Anna Pravdica's Reviews > The Goddess Test

The Goddess Test by Aimee Carter
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Mar 11, 13

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bookshelves: mythology, could-be-better-could-be-worse, mixed-feelings
Read from May 07 to 25, 2011

2.5 stars

Here's the thing about this book: it was decent enough. Not nearly as good as what I was hoping for, but decent.

Now, I have been in the midst of a passionate love affair with Greek mythology since the 2nd grade. I am perpetually in the throes of a burning passion, you may say. I love it all - it's like a soap opera times 100. Greek mythology contains some of the most entertaining and delightfully sinful stories I have ever had the pleasure of reading, telling, reenacting....Anyway, did you hear that, Ms. Carter? Sinful was the key word, there. And here leads to what I didn't like about this book.

The. Greek. Gods. Sinned. Like. Motherfuckers. Literally, if you catch my drift. (Sorry, children.)

Look, I understand - and appreciate - artistic license. You can bend your material a bit. But when you have ZEUS - the king (haha, pun!) of promiscuity saying that lust is wrong...? You know you've done something wrong. You made a wrong turn somewhere, Ms. Carter.

Let us ponder.

I think I know.

YOU COMBINED GREEK MYTHOLOGY AND CHRISTIAN IDEALISM.

Look, both mythologies are interesting in their own right (sorry to anyone who may be offended by my referring to Christianity as a mythology, btw - it's just how I look at it), and I'm willing to entertain the idea that everyone goes where they imagine/want when they die, and I even kind of like that idea (unoriginal as it is), to an extent. But do you realize that Greek mythology came about before Jesus was even a twinkle in the great God's eye? Zeus was fucking his sister in peace thousands of years before that, Ms. Carter. Shall I draw you a time line? I think I shall!

A REALLY LONG ASS TIME AGO: Kronos ate his kids.
A LONG ASS TIME AGO: Zeus married his sister, killed his father with the help of his brothers (Word of the Day: Fratricide!), and fucked every other female member of his family.
A LONG TIME AGO: Jesus came out of Mary's magnificently holy vagina.

Was that skillfully crude time line enlightening?

I really hope so. Wanna know why? Because I actually have some hopes for this trilogy.

And here is where I talk about what I actually kinda liked about this book and why I gave it (almost) three stars.

1) Kate's relationship with her mother (Demeter) really was lovely. It felt real and Kate's motivations and feelings behind it were probably her most redeemable and interesting qualities. The relationship between Kate and her mother was probably the strongest in the book.

2) I liked Kate and Henry (Hades) enough (Oh, Lord, that is a sad statement. Enough? That's just depressing). Especially 'cause he's Hades, and I've always had a soft spot for him. However, his character portrayal was...lacking. The occasional fits of rage were good, because that's fitting for any Greek god, really, but now I feel I must touch on the most ridiculous thing this entire book managed to spout out: HE'S A VIRGIN. A virgin, I tell you. I'm really tired of these immortal and supposedly drop-dead sexy (and yet another pun) men in these YA books who never manage to get laid. Oh, I know! Maybe he's saving it for the Lord.

*snort*

3) I didn't see that shit with Calliope coming. You got me there, Ms. Carter, I'll admit it. It was a fairly decent twist.

4) This book wasn't entirely boring. Kate held my attention well enough. I don't hate her. I don't love her, but I don't hate her. She's kind of on the fence for me right now. We'll see how the second book goes.

5) The book smelled amazing.

And so, if Ms. Carter can pull her shit together and stop talking down to us good readers, and cut it out with that Seven Sins bullshit, and let Henry fuck I will enjoy the second book. I really will, Ms. Carter. Overall, you had a good idea. So please, please, grant my wishes and don't let me down like most books I read nowadays. Please?

