Dinjolina's Reviews > Never a Gentleman

Never a Gentleman by Eileen Dreyer
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So the author woke up one morning and realized she missed good old bodice rippers.
Instead of going to the library and satisfying her need with a good oldie she decided to introduce the new generations to old school plots with cheating,spays and a lovable but tough hero that is stuck with a plain Jane.

And oh joy! When she finished, us devoted fans had the charming experience of reading this peace of sh...shoes!

Look, we got a heroine! Ain't she cute? A ditzy heroine. Wait...how is she ditzy if we are told in the summary that she is a tough little army daughter?
Well her spine is just an illusion! She kind of wants her cheating but very handsome husband at any cost! Even by the cost of her pride. And integrity. And you know, life, friends or anything. Because he is handsome.
The heroine just mops all over the book and the reader about how -oh! He is so cruel but she loves him! (Why? He acts like a jerk and he cheats on her?! Did you have a lobotomy,woman?)
But she will not blame him. How could the hero love someone like her? She is plain. Horsefaced. And plain. And horsefaced. And plain. And horsefaced. And plain. And horsefaced. And plain. And horsefaced. But mostly she is plain and horsefaced.
After reading it many more times then repeated here I wanted to go out on the street laughing hysterically and telling people they are plainplainPLAIN!!! Like its a f....ing crime.
But the hero does care. He only has sex with other women because he wants to you know,protect her from the web of spies that surround him! Buahahaha! Those villains!

(Darling,I just tripped and my penis fell in to her vagina! Honest!)

But it all works nicely and the cheating is forgotten ,the hero and heroine in love, the main evil person discovered! Tada-da-duuum.
Why does the hero love her?
When did he fall in love?
(While she was plain or horsefaced? Maybe after tripping over his shoes and planting his penis in to an ex mistress?)
Not that it matters. This is a love story!
(Love? Where? Where? Did I miss it?)

So....why did I read this again? :confused face:
I know!
Uh....yeah. Sure I know.
I just don't want to tell you.
It's my secret.
(Doesn't my explanation sound as passable as the spying on his ex mistress?)

So,a plot. Where did it get lost while the author was writing this book?

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Comments (showing 1-43 of 43) (43 new)

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Catherine This one didn't work for me at all. Probably because the old bodice rippers give me hives nowadays. :)

message 2: by Dinjolina (last edited May 13, 2011 04:44AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Dinjolina Hey did you read the one before?
Hated it also. And it was not a bodice ripper.
Just a book where the hero calls his wife by his mistresses name in bed. Cool,eh? :)

Catherine Yes I read it a while ago. I wasn't calling it a bodice ripper, just likening the style to one.

Dinjolina No,no...I said,I hated that one even thou it was NOT a bodice ripper. :) Nothing to do with you comment...
When i read THIS book (the second one) I remembered your rew and how people in marriages have rules you want them to abide. And I could not agree more. Why read romances if they are going to leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Catherine Agreed. I don't need it to be a Disney movie, but I want to trust in their love and longevity. I don't read Romances to get depressed. :( I want to watch people come together and fall in love. I want to see them respect each other and care. This one didn't do any of that for me. :(

Dinjolina http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/97...

Hehe,of all the adultery romances I think I freak out when it came to this one,most of all.
My rew should tell you why. :D
Get it on your avoid pile :wink:

Catherine Yikes!

new_user And plain and horsefaced. LMAO. Great review.

message 9: by Anthi (last edited May 13, 2011 09:45AM) (new)

Anthi Darling, I just tripped and my penis fell in to her vagina! Honest!


message 10: by Christina (last edited May 13, 2011 12:17PM) (new)

Christina "My spine got kidnapped by aliens" must be the most hilarious shelf name I've ever come across in GR. And there're a lot of funnies out here. LOL, Dinjolina. Great review, btw. :)

message 11: by Dinjolina (last edited May 15, 2011 07:39AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Dinjolina Thank you people!

The rew was a thing of the moment with only one conclusion:
This author is not my cup of tea.

Other then the fact that in the first book the hero kick out his pregnant wife on the street and later calls her by his mistresses name while having sex,and in the second the things above there is the fact that she uses stupid generic names for her French mistresses. It just makes me want to scream!

With that she makes true the stereotype that American authors do not do research when they write about Europe/Asian characters.
In the first book the mistress is Mimi.
That is sooooo NOT a common French name. And in the second something on M again...Minet? OMG!
This is like when people that write about Russian characters call their heroines Katia Petrovna. Petrovna is NOT a surname. This could be confirmed with just a bit of research. Petrovna means that the heroines father was named Peter. Her corect name should be Katia Petrovna Tolievich. (or what ever,I am making this up). Also not all spanish women are called Dominica,or women from Greece Artemis.

.þµŋψà. [Punya Reviews...] Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I just read yours and a few reviews. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Sick, sick, sick and unbelievable. Just reading the reviews made me sick. I'll never read this book.


Dinjolina You know, people seem to love the book :/
Book one is sh.t too. :(

.þµŋψà. [Punya Reviews...] People seem to love lot many other creepy and weird stuffs so not surprising. I mean there are things I can ignore but some things I just can't, there are no excuses for it. I've read adultery theme before but nothing like this, some I hated, again nothing like this one but some were handled very well by the author so I didn't suffer that much throughout the book. Moreover knowing about the heroine of this book pissed me off the same.

