Hp Tan's Reviews > If I Die

If I Die by Rachel Vincent
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Feb 04, 12

bookshelves: series, ya
Read from January 30 to February 04, 2012

I cannot remember what exactly it was about My Soul To Steal that made me anticipate If I Die like mad. But when I saw If I Die in the library, I just about did a victory dance. It was disappointing, though.

I hadn't read the blurb of the book before I started reading, so I didn't know Kaylee was apparently going to die. (view spoiler)

The main disappointment for me was that the book seemed to lack a focus point. Or rather, it focused on something I wish it didn't, not really. I love Tod. I really do. He is so drool-worthy!! But it seemed like the focus of the book was on the love triangle, and I wish it didn't have to be so. I liked how Kaylee worked through her issues with Nash; that was very well-written, and had a positive message to teenage (and non-teenage) readers, but it was like that was the main focus of the book while the part about the demonic math teacher was just a side show..

I did like that Kaylee had finally realised her feelings about Tod and Tod's feelings about herself, but it annoyed me some that it took an entire book to get through all that. I love the twist at the end of the book, however. It provides a rather neat solution to the Kaylee/Todd problem..

Nash just keeps being portrayed as a jerk, though. I remember when he was an amazing boyfriend, too. I'm sure that's a deliberate portrayal of the guy, and it does explain Kaylee's hurt and disappointment with him. I'm kind of surprised that he is so mad at Kaylee (view spoiler). Surely he should know she had her reasons? It doesn't actually make sense for me.

I feel sad to give it a 3-star rating, but it'll have to be.. I do hope the next book will be better!!
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Quotes Hp Liked

Rachel Vincent
“You just say the word, and I'll make the rest of the world go away. I'll take you someplace safe, where no one else can reach us.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“How long can you keep me invisible?"
"As long as were in physical contact."
My throat felt dry. "Holding hands?" That's how we'd done it last time.
"Unless you had something else in mind?”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“I could have kissed you months ago, but it wouldn’t have meant anything. I wished for you to see me. And want me. So…did you mean it?”
“Yes,” I said, and some unnamed tension inside me eased. “I see you, Tod.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“He shrugged, looking right into my eyes. "Right now, this is all I feel." He held our intertwined hands up for me to see and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't break the hold his gaze had on me, like he could see more than anyone else saw. Things I couldn't see myself.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“You know, most girls sleep with a teddy bear or an extra pillow. But I gotta say, that's kinda hot...”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“Only two years dead, and it was getting harder for me to feel…anything. I was starting to slip into the darkness. The numbness. And the worst part is that it wasn’t even scary. I was losing myself, and I didn’t even care. Then I met you, and at first I didn’t understand what had happened. What had changed. All I knew was that I wanted to be near you. Then you helped me with Addison, even though it nearly got you killed—I nearly got you killed—and I started to understand how special you are. But by then, you were getting serious with Nash. With my brother—one of few people in the whole world I still gave a damn about. So I tried to stay away. I tried so hard.” His voice cracked on the last word, and my heart cracked with it. Tears stood in my eyes, but I was afraid to let them fall. I was afraid to even breathe for fear of missing a single word. "But you kept pulling me back. You’re the brightest thing I’ve ever seen, Kaylee. You’re this beautiful ball of fire spitting sparks out at the world, burning fiercely, holding back the dark by sheer will. And I always knew that if I reached out—if I tried to touch you—I’d get burned. Because you’re not mine. I’m not supposed to feel the fire. I’m not supposed to want it. But I do. I want you, Kaylee, like I’ve never wanted anything. Ever. I want the fire. I want the heat, and the light, and I want the burn.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“That's because Tod never brings anything but death and bad advice," I snapped.
"That's not true." Tod tried to grin, "Sometimes I bring pizza.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“There's a good kind of crazy, Kaylee," he insisted softly, reaching out to wrap his warm hand around mine. "It's the kind that makes you think about things that make your head hurt, because not thinking about them is the coward's way out. The kind that makes you touch people who bruise your soul, just because they need to be touched. This is the kind of crazy that lets you stare out into the darkness and rage at eternity, while it stares back at you, ready to swallow you whole."

Tod leaned closer, staring into my eyes so intently I was sure he could see everything I was thinking, but too afraid to say. "I've seen you fight, Kaylee. I've seen you step into that darkness for someone else, then claw your way out, bruised, but still standing. You're that kind of crazy, and I live in that darkness. Together, we'd take crazy to a whole new level.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“So ... will you stay with me until it's over? Please?"
"Kaylee, I would do anything for the girl who granted my dying wish.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“You're the brightest thing I've ever seen, Kaylee. You're this beautiful ball of fire spitting sparks out at the world, burning fiercely, holding back the dark by sheer will. And I always knew that if I reached out -- if i tried to touch you -- I'd get burned. Because you're not mine. I'm not supposed to feel the fire. I'm not supposed to want it. But I do. I want you, Kaylee, like I've never wanted anything. Ever. I want the fire. I want the heat, and the light, and I want the burn.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die
tags: fire

Rachel Vincent
“Did we ever find out for sure about the possible forked penis?”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“I'm dead, not impotent. Nasty rumors like that must be squashed before they gain momentum. Feel free to emphasize how very functional I am.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“I wanted more firsts with Tod. But all I had left was a handful of lasts.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“My pulse whooshed in my ears so fast I could barely hear myself speak. “I only have—”
“Two days.” He squeezed my hand. “So what? You can spend them feeling sorry for yourself, or you can let me help make them the best two days
of your life, and my afterlife. So what’s it gonna be?”
I stared into his eyes, like I’d never seen him before. And I hadn’t—not like this. But he’d obviously seen me, better than anyone else ever had.
“Well?” Tod watched me, his hand still warm in mine.
In answer, I leaned forward and kissed him again.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“There’s an us?”
“As far as I’m concerned…” He leaned forward, his mouth inches from mine, and my pulse spiked. “There’s nothing but us.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“Alec rolled beautiful brown eyes. "No fair playing the death card."
"No fair having it to play.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“I should have mixed something stronger than Coke floats.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die
tags: humor

Rachel Vincent
“Leave the door open," my dad said, the second most common warning in his arsenal. Right behind, "Nash, go home.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die


Reading Progress

01/31/2012 "Why is Kaylee making that deal with Sabine? I don't like it.. It's like she's so noble and all. It doesn't really make sense, to me. Yes, she doesn't want Nash to hurt after she's gone..but that's just too dramatic a move to make, no?? The Beck thing is rather sudden too.."

Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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Krista (One Love) (Critical) Wait, let me get this...you're confused as to why Nash is mad...that Kaylee FRAMED HIM FOR MURDER!? How would you feel if YOUR ex framed you for murder? Lol.


message 2: by Hp (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hp Tan Krista (One Love) (Critical) wrote: "Wait, let me get this...you're confused as to why Nash is mad...that Kaylee FRAMED HIM FOR MURDER!? How would you feel if YOUR ex framed you for murder? Lol."

But shouldn't Nash know Kaylee well enough that he'd see something is amiss in all that? For instance, wouldn't Nash be wondering why the world would Kaylee even be involved with a murder in the first place? If he realised that, he should also have realised how weird it was that Kaylee would then push the blame onto him, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I get that they're exes but I believe enough in Nash to think he'd have that much intelligence to at least suspect what just appeared to be on the surface. :)


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