Morgan F's Reviews > Sometimes It Happens

Sometimes It Happens by Lauren Barnholdt
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Hannah spends the first few days of her summer vacation before her senior year crying her eyes out and eating ice cream after she catches her boyfriend, Sebastian, making out with some girl at a party. Not exactly an auspicious start to a summer. What makes it worse is that Hannah's best friend, Ava, is totally ditching her this summer to become a camp counselor in Maine. Hannah, in an effort just to get her ass out of bed, gets a job in a diner along with Ava's boyfriend, Noah, and a hypochondriac redhead named...(crap, I forgot her name)....Lacey? The job at the diner is exactly what Hannah needs to get out of her funk, but things become tricky again when Hannah starts to develop feelings for Ava's boyfriend, which become more and more substantial as the summer goes on. Opening up on the dramatic first day of senior year, the truth about what exactly happened over the summer is revealed, changing the friendships and relationships of the characters forever (or at least a teenage version of forever).

Okay, I forced myself to write that painful, badly-written summary because I didn't want this review to be entirely consisted of ranting. I need at least one semi-pleasant paragraph so I don't seem like a raging bitch.

So now that that's over...... I FUCKING HATED THIS BOOK.

Sorry, I cuss when annoyed.

I have decided Barnholdt is not my cup of tea. This is the second book I read of hers, and both of them have received one star and a punch in the face. Maybe, one day, I shall read one her books again, if her main characters ever grow a brain and if the writing ever evolves from 'LIKE TOTALLY OHMIGOD'.

This book has 34 updates from me. 34 times when I absolutely could not take it anymore and had to publicly announce the stupidity of this book or else my brain would explode. I wish 34 was just the number of times I was annoyed with this book. That number is more like 1, 150, but I could not drag the book on any longer.

Hannah is an idiot. A self-absorbed, worthless idiot with no common sense and no interests beyond Starbucks and her love life. I swear, this girl was depressed about one guy or another for literally 90% of the novel. I have no patience for worthless teenage girls. I am a teenage girl, and I encounter idiots every day. But my god, this book makes it seem like being an idiot is a happy normal thing to do. Sure, everyone is gonna have some drama or another, but it is not the basis for their existence. Hannah was a boring, stupid character. I can't believe some of the things she said. It was like HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO FUNCTION, YOU DUMB TROLL. My god, get a LIFE, girl.

And honestly, she deserved every bit of what was coming to her. Her sleeping with her best friend's boyfriend (the goodreads summary says it was just a "passionate kiss" but it lies) was a long time coming. She could feel herself developing feelings for him and she purposely sought him out. For all the hell her ex-boyfriend put her through, you would think she would have better sense than that. It's not like she didn't know it was wrong, her endless fretting made it clear she knew it was wrong, but she let herself do it anyway. It's kind of like my banana complex. That probably sounds really dirty, but let me explain. *clears throat* I run into bananas. In MarioKart. I can't help myself, I drive right frickin into them. It's not like I don't see them, it's not like I don't want to win (several broken Game Cube controllers over the years can attest to how badly I want to win). But I run into them anyway. One time my brother asked me why I do it, and I didn't even have a response. The reason is probably very profound, or its something as stupid as thinking its fun when my car spins in circles.

So yeah, the whole situation between Hannah and Ava and Noah is kind of like that. But I hate that fucking saying "sometimes it happens". How horribly cliched and pussy-footed is that? "Oops, sometimes my best friend's boyfriend's penis just ends up in my vagina. It just happens.' BULLSHIT. SOMETIMES MY FOOT JUST HAPPENS TO GO UP YOUR ASS. At least, Hannah or Noah never tries to justify their actions, but they still piss me off. I felt like it all was handled in a light sort of inconsequential way. Yes, there was a scream-out in the hall and a fight in the diner, but those didn't seem like long-lasting consequences. There should have been more emotional turmoil than just Hannah moping endlessly. I don't want to get preachy about high school romance and infidelity either, so I'll end it here. But cheating still sucks, no matter how old you are or how serious the relationship is.

