Stephen's Reviews > Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You by Bradley N. Sands
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Apr 20, 12

bookshelves: bizarro, ebooks, 2011, kings-of-badassia, humor-and-satire
Read from July 25 to 26, 2011 — I own a copy

***A BRIEF INTERVIEW WITH RICO SLADE***

Interviewer: “So, Mr. Slade, how does it feel to be the subject of new book?”

Rico Slade: [Not liking the tone of the question, Rico Slade rips the interviewer's fucking throat out after punching him in the fucking face a bunch of fucking times.]

Interview over...

That is Rico Slade in a nutshell.

I'm not exactly sure how to review this one, other than to say it was exactly what I was hoping it would be, plus a bit more. Before I spray the praise hose all over the place, let me get my one and only gripe out of the way by echoing the sentiments expressed by my friend Lea...the diner scene...completely unnecessary... it diminished my enjoyment of the book.

Okay, other than that, this book was 100+ pages of hiliarious, "over the top" satire that manages to be both brilliantly insightful and unabashedly juvenile. AT...THE...SAME...TIME.

Rico Slade is your quintessential caricature of a mega/uber/super action hero in the mold of Sylvester Bruce Schwarzenegger, complete with sunglasses that never come off, a leopard-skin jacket, zebra-skin, steel-toed SIZE 22 boots, and a classic Pompadour in the Elvis Dean Travolta style. In other words, take the word MACHO, put it on a 6 month regiment of raw meat, steroids and methamphetamines, and you'd still have something that Rico Slade would leave trembling in the corner whimpering for its mama.

Here’s the wrinkle...Rico Slade is a character played by actor Chip Johnson.

Chip, unlike Rico, suffers from massive insecurity, male pattern baldness and is going through a bit of a mid-lifer. Chip has started having real trouble distinguishing between fact and fiction and now thinks he really is Rico Slade. This, of course, is a big WIN for the reader, because violent, kick-face, in your ass superbness soon commences (FYI…you can switch “face” and “ass” around in the above description, but I think both versions work equally well for this story).

So while Rico Slade is running around Hollywood, ripping out throats, tearing out eyeballs, karate chopping a woman in the baby door, snapping necks, and peeing on corpses...oh...and punching...a bunch...of...fucking faces...a bunch...of...fucking times, Chip Johnson is trying to come to grips with his troubled inner self and long neglected needs, which were sacrificed on the altar of action stardom, and have remained buried deep inside him.

Rico and Chip are heading for a reckoning.

Plus, this is bizarro fiction so you have your usual cast of “semi” to “way the fuck” off characters including, (a) Chip’s therapist, Howard, who has an “anti-hair” obsession, a dwindling client base and a track record for turning patients into serial killers; (b) Howard’s wife, who is threatening to let the world’s entire male population play with her goodies unless Howard buys her some serious “bling” right NOW; and (c) George Proctor (aka Baron Mayhem), Chip’s closest friend and Rico Slade’s mortal enemy, a clean freak who lives in filth because he hates stereotypes (if that doesn’t make perfect sense, don’t worry, it just means your sane).

This is “laugh out loud and feel stupid about it” funny with some sharp, scathing commentary on the damage people do to themselves by embracing “roles” people thrust on them rather than staying true to who they are.

4.5 stars…HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
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Comments (showing 1-20 of 20) (20 new)

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message 1: by Jakob (new)

Jakob This sounds awesome :)


Stephen It was Jakob...Review coming tomorrow but it was everything I thought it would be.


message 3: by Dan (new) - rated it 5 stars

Dan Schwent Stephen wrote: "It was Jakob...Review coming tomorrow but it was everything I thought it would be."

I read this in my cube while pretending to work. The aforementioned karate chop to the baby door ruined my ruse.


Stephen That was a laugh out loud moment for me as well together with the surrounding inner monologue.


message 5: by Mohammed (new)

Mohammed Heh this book sounds messed up in very funny way.

Where in the worlds did this kind of books come from. Who wrote them first. Its like they are everywhere these days.


Shovelmonkey1 I would just like to state for the record that I unashamedly love Bruce Willis so any hard-man action hero remotely based on the Willis gets a big thumbs and toes up from me!


message 7: by Dan (new) - rated it 5 stars

Dan Schwent Mohammed wrote: "Heh this book sounds messed up in very funny way.

Where in the worlds did this kind of books come from. Who wrote them first. Its like they are everywhere these days."


This link should answer some of your questions. I tried a few Bizarro books after befriending the authors on Goodreads and now I'm hooked.


message 8: by Stephen (last edited Jul 26, 2011 12:16PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Stephen Shovelmonkey1 wrote: "I would just like to state for the record that I unashamedly love Bruce Willis so any hard-man action hero remotely based on the Willis gets a big thumbs and toes up from me!"

There is defintely some Die Hard in Rico.


Marvin Sounds a hell of a lot better than Ass Goblins of Auschwitz.


Stephen Marvin wrote: "Sounds a hell of a lot better than Ass Goblins of Auschwitz."

Yes, but your review of Ass Goblins was superb. That had to have been a difficult review to work through.


Shovelmonkey1 There's a book called Ass Goblins of Auschwitz... i'm off to search for this right now!


Marvin Yes it was. But I'm not deterred from my duty. I'm off to read Bible Camp Bloodbath soon.


Anthony Chavez Haha great review Stephen, glad you liked the novella.


Bridget The author read my review & gave some pretty funny analysis. I felt bad I only gave this two stars since he seems so cool;) C'est la vie. I can't help it if my X chromosome left me feeling inexplicable sorry for the protagonist (hence the low stars despite the great laughs) even though it was obviously a satire;)


Stephen I'm sorry you didn't like this more, Bridget. It happens. I'm glad you got some laughs out of it at least.


message 16: by Sean (new)

Sean Great review, Stephen. I am assuming I will not be able to find this at Barnes and Noble?


Stephen Thanks, Sean. I bought my copy on Amazon, and I don't see why B&N wouldn't carry it.


message 18: by April (new)

April Your reviews are laugh out loud funny, Stephen! This sounds fantastic.


Stephen April wrote: "Your reviews are laugh out loud funny, Stephen! This sounds fantastic."

Thanks, April. I hope you like it if you give it a go. Just ignore the Diner scene.


message 20: by Gordon (new) - added it

Gordon Wilson Great review, I have to get this.


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