Steph Sinclair's Reviews > Twilight

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
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Actual rating: 1.5 stars. Believe it or not, there are actually a few books that are worse than Twilight.

Ok, funny story. I was sitting on my couch with my husband last night finishing up Twilight. I slammed the book shut and began rubbing my temples. Then, my husband goes, "So you finally finished, huh?" "Yes. I can't believe I used to like this book," I said. "Hahaha! Yeah, I remember you were on Twilight's balls hard." Yeah, yeah, yeah...

There isn't a single book on my shelf that has fluctuated between all ratings besides Twilight. No, your eyes do not deceive you. I actually have read Twilight 4 times. I used to hail from Shelfari.com and the first rating I ever gave Twilight was 5 stars. After I made the switch to GoodReads, I decided to give it 4 stars instead. So, recently I was browsing my GoodReads shelf (I often do that to clean up ratings), I noticed Twilight was sitting pretty at 4 stars and was on my "favorites" shelf. At the time I thought, "Wow, that's not accurate at all. Maybe it deserves 3 stars?" But I quickly decided, no, no, no...I'll just do a fun little project and re-read the series and give them all better ratings. If your curious about the details of the project, stop on over here: Project: Hindsight. And hey, if you like what you see, won't you subscribe? Yes? /end shameless self promotion.

The coolest thing about re-reading Twilight is that it has caused me to create really cool new shelves such as:

"Kill me now"
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"Idiot heroine"
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"This is *not* literature"
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And my personal favorite: "Where's my chocolate?"
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One of the first things I noticed during this re-read was how incredibly boring it was. Bella is dull as a doorknob. And the first few chapters of the book are essentially a 'Bitch, Moan, Complain' session. So, we have Bella moving to Forks, WA because she wants her mother to be happy (more on that later). And she's all like, "Ohhhh, I hate this place. It's green. Ewww, it's wet. Fuck my life." And what's one of the first things Bella does when she arrives in Forks? She cooks Charlie dinner.

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No, I don't have an issue with a female character enjoying cooking, but it is practically thrown in my face that Charlie can't fend for himself; Bella has to cook. Well, what the hell was he doing before she arrived?! Oh, ya, did anyone else realize that despite the fact that she says she is not allowed to call Charlie by his first name; she almost always calls him Charlie? WTF.

Bella goes to school and during lunch she first cast her eyes on the Cullen family. (view spoiler) Her next period happens to be Biology (because that's where you'd meet a vampire, right?) and as she walks past the fan Edward goes:
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And she's like, "WTF. Do I smell?" Little does she know that Eddie just wants to devourer her little, ivory skinned ass. His reaction is so off-putting that she cries when she gets back to her truck. All because Eddie doesn't like her. Who the hell cares, Bella? Conceded much? Get over yourself. But no, she just obsesses with it.
"Edward Cullen didn't come back to school. Everyday, I watched anxiously until the rest of the Cullens had entered the cafeteria without him."
Meanwhile, poor Mike is trying to put the moves on Bella and invites her to a beach trip. Speaking of the beach trip, here is something the editors should have picked up on. When the beach trip is first brought up it's supposed to be happening in two weeks. But, as Bella goes on and on about nothing in particular, a few pages later she mentions
"...just because he'd happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks."
Wait, what? Anyone notice something? Six weeks have passed and the beach trip is where? Not only that, but the girl's choice dance was also two weeks away and here six weeks have passed...
"I was surprised he would remember the name; I'd mentioned it just once, almost two months ago."
Anyway, moving on. Some random shit happens causing Edward to swoop in and save danger prone Bella. The worst thing about Twilight is how incredibly dependent Bella is on Edward. When she's not with him, she is always thinking about him. And that doesn’t make any sense. She barely knows him. They've had like two or three conversations and she has thoughts like:
"And what was my other choice--to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him."
"It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now."
"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose."
And then, because Edward must always prove to Bella that he loves her more than she loves him, he pulls this line:
"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most because if I can do it---if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."
Are you kidding me? This is not love. But how could it be, with Edward torn between eating her and making out with her? Edward is a controlling creepy creeper. He had been watching her sleep for weeks before they started talking! Meyer are you condoning stalkish behavior?! PhotobucketNot.Fucking.Cool.