PS - I feel I should add this in: Look at that cover. That is one beautiful cover. Sometimes I pull this down from the shelf just to smell/ogle it. I am a binding whore, admittedly. (I know that that sounds wrong, don't feel the need to point out the poor word choice as an attempt to save me from future word vomit.)
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Quotes Anna Liked

Aimee Carter
“I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.”
Aimee Carter, The Goddess Test


Reading Progress

05/23/2011 page 229
75.0%
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Comments (showing 1-28)




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message 28: by Vinaya (last edited Jun 08, 2011 11:11PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Vinaya Haha, I love this review! I'm just wondering where this book is going in the sequel because TGT is a pretty self-contained book in and of itself. Which might quite possibly be the only thing in its favour, in my book!


message 27: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica It's gonna be a trilogy- the second one comes out in January, I think.
Thanks! The summary is already up on here, and apparently it goes something like this:
Henry is getting annoyed of Kate like everyone else, and he gets kidnapped by Kronos who is the better option, and Kate goes to the EX WIFE for help.
Yeah.
I would have liked it more, actually, had it been a stand alone.


message 26: by Kim (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kim awesome review !! The way the gods were portrayed in the story made me laugh since they were so far from the original mythology but the book kept me interested and I finished it I agree that it should be a stand alone ..


message 25: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Kim wrote: "awesome review !! The way the gods were portrayed in the story made me laugh since they were so far from the original mythology but the book kept me interested and I finished it I agree that it sh..."

It would have definitely been better as a stand alone. Apparently Persephone is coming into the next book, which should be interesting, and I'll probably read the entire trilogy considering that while some aspects of it annoyed me, I didn't absolutely loath it. She kept me interested enough and I didn't hate Kate either. I'm just hoping she'll make the characters a bit more three-dimensional and leave all of the seven sins crap out of it.
Oh, and thank you!


message 24: by Kim (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kim I'll probably continue the series just because it keep be interested and too see where it goes. The less 7 sins stuff the better.


message 23: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Kim wrote: "I'll probably continue the series just because it keep be interested and too see where it goes. The less 7 sins stuff the better."

Agreed. :)


message 22: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Brynne wrote: "This. Was. Hilarious. Hilariously true."

Thanks, and unfortunately, yes, it is isn't it?


Wadzanai Mufunde God of bad-assery! Totally! I was a little annoyed with Hades' portrayal too. THe V-card is what did it for me too. But I'm just glad that he wasn't portrayed as evil. But Zeus saying that nonsense? Ha! I guessed over half of the god's identities before I checked the back. And I knew who Hermes was first. But the Calliope thing? I did not see that coming! And what was with Artemis? Why would she like 18th century dresses so much? You know what? Her tasks should have been monster killing and Artemis should have been her tutor.


message 20: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Wadzanai wrote: "God of bad-assery! Totally! I was a little annoyed with Hades' portrayal too. THe V-card is what did it for me too. But I'm just glad that he wasn't portrayed as evil. But Zeus saying that nonsense..."

Yeah, I definitely enjoy any retelling of Hades in which he is not portrayed as evil, but I definitely don't want him to be some poor soul who has yet to get his V-Card punched. And the portrayal of Zeus was just ridiculous. So ridiculous. And I agree about Artemis! Carter makes her all girly when really she should be one of the most badass people around.


Wadzanai Mufunde The only think that made sense was Hera being mean. But her falling for Hades? Puh-leez! She isn't the goddess of MARRIAGE for no reason. And the whole fourteen Olympians thing was weird. I read Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian and found it kinda funny that it wasn't Hades. It was Hestia. The others don't want anything to do with him. His brothers screwed him over so that they got the best parts of the world to rule. Talk about casting the short straw. I hated Poseidon's portrayal. Whilst I know he loves horses, he isn't some loner who wants nothing to do with other people. If it was all an act than I suppose I can deal with it, and you can't make EVERY god prominent, I suppose. But it would have been nice to see Ares.


message 18: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Wadzanai wrote: "The only think that made sense was Hera being mean. But her falling for Hades? Puh-leez! She isn't the goddess of MARRIAGE for no reason. And the whole fourteen Olympians thing was weird. I read P..."

I agree, definitely. Hera may have been a spiteful bitch, but she never went and cheated on Zeus, she just got rid of the women he cheated on her with. And I agree with you on Poseidon's portrayal - especially because in mythology he and Demeter have a very close relationship, and it would have been interesting to see that. Also, he was just as much a player as Zeus, and in no way a loner. And we do see Ares! He's Dylan.


