Paul Bryant's Reviews > The Return of the Native

The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy
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Sep 02, 09

bookshelves: assorted-rants-about-stuff

From one of Monty Python's albums:

Commentator: Hello, and welcome to Dorchester, where a very good crowd has turned out to watch local boy Thomas Hardy write his new novel "The Return Of The Native", on this very pleasant July morning. This will be his eleventh novel and the fifth of the very popular Wessex novels, and here he comes! Here comes Hardy, walking out towards his desk. He looks confident, he looks relaxed, very much the man in form, as he acknowledges this very good natured bank holiday crowd. And the crowd goes quiet now, as Hardy settles himself down at the desk, body straight, shoulders relaxed, pen held lightly but firmly in the right hand. He dips the the ink, and he's off! It's the first word, but it's not a word - oh, no! - it's a doodle. Way up on the top of the lefthand margin is a piece of meaningless scribble - and he's signed his name underneath it! Oh dear, what a disappointing start. But he's off again - and here he goes - the first word of Thomas Hardy's new novel, at ten thirtyfive on this very lovely morning, it's three letters, it's the definite article, and it's "The". Dennis?

Dennis: Well, this is true to form, no surprises there. He started five of his eleven novels to date with the definite article. We had two of them with "It", there's been one "But", two "At"s, one "On" and a "Dolores", but that of course was never published.

Commentator: I'm sorry to interrupt you there, Dennis, but he's crossed it out. Thomas Hardy, here on the first day of his new novel, has crossed out the only word he has written so far, and he's gazing off into space. Oh, ohh, there he signed his name again.

Dennis: It looks like "Tess of the D'Urbervilles" all over again.

Commentator: But he', he's down again and writing, Dennis, he's written "B" again, he's crossed it out again, and he has written "A" - and there is a second word coming up straight away, and it's "Sat" - "A Sat" - doesn't make sense - "A Satur" - "A Saturday" - it's "A Saturday", and the crowd are loving it, they are really enjoying this novel. And it's "afternoon", it's "Saturday afternoon", a comfortable beginning, and he's straight on to the next word - it's "in" - "A Saturday afternoon in" - "in" - "in" "in Nov" - "November" - November is spelled wrong, he's left out the second "E", but he's not going back, it looks like he's going for the sentence, and it's the first verb coming up - it's the first verb of the novel, and it's "was", and the crowd are going wild! "A Saturday afternoon in November was", and a long word here - "appro" - "appro" - is it a "approving"? - no, it's "approaching" - "approaching" - "A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching" - and he's done the definite article "but" again. And he's writing fluently, easily with flowing strokes of the pen, as he comes up to the middle of this first sentence. And with this eleventh novel well underway, and the prospects of a good days writing ahead, back to the studio.
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06/08/2014 marked as: assorted-rants-about-stuff

Comments (showing 1-11)

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message 11: by Jessica (new)

Jessica Ah.....enjoyed that muchly. thanks Paul.
I was a huge Hardy fan, devoured his novels, one after the other, from about age 15 to teen years. His tragic romanticism went straight to my heart and burrowed there.

message 10: by John (new)

John I really am not a fan of Hardy... but thanks for the memory... boy how I chuckled... I shall dig out my old LP's and give them a spin...

message 9: by Natalie (new)

Natalie lol !

message 8: by Megha (new)

Megha Is this from one of Monty Python sketches or one of from their movies?

message 7: by Paul (new) - added it

Paul Bryant from one of their long-playing records

message 6: by Megha (new)

Megha Paul wrote: "from one of their long-playing records"

Oh I wasn't aware of those. Thanks for the tip.

message 5: by Megha (new)

Megha Ah I found it on YouTube. Pretty cool :)

message 4: by Mary (new) - rated it 1 star

Mary Much better than the book!

Christina I forgot all about this and at the time I heard it I did not know Thomas Hardy. Thanks for sparking my memory now that I know the author.

message 2: by Paul (last edited May 21, 2014 12:59PM) (new) - added it

Paul Bryant you're welcoms - I regret to say that Monty Python are doing a comeback tour this year in Britain.

David Sarkies This sketch brings back way more memories than the novel itself does.

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