I once read that Stephenie Meyer had a dream and that is how Twilight was born. She says she actually started writing from chapter 13 (The Meadow) to the ending. (view spoiler) Then, she went back and wrote the first half. It totally shows. While it's true the entire book is a shit storm in action, the second half is noticeably worse. The first half can easily be summed up as "Bella's Bitch Fest meets Creep-ward" and believe me when I say, it's really not as bad as the second half. How is that even possible? I have no idea, but Meyer pulls that shit off flawlessly. And ya know? I have a theory on that. Because Meyer had a dream about Bella and Edward and their 'true love' and she went to work on the second half before the first, there is all this raw emotions, strange pet names, and banter that's supposed to be romantic but fails miserably. I just felt terribly uncomfortable reading it. And to top it all off, it was so bad, like, eye bleeding bad! It made me so angry I actually pulled out a pen and started marking this damn book up. Don't believe me? LMAO, seriously folks, I took notes. Feast your eyes on my personal copy of Toilette Twilight (view spoiler).
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I've also noticed a trend with Meyer. She doesn't write fight scenes. There was a huge build up for a fight with James and we see nothing of the fight. Bella is informed of what happened after the fact. Good job, Stephenie. You totally ripped off your readers there. So, Carlisle is sitting there fixing up Bella on the ground (and he randomly has Morphine, by the way -_-) and Bella is in the process of passing out. But first, Carlisle has a little conversation about Bella's mom and she somehow finds the will to mention to Alice what she knows about James. Like, really? Go to sleep Bella. You talk too much.

I won't bore you with the details of the ending. I'm sure you already know. But I do want to say that Bella's mother is the most selfish character (next to Bella, of course). First she ships her off to Forks so she could be with her new husband. And no, do not tell me Bella chose to do that. Renee is the parent and it's *her* job to make sacrifices. Then, when Bella is in the hospital after the fight with James, she acts like she can't be bothered to stay with Bella.
Then she sighed and glaced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall.
"Do you need to go?"
She bit her lip. "Phil's supposed to call in a little while...I didn't know you were going to wake up..."
Really?? Really, Renee?! Your daughter almost died and you are seriously acting like this? Un-fucking-believable. Oh, but this shit gets better:
"I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know," she announced, proud of herself.
Huh? Do you want a cookie for that? It's your job!
"I can stay if you need me."
"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me."
She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay.
"I'll be back tonight." Its sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise, and she glanced at Edward again as she said it.
And what does she think Edward and Bella are going to do? She has a broken leg, broken ribs, and cracks in her skull. C'mon now!

Then Edward takes Bella to prom, he kisses her neck. The fucking end.
Would I recommend this? Bahahahahahah! You're shitting me, right? I'm about to go do this to my bookshelf:
Photobucket

But I'll tell you what I recommend. I recommend we all do this to our copies of Toilette.

Amen.

Continue on with the madness with my review of Midnight Sun and New Moon.


*****BONUS TIME*****

I love bonuses! They are so much fun! Have you seen the Twilight parody by The Hillywood Show? No?! Go watch now!!
Twilight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MKz0g...
New Moon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti13oO...
Eclipse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cue1lw...
I personally love the Eclipse one.


More reviews and more at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog.
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Reading Progress

