Catherine's Reviews > Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay
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Apr 15, 11

bookshelves: books-that-made-me-smarter
Read from March 23 to April 15, 2011

I am a little bit torn about this book. And so I struggle to decide whether to give it three or four stars. How 'bout 3.5? I was very excited to read this book, thinking somehow that it would be THE answer to my parenting questions and quandries. I think there were some good nuggets, but I also had some problems...

Things I liked:
-- Importance of setting limits. "The best predictor of an out-of-control teenager is a two-year-old who runs the house." Amen!
-- Emphasis on staying calm
-- Emphasis on teaching children to problem solve from an early age
-- Emphasis on teaching children how to work and to do chores
-- Giving away control when you don't need it (i.e., giving lots of choices).
-- Only giving consequences you are willing/able to enforce


Things I didn't like:
-- Lack of warnings. He did say at one point you could set the limit once. But most of the time you are to exact the consequence without warning. I see his point (that out in the world we don't get warnings before we get arrested for shoplifting, etc), but it seems to me that my kids have benefited from the counting approach (80% of the time I see them thinking and then back away from the forbidden activity by the time I hit "Two"). It gives them a chance to think and correct their behavior.
-- Holding children responsible for our "energy drains". This concept makes me uncomfortable because I wonder if it feeds into a child's natural tendency to hold themselves responsible for the feelings/actions of their parents.
-- Is it practical. The title says it is... but I'm not sure it is practical to do with triplets this young. All the figuring out how much they "owe" me if I have to get them a babysitter, etc, sounds very time consuming. If he is right, it would save me time in the long run, but I also have to be able to function in the short term.

In reality, I expect that I will use some of the techniques from this book. For example, I have already started using an immediate "Bummer. Looks like dinner is over." or "Bummer. Looks like you need some crib time." in instances when one of the children's behavior is causing significant disruption (i.e., pushing another child or causing major problems at a meal. I will also work to remain calm in the face of frustration (all the books say this... I'm trying!) But I intend on using the counting techniques like in "1,2,3 Magic" for other more mundane annoyances as it has worked quite well for us.
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Comments (showing 1-1 of 1) (1 new)

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Natalie Catherine, it's funny that you read this because I just took a 2 day class on Love and Logic in the classroom. I really liked it. Some of the stuff I started using at home with the twins has worked. I also started using delayed consequences with the older 2 so I could calm down and come up with logical consequences that I could actually follow through with. I liked the class so much, that I've checked out the Parenting with Love and Logic and the one you just read.


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