Jennifer Haight's Reviews > He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
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May 07, 2011

it was amazing
Read from May 07 to 09, 2011

"Greg made us see, after an enormous amount of effort, that if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain't nothing that's going to get in his way. And if he's not sane, why would you want him?" - Liz Tuccillo

Authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo were inspired to wrote the book (both are writers for the show Sex and the City)after the attention garnered from the episode of Sex and the City titled "Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little." In the episode,Miranda Hobbes asks Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriend, Jack Berger, to analyze the post-date behavior of a potential love interest. Because the man declined Miranda's invitation to come up to her apartment after the date, stating that he has an early meeting, Berger concludes, "He's just not that into you", adding, "When a guy's really into you, he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting." This become a huge life changing revelation for Miranda and it allowed her to move on more quickly from guys that were never going to become a serious relationship for her. Unfortunately not everyone took so kindly to the advice.

The book reads a bit outdated as it refers to answering machines and doesn't mention social media such as Facebook or Twitter at all. There is an extended edition which I haven't seen which may address some of these more contemporary dating issues. That said the book has priceless gems of wisdom that many of us know, but don't always remind ourselves of when we need to. Greg Behrendt's direct approach is both funny and honest.

The book is broken into chapters with letters written from women with specific dating issues and then answered by Greg. Then there is a sections called IT"S SO SIMPLE in which the concept is even more clearly defined. Next the female author, Liz writes about why women struggle with the specific issue. Finally each chapter is wrapped up with a What You Should Have Learned section and a set of Workbook questions to quiz yourself to make sure that you garnered the information and that it really sunk in.

One section that fired up a bit of controversery from feminists is the chapter in which Greg asserts that a woman should NEVER ask out a man, under any circumstances. He asserts; " I know it's an infuriating concept-that men like to chase and you have to let us chanse you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth."

The section that I found the most interesting and I believe is true in any type of relationship, not just a dating one is that "The word "busy" is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes." He goes on to explain that it only takes moments to send out a quick phone call or email explaining that you will be in touch when more time is available to you and if someone really cares about you, that's what they'll do. No one is ever too busy for that. He even ran an informal poll in which 100% of the men polled said that they've never been too busy to call a woman that they were really into.

There are many more nuggets of wisdom and humor, "Don't waste the pretty" being one of the more memorable. This is a great read for anyone that is dating, or having relationship issues. It reminds you of your value and worth and that you deserve to be treated well by the men in your life.
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