09/27/2011
2.0% ""I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me." Lol! How ironic. -_-"
09/28/2011
2.0% "I don't think I ever realized how boring the beginning of Twilight is. *Must.Stay.Awake.*"
09/28/2011
7.0% "" I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy." Well, at least she admits it."
09/28/2011
10.0% ""'But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.'" Who says that? I would seriously be creeped out if a guy I knew, who initially sent major hate vibes my way, said that too me."
09/28/2011
10.0% ""'You really should stay away from me,' he warned. 'I'll see you in class.'" Yup, definitely a creeper."
09/28/2011
10.0% "Bella just lost her appetite because she didn't see Edward sitting at his usual table. Smh. Co-dependency is romantic, no?"
09/29/2011 page 96
19.0% "Ok, somebody break this down for me. How realistic is it for Bella to be this dramatic over a drop of blood in the blood typing scene? You can smell that tiny scratch on Mike's finger? Really, Bella? Really?"
09/29/2011 page 101
20.0% "Finally, the infamous beach trip is going to happen. The time consistency is really off in this book. I never noticed before."
09/29/2011
21.0% "It kind of strange to think Edward was already in love with Bella by this point (according to Midnight Sun). How I've grown to hate insta-love."
09/30/2011 page 122
24.0% "Poor little Jacob. Im convinced his character was created as Bella's personal doormat." 3 comments
10/02/2011 page 137
28.0% "Bella had just figured out vampires live in Forks and what's the first thing she does? She goes on a freakin' nature walk in the woods...alone. What an idiot." 1 comment
10/02/2011 page 139
28.0% ""I was already in too deep." How is that possible Bella? You've only had two conversations with him. God, I hate insta-love." 1 comment
10/02/2011 page 142
29.0% "So let's recap. They've had two conversations and they haven't seen each other in three days. Already Bella is drawing his eyes on her homework and daydreaming about him. -_-"
10/02/2011 page 146
29.0% "Oh boy. Another pity party for Bella because Edward didn't show up for school again."
10/02/2011 page 149
30.0% "What the hell was Charlie doing for food before Bella arrived? Dude never cooks for himself. The most I've seen him do is pour a bowl of cereal. How did Bella become his personal chef? "Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet--I fell asleep outside." WTF."
10/02/2011 page 149
30.0% ""You'll be ok for dinner, right?" Please, Bella, cut that shit out right now."
10/02/2011 page 164
33.0% ""Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes." Wait a minute. Edward was driving with his eyes closed? And Bella is feeling "utterly safe?" No, just no. Makes no sense." 1 comment
10/02/2011 page 168
34.0% " Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos LMFAO!" 4 comments
10/02/2011 page 174
35.0% ""I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me." Ummm, yea! He STALKED you. "Instead I felt a strange surge if pleasure." Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 2 comments
10/03/2011 page 175
35.0% ""Your number was up the first time I met you." Ya, that's not even remotely creepy at all. It would totally make me feel at ease too, Bella. *eyeroll*" 2 comments
10/03/2011 page 188
38.0% "“It makes me… anxious… to be away from you.” Ahhhhh!!!!! Makes.no.sense!!!! You don't know her Edward!"
10/03/2011 page 190
38.0% ""It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella---please, grasp that." And yet you continue to stalk her?! Would the real Edward Cullen please stand up? Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 3 comments
10/04/2011 page 195
39.0% ""There was part of him that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 14 comments
10/04/2011 page 211
42.0% ""Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most because if I can do it---if leaving is the right thing thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe." Bahahahahaha!! Oh, Eddie. Can I call you Eddie? Where do you come up with this shit? Please expect an in depth break down of this excerpt in my review." 2 comments
10/05/2011 page 211
42.0% "As soon as I pick back up with reading this book on the same page, I find this shit: "If I had to, I supposed I could purposefully put myself in danger to keep him close." Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 5 comments
10/05/2011 page 228