I just felt that everything about this book was poor quality. The writing felt like it came from the brain of an illiterate 14-year-old with no real problems except if she'll be home in time to watch Jersey Shore. The characters were either tremendously flat or tremendously annoying or both. The plot was predictable and pretty eventless.

And to top it all off, the main character thought Sting was Bono. WHAT. THE. HELL.

I think I'm done with this book now, guys. I'm just done with it.
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Reading Progress

07/09 page 2
1.0% "Uh-oh. Stupid best friend alert. How can it have taken you for forever to find her if she literally parked 2 seconds before you showed up?"
07/09 page 3
1.0% "Stupid best friend alert #2. Yes, lets give caffeine to someone IN ORDER TO CALM THEIR NERVES"
07/09 page 5
2.0% "This girl just got rear-ended and she is thinking about the other driver's pants. Silly me, I would be thinking something along the lines of "HOLY SHIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED. IS ANYTHING BROKEN? DID ANYONE DIE? MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"" 3 comments
07/09 page 6
2.0% ""She's obviously one of those goth girls,who, like, pretends they are over everything, but inside is about five seconds away from crying constantly. Seriously, goth girls cannot handle anything." ANGERRRRR SENTENCE" 1 comment
07/09 page 12
4.0% "Good Lord. Okay, this girl, Ava, chews gum for precisely two seconds to make her breath minty fresh before spitting it out because she doesn't like gum. uuummm, breath mints, anyone?"
07/09 page 27
8.0% "Yay for self-medication!!"
07/09 page 40
13.0% "like like like ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod. GET A NEW VOCABULARY" 5 comments
07/09 page 44
14.0% "Good Heavens, he took three free samples. He is the greediest bastard on earth!!" 2 comments
07/09 page 59
18.0% "*cue fanfare* Congratulations, Hannah, on being inducted into my characters-i-wannna-shoot shelf!!! You win a punch in the face!!" 2 comments
07/09 page 74
23.0% "First, this characters says a really common expression, then the author says how its a joke, then she goes on to explain the joke. The author must think I'm as stupid as her narrator."
07/09 page 75
23.0% "Talking about math in math class? How awful!"
07/09 page 107
07/09 page 127
40.0% "The word is "hypochondriac". Stop beating around the bush."
07/09 page 129
40.0% "STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO TALK ABOUT. "talk about this" "talk about that" TALK ABOUT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP" 1 comment
07/09 page 137
43.0% "Justin Timberlake concerts are actually pretty awesome, just saying."
07/09 page 148
46.0% "Ava is a bossypants."
07/10 page 166
52.0% "Stop being such a pussyfoot!!" 1 comment
07/10 page 169
53.0% "Shut up, Hannah."
07/10 page 174
54.0% "This girl is mentally deficient."
07/11 page 185
58.0% "Good plan, Hannah. You totally have the mental capacity to keep something a secret for more than 12 hours."
07/11 page 186
58.0% ""I mean, isn't high school just a string of lie-changing moments interspersed with football games, prom, and homework?" No." 1 comment
07/11 page 188
59.0% "Yes, he "got you naked", Hannah. Way to make it seem completely passive on your part." 1 comment
07/11 page 189
59.0% "Bitch."
07/11 page 195
61.0% "Every time I think its impossible for her to become any more vapid, she outdoes herself."
07/11 page 217
68.0% "I hate "newsflash". Newsflash, Hannah, you are annoying and I hate you!" 1 comment
07/11 page 219
68.0% "Ha! Its a miracle! She finally said something funny!"
07/11 page 220
69.0% "Two in a row! Wow, Hannah, keep this up and my hatred of you shall turn into a mild dislike."
07/11 page 223
70.0% "Now Barnholdt is trying to turn the best friend into a bitch so I will become more willing to sympathize with the fact that Hannah slept with her freaking boyfriend. Not gonna happen." 4 comments
07/11 page 225
70.0% "Blah blah blah "inexcusable". If a guy I liked told me anything I did was "inexcusable" (except for perhaps spitting on their grandmother), I would smack them in the face."
07/11 page 230
72.0% "Hannah, you might have just said the most offensive thing yet. Apparently, all guys have difficulty comprehending feelings and just want to "fist fight and get it over with""
07/11 page 272
85.0% "This galley expires in an hour and a half. I'm tempted to let it."
07/11 page 273
07/11 page 290
91.0% "Lets get this straight, Hannah. You do NOT have PTSD."
07/11 page 312
03/28 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-21)