Dinjolina If you hated this- check out THIS:

Dinjolina And that continued in to this:
Btw people read that stuff.
I got the books as a set from a friend. A very VERY misguided friend.

That author has all kind of strange books.
My Sister's Ex
My Best Friend and My Man

And the title I liked best:
My Daughter's Boyfriend

Go figure. :/

message 17: by Sian (new)

Sian Lol this was a funny review

message 18: by Shelly (new)

Shelly I'm not clear... did you like it? :) LOL

Dinjolina Nop :)

message 20: by Sharyn (new)

Sharyn Reviews like this make me stay FAR away from any of this author's book. With good reason, too, it seems!

message 21: by Bakudis (new) - added it

Bakudis Hi Dinjolina, your review so honest i like so much LOL
Usually some of the reviews are too heavy to be read, yours so fun.

your right, H cheat because some affair about crown and want to protect h... nooo.. Jeeezz weird sooo..

Darling,I just tripped and my penis fell in to her vagina! hahaha

a strange self-defense!!
if that is how you protect the person you love, I do not want to be the person you love.

Does he promised not will do cheat again if given same situation like that again? hah

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog You warned me and yet I still went ahead and read/tried to read this book. I was really rooting for this couple until the scene where Grace witnesses Diccan with his mistress. I was all WTF?? And then for her to say she wanted him to do the same to her? WTF? I thought she was worldly and knew about STDs? Just gross. Maybe having pomegranate breasts meant you were STD free? Just nasty I couldn't finish this book. Ughhh - now I wonder what tags do I make for this book? Adulterous Romance? I am just in shock about how many people just love this book/series. Why????

message 23: by Shelly (new)

Shelly Don't you love when someone warns you and you still try it? I've done that so many times!

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog I just couldn't understand it, Shelly. I follow the author on Facebook and she has such die-hard fans. Plus, the author's sense of humor and funny pics has me in stitches every day.

I was also in lust with the yummy covers and wanted to 'see' why everyone just loves this series. I really wanted to find something redeeming in it, I guess. So after reading, I'm still confused what type of person this appeals to.

In the author's defense, it's been ages since I read a Historical Romance, and now I'm wondering if they all have adulterous themes and I was just in la-la land and didn't remember? :(

message 25: by Shelly (new)

Shelly I had this on my to-read list and took it off based on this review. I don't like adultery at all in my books-deal breaker almost always. Guess I'm judgemental of my characters. No, I don't think that is common in the historical romance.

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog Same here, Shelly! So glad it's not in all books of this genre. Thanks for clearing that up :)

message 27: by Shelly (new)

Shelly Yup!

Dinjolina Ah, ah, ah! Di you read book one or three od these series? Such a train wreck!
I could literary see it coming…coming…BOOOM! And I still read on. :)
Btw, I read cheater books. I don’t like them, but still…the really stupid ones (like this!) just drive me bonkers.
Completely and utterly bonkers!

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog Hiya, Dinjolina! Yes, I read all of Book 1 - and didn't like it - Book 2 I stopped at the scene where the wife sees her husband and his mistress and the wife (Grace) wants the husband to have sex with her the same way. Just ugh - couldn't stomach it :( and quit the book and the series.

Just not my cup of tea :)

message 30: by Shelly (new)

Shelly I didn't try them based on your review. I guess there's so much more out there to read.

Dinjolina You guys commenting actually gave me an idea to make a new review of this book for my blog (I have to pimp i out a little…hehe…http://readinginfection.blogspot.com/)
But the point is……..all of “Drake’s rakes” are horrible spies! And THAT is actually the worst part. Hero no. one could not se a plain little lie his cousin told…hero from book two was played in to destroying his marriage, and hero from book 3 kept coling the heroine a whore for 80% the book without checking anything. Britain’s best spies? PLEASE!

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog Thanks so much for letting me know! On my way right now to join all ways possible and grab your button for my blog, Dinjolina! Love it! <3


Dinjolina Om-gosh! You review with Michelle! <3
Me wuvs you ^^
You girls are 100% going in to our blogs we pant over list ^^

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog Yes! Super small world!
Lots of love right back :)
Now I'm finally 'in the know' and following you on Goodreads & your blog!

Learned my lesson the hard way to always check a book if you've reviewed first!

Plus I love - the plain and horsefaced! Bwahahahahha!

*kisses* :)

Dinjolina Btw, seeing as how you...ermmmm...have Debbie on GR, are you also a member on you-know-where?

Julie Read Our Lips! Book Review Blog Yes! <3

message 37: by Huma (new)

Huma Rashid Hahaha. This review is hilarious. I will be sure to skip this book ... and probably the author as well.

message 38: by Sats (new) - added it

Sats ur review helps..I was gonna read it :)...I can ditch it now

message 39: by Tanya (new)

Tanya Das I havent stopped laughing. I guess i'll pass on buying this. If a woman- whatever attributes thinks she is horseface or plain, has some serious esteem issues. No wonder they sit back and take all the abuse.

message 40: by Nighat (new)

Nighat Sultana nice writing..i hate this kind of story....it was so much fun reading your review ...:)

message 41: by Sats (new) - added it

Sats The review was fucking hilarious ;).. Horsefaced and Plain..LOL... Great review. Will avoid this book :P

message 42: by Giovanni (new)

Giovanni your review is awesome :))

Becky Hilarious review! And very informative :)

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