46.0% ""I couldn't imagine anything about me that could be in any way interesting to him." It's a shame Bella thinks so little of herself." 2 comments
10/05/2011
50.0% ""And what was my other choice — to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. " Yes, Bella. It's either that or possible DEATH."
10/06/2011 page 292
59.0% "'You spied on me?' But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered. He was unrepentant. 'What else is there to do at night.' Ummm...how about not stalk her? Only Bella would think something as creepy as that as romantic. Oh, wait...I take that back. Nora would too." 4 comments
10/06/2011 page 301
60.0% "Edward, please stop playing with your food. Stop sniffing her wrists and neck every 5 seconds. Just get on with it and eat Bella." 1 comment
10/06/2011 page 306
61.0% "Ok, *this* is the creepiest line from the entire book: "'Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet,' he whispered. 'You have a very floral smell, like lavender...or freesia,' he noted. 'It's mouthwatering.'"" 1 comment
10/06/2011 page 307
62.0% "Clever little info dump. Why hadn't I noticed that before?"
10/06/2011 page 314
63.0% ""'I love you,' I whispered. 'You are my life now,' he answered simply." Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 8 comments
10/06/2011 page 328
66.0% ""I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all." That's because she doesn't Edward. -_-"
10/06/2011 page 329
66.0% "He tasted her TEARS?! Who *does* that?! I don't know if I should me laughing my ass off at the absurdity of it or disgusted that he *tasted* her tears. Lol!"
10/06/2011
70.0% ""Leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. You baby me too much." Stop the presses! Charlie is doing something domestic for a change!"
10/07/2011
75.0% "My cruel words did their job — Charlie stayed frozen on the doorstep, stunned, while I ran into the night. Charlie, this is what you should have done: Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 2 comments
10/08/2011 page 418
84.0% ""I miss you," I whispered. "I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you." "Come and get it, then," I challenged. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 2 comments
10/08/2011 page 428
86.0% "Why is it that Alice can't hear what James is saying to Bella on the phone? I thought the vamps had super duper hearing?" 3 comments
10/09/2011 page 438
88.0% " Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos I'm so tired of this shit. -_-" 3 comments
10/09/2011 page 440
88.0% "I imagined him by the shore, his skin sparkling like the sea. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 4 comments
10/09/2011 page 454
91.0% "Ok, WTF. Why is Bella's spilled blood bothering Alice more than Edward?" 8 comments
10/09/2011 page 456
92.0% "I just love how Carlisle randomly carries around morphine. Lol." 3 comments
10/09/2011 page 457
92.0% "Ahhh!!!! There is so much fail on this one, half page. I can't...I can't even...!!"
10/09/2011 page 458
92.0% "All that conflict build up with James and the reader isn't rewarded with a fight scene. Instead we get a scene of Bella in the hospital. The only way this can be saved is if Bella dies."
10/09/2011 page 459
92.0% ""You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." And how did you explain the vampire *bite* on her hand, hmmm??"
10/09/2011 page 460
92.0% ""It was impossible...to stop," he whispered. "Impossible. But I did." He looked up finally, with half a smile. "I must love you." Excuse me. What?! Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 2 comments
10/09/2011 page 460
92.0% ""Don't I taste as good as I smell?" I smiled in response. "Even better---better than I'd imagined." *smacks forehead* Stephenie, What.The.Fuck. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 4 comments
10/09/2011 page 463
93.0% "I was not finished kissing you," I complained. "Don't make me come over there." Oh, my damn. Please don't, Bella. I can't...deal. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos"
10/09/2011 page 464
93.0% ""He never leaves does he?" she mumbled to herself. LMAO. You have no idea. Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 7 comments
10/09/2011 page 468
94.0% "Bella's mom is so incredibly selfish. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Lol. Yes, pun totally intended." 1 comment
10/09/2011 page 481
97.0% "Would I ever get used to his perfection? If I hear how perfect Edward is one more time... Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos" 4 comments

