Lisa J's Reviews > The Black Jewels Trilogy: Daughter of the Blood, Heir to the Shadows, Queen of the Darkness

The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop
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Apr 25, 2011

it was ok
bookshelves: 2011
Read from April 25 to 30, 2011

Magical cock rings. Benevolent talking unicorns. Super confusing world building. A heroine, Jaenelle, who is the most wonderfullest, magical being EVAR to grace the world. Lame mustache-twirling villains. And so much snarling...I counted the word used three times on one page. Honestly, if I heard Jaenelle's eyes described as "sapphire," her voice described as "midnight" (WTF does that even mean?), or if she "fluffed" her hair one more time I was going to cut a bitch. Or have one of the ever-present glasses of booze all of the men turned to in times of crisis.

...did I mention the MAGICAL COCK RINGS? (These are worn for a multitude of purposes in the book, but never the reason men actually wear them IRL. IfyaknowwhatImsayin.)

There were real glimmers of hope: a big, well-rounded cast, an interesting premise and narrative structure, some very likable, multi-faceted characters. And to be fair, I had a hard time putting it down.

But major rookie mistakes. Don't tell me someone has a terrible temper: show me. The magic was insanely inconsistent...black jewels were built up to be these amazing things, but the people wielding them never did much except wander around the mental abyss "spearing" things (and very little spearing of each other, which was a shame). The book read like bad fanfic, with a Mary Sue heroine that out Mary Sues any other Mary Sue ever dreamed up.

I did love Daemon and Saetan. Although I did not need to read about Daemon taking a MAGICAL COCK RING off his Dad's "organ." And I've got no clue why someone who is 1700 years old would fall in love with a 12 year old...ever. But again, you just can't argue with Mary Sue.

Sigh.
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