Wadzanai Mufunde Anna wrote: "And we do see Ares! He's Dylan"

Yeah but he didn't do much except for perv up on Kate :(


message 16: by Jennifer (last edited Jun 28, 2012 09:04PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jennifer I feel like it wasn't supposed to BE the Greek gods, rather reinterpret them and their concepts. The only thing about the first book I felt strangely about was the seven sins part.

On the plus side, the second book...

-Second book spoiler-

...did get rid of the seven sins piece. Kate got pissed and asked the council why they made her go through it and they pretty much said that they never bothered themselves- it was just the test. Oh, and they do fuck. And he wasn't a virgin, that was a rumor. The second book made me like the first more.


message 15: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Jennifer wrote: "I feel like it wasn't supposed to BE the Greek gods, rather reinterpret them and their concepts. The only thing about the first book I felt strangely about was the seven sins part.

On the plus sid..."


That's good to hear. And oh yeah, I heard that he and Persephone fucked once, on their wedding night, and it sucked? XD


message 14: by Zara (new) - rated it 2 stars

Zara Haha, I pretty much felt the same way. Great review!


message 13: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Zara wrote: "Haha, I pretty much felt the same way. Great review!"

Thanks!


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

Have read the synopsis for the third book? FUCKING CRONUS MAKES AN APPEARANCE.


message 11: by Sam (new) - added it

Sam omg i have wanted to read this book but i havn't. i loved your review as much as i love greek gods (i.e ALOT). it was insight ful but i hope that it is a little better than what you said because a book witha cover that fucking beautiful should be amazing. Or else. (i know that goes agianst book principles like don't judge a book by its cover, but.. still)


message 10: by Anna (new) - rated it 3 stars

Anna Pravdica Alkyoni ~ Kingfisher of books wrote: "Have read the synopsis for the third book? FUCKING CRONUS MAKES AN APPEARANCE."

WHAT. Does he try to eat his kids again? I wouldn't put it past him.


Anna Pravdica Sam wrote: "omg i have wanted to read this book but i havn't. i loved your review as much as i love greek gods (i.e ALOT). it was insight ful but i hope that it is a little better than what you said because a..."

Thanks! And I agree with those sentiments. The cover is guh-guh-gorgeous, but the inside fails to match the sheer beauty it exhibits. Sigh.


Emily Fitz Gerald This was the greatest review I have ever read. You could not be more correct with every thing you said about this book


message 7: by Ymb (new) - rated it 4 stars

Ymb Good review but Hades isn't virgin, in the second book he talk about that. :)


Anna Pravdica Emily wrote: "This was the greatest review I have ever read. You could not be more correct with every thing you said about this book"

High praise! Thank you very much.


Anna Pravdica Ymb wrote: "Good review but Hades isn't virgin, in the second book he talk about that. :)"

I've heard! I haven't read the second book yet, although I've managed to get a hold of both it and the final installment. I'll probably have a lot to say in my review about Henry's not-being-a-virgin once I read the second one. Tune in.


message 4: by Philippa (new)

Philippa I'm loling because this is what I've kinda heard about this book? I feel vindicated for being wary of it now. Altho it does mean that now I have to go cry over the fact that I still haven't found another good Greek myth series fix sigh.


Anna Pravdica Philippa wrote: "I'm loling because this is what I've kinda heard about this book? I feel vindicated for being wary of it now. Altho it does mean that now I have to go cry over the fact that I still haven't found a..."

Actually tho that is the story of my life?

I tend to be pretty disappointed with popular Hades/Persephone fiction in general. Have you heard of/read Abandon?


message 2: by Philippa (new)

Philippa Anna wrote: "Philippa wrote: "I'm loling because this is what I've kinda heard about this book? I feel vindicated for being wary of it now. Altho it does mean that now I have to go cry over the fact that I stil..."

Possibly? I... you know YA fiction always requires such vague one-word titles I can never keep track of which books I've heard of and haven't :>


Anna Pravdica Philippa wrote: "Anna wrote: "Philippa wrote: "I'm loling because this is what I've kinda heard about this book? I feel vindicated for being wary of it now. Altho it does mean that now I have to go cry over the fac..."

Gpoy. Suffice to say, it was also disappointing.


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