Comments (showing 88-137)





Lisa O. I've thought about it too Stephanie. But then, don't you think a book is also tied to a certain moment of your life? For me it is. I know I liked it when I read it, and I know that if I read it now I probably won't like it as much but what is important to me is that I liked it THEN.


message 136: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair That is so true. I think it will always have a special little place in my literary heart. Mostly because it got me back into reading. It rekindled my passionate love if reading flame. It does have a lot of flaws, but when I first read it (a few years ago), I did enjoy it.

I think it more accurately belongs on my 3 star shelf.

But I am afraid I won't like it as much anymore. My tastes and tolerance in books have changed so much in the last few years. Twilight pretty much fills my insta-love tolerance quota.


message 135: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 28, 2011 02:52PM) (new)

Lisa, that is so perfectly said. I actually picked this up a couple of weeks ago and reread the first chapter or so, and put it back down for that exact reason. I just want to remember how I DID like it.


Karla(Book Addict) ohhh Dear Steph u need to watch this best thing i´ve seen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L253V... and it´s a series hahahaha


message 133: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Hahaha! WIN. And he is totally right too!


message 132: by Cory (new) - rated it 1 star

Cory I love the GIFs. Especially the last one.


message 131: by Cait (new) - added it

Cait Bhahahahaha this review is such win I can barely even stand it.


message 130: by Choco (new) - rated it 1 star

Choco Brilliiiaaant!

And omg, I need a shelf that says WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE!


message 129: by Larissa (new) - rated it 1 star

Larissa Haha this is one of the best twilight reviews I've ever read (:


message 128: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Thanks guys. My brain hurts so much right now. LMAO.


message 127: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Archer wrote: "Very easily... I'll even give her a title for one.... The Edge of Darkness... By one Lissa Bilyk lol"

Yup, that's the next one I'm reading. Heal my brain, Lissa! :)


message 126: by Lissa (new)

Lissa Stephanie, that review was just AWESOME. Well worth the wait and dare I say, the pain inflicted on you for my amusement. You even picked up on things I didn't pick up on (the timeline inconsistency).

(view spoiler)


message 125: by Lissa (new)

Lissa Cillian wrote: "Yeah, about that, Lissa, I have a problem with your publisher."

I'm the publisher. What's the problem?


message 124: by Lissa (new)

Lissa Cillian wrote: "Let's take this matter to my PM chambers."

Fire away, my love.


message 123: by [deleted user] (new)


message 122: by Izzy (new) - rated it 1 star

Izzy Love the Hillywood parodies they're so much better than the books/films haha


message 121: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Archer wrote: "But now... a message from our sponsors...

2 actual vampires...



I apologise I just love this"


Hahaha, ya I've got that one.

Try this one on for size:
Photobucket


message 120: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Lissa wrote: "Stephanie, that review was just AWESOME. Well worth the wait and dare I say, the pain inflicted on you for my amusement. You even picked up on things I didn't pick up on (the timeline inconsistency..."

Thanks! Can you believe I've been reading this since July 28th?! I just kept starting and stopping over and over again. lol. That's a testament to how bad it is.


Aleeeeeza YOU'RE MARRIED? dude, i thought you were a teen. a married teen, perhaps...? lol.


message 118: by Luce (new) - added it

Luce Thank you. So much. I could not stop laughing! =)


message 117: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Aleeza wrote: "YOU'RE MARRIED? dude, i thought you were a teen. a married teen, perhaps...? lol."

Lol! Yup, I've been married for a little over 4 years now. And I'm not a teen anymore either, but I still look like one. ^_^


message 116: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Luce wrote: "Thank you. So much. I could not stop laughing! =)"

No problem. :)


message 115: by Lisa (new) - rated it 1 star

Lisa Great review. I especially like the picture of your marked up copy of the book because it really shows your frustration and I identify with it. Too funny. I hope you continue on with the rest of the books. :)


message 114: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Lisa wrote: "Great review. I especially like the picture of your marked up copy of the book because it really shows your frustration and I identify with it. Too funny. I hope you continue on with the rest of ..."

Thanks! And I definitely will be continuing. I feel like I already have half my review for New Moon written in my head. Lol.


message 113: by Jen (new) - rated it 1 star

Jen I love you and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. :)

Also, check out this tumblr for fun little comments on grammar/characters/etc, page by page through the books. :)

http://reasoningwithvampires.tumblr.com/

Also, I love all your little pictures throughout your review and updates. =D


message 112: by Jen (new) - rated it 1 star

Jen (Actually, I had no idea you could stick pictures in the updates, and also also I would like to know where you pick up your gifs.)


message 111: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Oh, I've seen that before. It's brilliant! I get my GIFS from google searches and tumblr mostly. Next time around, I want to try and make my own. I have made my own once, but it wasn't for this review.

I'm glad you enjoyed the review! :)


MizzSandie Oh, dear, I laughed so hard reading your review! Thanks! :) I actually liked this book, but then again, I've only read it once;) I kind of have a feeling that I too, wont like it as much the second time around and maybe it will just keep crawling down the list... And I recognizes a lot of the things that piss you off annoyed me too, even the first time around (like Yes, Renee is definately selfish for one). But then, I read it while I was on maternity leave and was like breastfeeding 95% of my waking time, so anything seemed brilliant to me at the time... :)


message 109: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Audria wrote: "Funny review!