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message 21: by oliviasbooks (new)

oliviasbooks Oho.

message 20: by Fred (new) - rated it 4 stars

Fred Donneven

message 19: by Valerie (new)

Valerie Reading your updates and review have me cracking up. Now I know to avoid this book.

message 18: by Sandy (new) - rated it 1 star

Sandy I HATED this book. Hated, hated, hated. The title made me so angry. Yeah, sometimes cheating just happens??? Like there was no choice??? This was like a bad soap opera with teenagers--so melodramatic with nothing going on but who's cheating on who.

message 17: by Flannery (new)

Flannery Can you explain the Sting/Bono thing? I am just at a loss how that wasn't caught in editing...

message 16: by Sally (new) - added it

Sally "I have decided Barnholdt is not my cup of tea." made me laugh out loud! I admire your restraint there ;)

Morgan F Flannery wrote: "Can you explain the Sting/Bono thing? I am just at a loss how that wasn't caught in editing..."

No, it was the author that got confused, it was Hannah.

Why did she decide to make Hannah so pop-culturely illiterate, I have no idea.

Noah tried to get her to listen to Sting and she was all "the guy in the wraparound sunglasses?". I was like NOOOOOO. NO. NO. NO.

People should not make those kinds of mistakes.

Morgan F Now Roxanne is stuck in my head.

message 13: by Beth (new)

Beth "But I hate that fucking saying "sometimes it happens". How horribly cliched and pussy-footed is that? "Oops, sometimes my best friend's boyfriend's penis just ends up in my vagina. It just happens.' BULLSHIT. SOMETIMES MY FOOT JUST HAPPENS TO GO UP YOUR ASS."

by far my favourite part.

message 12: by Beth (new)

Beth and effing hilarious.

message 11: by Arlene (new)

Arlene Banana complex, huh??? Where Nic's dancing banana when i need? LOL I knew this was not going to be pretty after the 5th update. : /

message 10: by K. (new)

K. Hilarious review! I almost want you to read Personal Demons...I say almost because it will certainly not be a good time but I kinda desperately want you to bash it in a review.

Jessica I agree Morgan! This book made me want to scream.

Jessica Oh, and I LOVE this review :)

message 7: by Kogiopsis (new)

Kogiopsis, this sounds annoying as fuck. The idea of someone who just got cheated on doing the same thing to her best friend - wtf lack of empathy much?

Morgan F I know. This book just angers me. ANGERS ME

message 5: by JD (new) - rated it 1 star

JD Switz LMFAO! FOR REAL! You just said it all right there.
"But I hate that fucking saying "sometimes it happens". How horribly cliched and pussy-footed is that? "Oops, sometimes my best friend's boyfriend's penis just ends up in my vagina. It just happens.' BULLSHIT. SOMETIMES MY FOOT JUST HAPPENS TO GO UP YOUR ASS."

I think I almost fell out of my seat with that one. You know what? I hated this book, too. I've never met a teen like Hannah...and I never want to. I'm glad to see a review from a REALISTIC teen's perspective.

message 4: by Katie (new)

Katie I didn't hate this book as much as you did but your review is just fucking hilarious! :]

message 3: by Josephine (new)

Josephine 'Sometimes my best friend's boyfriend's penis just ends up in my vagina'.

message 2: by Sabrine (new)

Sabrine Just saw your review for lauren barnholdt's other book two way street hahahhahah now im not reading this book or the other one lol

message 1: by Thea (new)

Thea Jonassen HAHHAHAHA: SOMETIMES MY FOOT JUST HAPPENS TO GO UP YOUR ASS!!! made my day. Tho i liked your whole review so :)

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