max is gonna step in and save everyone, so at this point in the game, we don't even care, we just want it to be over.

But Patterson has actually thrown us a curveball and psyched us all out here, because Max doesn't actually save us all. Nope. The earth floods, continents are underwater and everyone dies except for the mutant freaks. They're on some genetically engineered island and will make it through everything, even with the corpses of seven plus billion people floating around them, which, just FYI, isn't their problem.

Are you kidding me?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Patterson, what kind of crap is this? Max is basically playing Jesus for the entire series, rambling on and on about how she's the answer, she's the end all, she's gonna save humanity because that's what she was made to do. And at the end of it all, when humanity actually needs her, what does she do?

Not. A. Bloody. Thing.

Humanity is pretty much over. Most, if not all of us are dead. In short, Patterson just drops the ball, and he drops it so openly, he's basically throwing it into the other team's goal (unsure of which sports metaphor I'm using, but I hope you get the gist). He even has Max monologue about it, try to make her copping out into some moral lesson, like 'it's good for us all to thing we're special cuz that's what makes us important', but seriously? He wussed out. He spends eight books building and building and building up Max's greatness, and then when her moment comes, when the world is actually in danger, when Gotham needs its hero, he basically just tries to shrug it off.

In case you didn't read the subtext, it's basically a big old "Screw you" to the readers who have wasted eight books worth of time and money.

So ultimately, that's why Nevermore gets one star. Not because it was pointless, or sucky or stupid or lame (all of which it was, but I could have let it slide with a two), but because at the end of eight books, Patterson can't even get the job done, and after three years of sticking with these books, I feel betrayed. So screw you, Maximum Ride, and feel the burn as thousands of fans throw their books down in disgust at the utter depravity of the cop out that is your ending.

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PS: James Patterson--if you're reading this, you're probably smiling, because some inconsequential teenager has her panties in a twist because she was disappointed (severely disappointed) with the ending of one of your books. To you, it won't matter at all; you're still fanning yourself with the money you made off of Nevermore. But I want you to know that the money was unjustly earned, because Nevermore is crap, and we readers deserved better. And you just blew us off. I hope you have enough of a soul to feel guilty about that. If not, have a nice life.

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The end. Really. But here's my pre-review, which earned some likes as well as hateful comments.

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Just to be my usual rebel self... Team Dylan. He's less mopey and emo than Fang. And I imagine he has better hair, too. And we all know what really counts in a guy *whispers* the hair.

Expect to get some nasty comments for that one.

UPDATE 2/4/12

What's up with the cover? Does James Patterson intend to set the book in Alaska?

And I thought Max's hair was blond-ish brown, not white...

Needless to say, I'm not a huge fan, but... at least it's less melodramatic than Angel.