I wanted to recommend to you Nightlife: A Parady by the Harvard Lampoon. I've read it and it's pretty much your review made into a book...Lol. It's a good laugh."


Thank you! Oh yes, I did read that. It's been a few years, though.

MizzSandie wrote: "Oh, dear, I laughed so hard reading your review! Thanks! :) I actually liked this book, but then again, I've only read it once;) I kind of have a feeling that I too, wont like it as much the second..."

It's weird, my tolerance level decreased each time I read it. LOL.


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) I should reread this, this is initially what got me into YA/Paranormal/P Romance and I can't remember much about it at all. I also haven't reviewed it, and I too have given it four stars overall, I may be wise and follow your footsteps with your amazing GIFs. I LOVE the chamber of secrets one. That is HILARIOUS.


message 107: by Steph (last edited Oct 17, 2011 06:51AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Be prepared for immense disappointment. Lol. But it is interesting to see what I used to like verses how I've grown as a reader. That's the fun part. But I will be on the look out for your status updates and review if you do decide to re-read!

Alas, I can't take credit for all the awesome GIFs. I found most on Tumblr and other sites. But they are hilarious!


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) Tumblr is amazing, I had a Tumblr spree today! I will read Twilight after I torture myself with Hush Hush again for review... and I never liked that series! It is really.interesting to see how you've grown as a.reader!


message 105: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Oh man, Hush, Hush. *sigh*

I'll be reading that too soon after I'm done Project: Hindsight. I read the first one when it came out and thought it was a poor imitation of Twilight. I hated it! I haven't read the other two yet. Actually, I'm planning on tackling the Halo series too. I hear it's worse than Hush, Hush. I'm not sure how that's possible. Wait, no. House of Night definitely is worse. Lol


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) Oh gee, I just realised how many Full. stops. I. put.
I was on my tablet and didn't realise! hahaha!

Yeah, I read Hush Hush and the second one and was just bored the entire time of reading, they actually have no plot whatsoever and Nora is an idiot. I want to read Halo just to see how horrible it is and to see how much of a bad name she has given Australian authors. Thankyou Ally, really. :S.
Well, I really hate to admit this, but House of Night series is sort of a guilty pleasure read for me, deep down I know it's terrible and cliche and just downright disturbing but I just keep reading it! I need help, obviously..


message 103: by Cyraus (new) - rated it 1 star

Cyraus I enjoyed your review very much! It was quirky, blunt, and was far more interesting than the book itself. ^^ I used to like Twilight also, but after reading the second novel to find out that it was as dull as the first, I did a little analyzing of my opinion and started listening to the critics of it. Thus my discovery of its sexist, insipid, lethargic "plot" of it.
Your pictures and clips were very entertaining. Thank you very much.


message 102: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Oh gee, I just realised how many Full. stops. I. put.
I was on my tablet and didn't realise! hahaha!

Yeah, I read Hush Hush and the second one and was just bored the entire time of reading, they a..."


I have several guilty pleasure series. Lol. One is the Fairywalker series and the other is the Need series. I don't know why I read them. I know they aren't that good, but I just keep reading! Lol.


message 101: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Cyraus wrote: "I enjoyed your review very much! It was quirky, blunt, and was far more interesting than the book itself. ^^ I used to like Twilight also, but after reading the second novel to find out that it was..."

I'm glad you enjoyed the review! Twilight is just one of those books that are dull to read, but fun to review. ;)


message 100: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Jordyn{readingmonster} wrote: "Funny review :) I still can't believe I used to be a twilight fan...its just one of those books that you grow out of. Its still a part of me because it got me into reading vampire books but persona..."

Thanks. :)
You are so right! It is one of those books you grow out of. Weirdly, I thought the movie was ok when I first saw it. Then I read the book and thought it was aweful. Twilight was seriously a low budget film. But, if you watch the DVD with the commentary by Rob, Kristen and the director you can listen to them make fun of the movie. It's hilarious. Lol.


message 99: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Omg, when Kristen bites her lip, I just want to scream! Lol. They did a really poor job with the sexual tension.


message 98: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair I know. That will be interesting. I really want to see how creepy baby Nessie (eww, I just used Jake's pet name for her, lol) is welcomed into the world.


