~ Lei ~ Reading Is An Adventure ~'s Reviews > Hurt

Hurt by Varian Krylov
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Mar 12, 2016

it was amazing
bookshelves: content-drug-use, a-ebook, from-fictionwise, outcome-hea, sexual-mix-m-f, sexual-mix-m-m, sexual-mix-m-m-f, sexual-mix-m-f-m, genre-menage, z-read-in-2011-ereader, a-stand-alone, content-cancer, sexcontent-voyeur-exhibitionism, a-its-a-reread, character-out-for-you, sexcontent-bdsm-elements, a-length-151-399-pages, character-artist, character-damaged-body, character-interracial-multicultural, character-survivor, genre-erotica, outcome-permanent-menage, sex-erotic, sex-good-and-smutty, sexcontent-anal-play-sex, sexcontent-oral-play-sex, character-abuse-survivor, character-actor-actress, genre-dark-erotica, sex-my-naughty-fantasies, sexcontent-masturbation, sexcontent-menage-scene, z-read-in-2014-ereader, a-favorites, a-own, character-author, character-rentboy-or-sex-industry, sexcontent-awakening-or-acceptance, sexcontent-bareback, sexcontent-pegging, sexcontent-rape-fantasy, a-comfort-read, character-bisexual-fluid
Recommended for: Dark Erotica Readers Who Want Well-Written Story
Read in July, 2011 , read count: 3


ETA 5/2014: With talk of a June release of Dangerously Happy Dangerously Happy by Varian Krylov, thought it was time for a reread of this favorite book to see if my feelings for it are still warranted. I've read many books since my original reading in July 2011 and several rereads since and I'm happy to say, this still stands head and shoulders above many of the books I've read since then.

~~~Original Review - Edited a bit~~~
Vanka met Galen Ross in an unusual way 5 hours after she had broken up with boyfriend of two years. Vanka and Galen both had big secrets - Vanka was 27 years old and had just had a lumpectomy - her mother dead at 29 (Vanka was 6) and her aunt dead at 31 of breast cancer and she's strongly considering a preemptive double mastectomy and Galen had a longtime male lover, Khalid (who had his own dark secret to deal with) whom he had met in France when he was shooting a movie. The relationship between the three stumbled and grew. Trust was a strong issue for all three.

However, what I think is really important about this book is how the two men resolved their differences and Galen can accept his feelings for Khalid and Vanka was able to heal from her double mastectomy and how each man in his own way accepted her warts and all and made her believe again and and made this a strong permanent menage, each contributing their own strengths to the others' weaknesses.

This is one of the best mmf menage books I've read and it's definitely a reread for me.

~~~A ReRead - Don't know when though
ETA - this is one of those that will stay with me. I just reread - this author doesn't sugarcoat things. I understand the feelings and motivations of the characters. Since I have not had cancer, I don't know if the story is realistic but it rings true to me.
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Quotes ~ Lei ~ Reading Is An Adventure ~ Liked

Varian Krylov
“Which side is yours?”
“They're both mine,” he answered mirthfully, having gotten a good bit of teasing over the years for his indiscriminate sprawling. “Take whichever side you like, and be prepared to defend it.”
Varian Krylov, Hurt
tags: humor

Varian Krylov
“Khalid?” It was dark now, and she couldn't see his face, but she knew he was right there, an inch or two from their last kiss. “What was that look? Earlier, after we'd finished?”
There was a long silence in the dark before Khalid finally spoke.
“It is only that it has been a long time since I have made love.” There was another long quiet. She waited for him. “Of course, I love Galen. But you know already, we are only tender when we are not f****ing. And you and I, we were tender, before, but we did not feel then as we feel now.”
“I had forgotten how big that feeling is.”
Vanka pulled Khalid to her, cradling his naked body against hers.”
Varian Krylov, Hurt

Varian Krylov
“I just feel so guilty.” Her stinging eyes burned with fresh tears. “I don't know why I can't ... I can't...”
“Make love to him?”
She nodded.
“Let him see you?”
She nodded again, tears sliding down her face. She mopped them up with the wet tissue she'd wadded in her fist.
“Are you scared he won't love you anymore, after he's seen how you look now?” her dad asked gently.
“Are you scared he won't be attracted to you anymore? That he won't want to be your lover?”
“What are you scared of, Vanka?”
“I don't feel the same way about myself, now. I don't even know how to explain it. I'm not ashamed. I don't feel ugly. But the way I was, who I was when we ... when we fell in love, I'm not that person, now.”
“You're not in love with him anymore?”
“I am,” her voice broke on a sob. “So in love. Like I never knew it could be. I thought I loved David. I thought I loved Mark. But, god, Dad, the way I love Galen...”
Varian Krylov, Hurt

Varian Krylov
“But looking at you was nothing like looking at those pictures. When I first saw,” he said, looking down at her chest, then up again to meet her eyes, “it hurt, almost a physical pain. Since you finished chemo, you've gotten so strong again. Sometimes I almost forget what you've been through. But seeing your scars, they reminded me of your hurt. How you've been cut apart. What you gave up.”

It was important, not keeping herself back from him, putting parts of herself off limits. But it stung when he sank down to brush his lips over the two biggest scars.

“But your scars are beautiful. I mean, I look at them, and I want to kiss, I want to touch, I feel this tenderness for them. You know how when you love someone, when you've been with them a long time and you know all the little lines and curves and planes of their body, how you look at little parts of them—the corner of their mouth, the back of their hand, the little crease where their earlobe meets their jaw—and you can feel like you're in love with that little piece of them? Maybe soon, I'll look at your scars like that. But right now, it's this feeling I've never had for a part of someone's body, before, because they promise me you're well. That you get to live. That we get to have a long life together.”

Her love for him was swelling up in her chest, the way it did sometimes, an ache she wanted to hold on to.”
Varian Krylov, Hurt

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message 1: by ~ Lei ~ Reading Is An Adventure ~ (last edited May 17, 2014 09:34PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

~ Lei ~ Reading Is An Adventure ~ A new Krylov! Dangerously Happy Dangerously Happy by Varian Krylov - Explicit Excerpt: http://variankrylov.blogspot.com/2014...

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