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) Hahahaha! This has just turned hilarious! I've heard it's going to be "creepy" and sick but, that's coming from a gossip magazine so I highly doubt it's going to be any good at all. Has anybody noticed that Kristin Stewart does no acting whatsoever. She acts exactly like that in real life!


message 96: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Hahahaha! This has just turned hilarious! I've heard it's going to be "creepy" and sick but, that's coming from a gossip magazine so I highly doubt it's going to be any good at all. Has anybody not..."

Well, Edward rips Bella open with his teeth. Doesn't get much stranger than that. But, I'll be surprised if that scene is as gory as it is in my mind.

And oh, Kristen isn't acting. Lol. Silly. Lol. Acting requires some sort of skill. She's just being her fun loving self. Lmao.


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) Hahaha, yes I know she isn't acting! Yeah, I've read all the books but not for a LOOONG time! I may have to reread those for review as well! I just remember the birthing scene being pretty gross, but wayyy too long and I got bored quickly reading that part.


Penny Um, this review is effing beautiful. So beautiful, so genius, there are tears streaming down my cheeks as I type this. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

P.S. My copy of breaking dawn is marked up the exact same way your copy of twilight is. It is chalk full of grammar corrections, notes, and snarky comments. There might even be an occasional drawing thrown in as well. As tempting as it is to burn or bury my copies I'm thinking I will mark up the other books in the series and keep them, so when my girls grow up and want to read this shit they can also read exactly what their mother thought of it.


message 93: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair Penny wrote: "Um, this review is effing beautiful. So beautiful, so genius, there are tears streaming down my cheeks as I type this. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

P.S. My copy of breaking dawn is ..."


Thanks, Penny! Great idea, let's keep them and show them to our daughters. "See, and this is what an unhealthy relationship looks like." lol.

Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Hahaha, yes I know she isn't acting! Yeah, I've read all the books but not for a LOOONG time! I may have to reread those for review as well! I just remember the birthing scene being pretty gross, b..."

Yeah, it was ridiculously long for no apparent reason. Lol. Well, if you do re-read it, I'll be interested to see how you liked it this go round.


message 92: by Lissa (new)

Lissa Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Hahaha, yes I know she isn't acting! Yeah, I've read all the books but not for a LOOONG time! I may have to reread those for review as well! I just remember the birthing scene being pretty gross, b..."

OK, while we're talking about the actors, PERSONALLY I really like Kirsten Stewart as Bella. I think she looks like a skank in still pictures (which isn't her fault), but in motion and while watching her I felt as though, yes, she wasn't acting, and I really liked that. I felt her portrayal of Bella was very real. The hesitation, the fumbling, the nervousness. I thought it made it seem like a very true-to-life portrayal, rather than the 'perfect' acting we've become used to, as an audience, in the last thirty years or so of cinema.

OK movie comment ended... I still say this review ROCKS. I can't do the scribbling on the pages thing though, because I don't like to damage my books. Sadface.


Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) Lissa wrote: "Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Hahaha, yes I know she isn't acting! Yeah, I've read all the books but not for a LOOONG time! I may have to reread those for review as well! I just r..."

You do make an excellent point, I still think she can't act, but she does make an excellent Bella considering how clumsy and nervous she is!

Yes, this review is awesome and I agree with you Lissa, I couldn't possible scribble on my books at all, I'll just write in a notebook :)


message 90: by Steph (new) - rated it 1 star

Steph Sinclair I think that the acting from the entire cast (excluding Billy, the guy that plays Charlie, because he was always awesome) dramaticlly has improved as the movies have progressed. The facial expressions from Kristen and Rob were just awkward in Twilight. It's like they were pouring it on extra thick and it backfired.

I don't really have an issue with Kristen playing Bella. I think she actually looks like the Bella described in the books, IMO. It's just that something wasn't working out for me in Twilight. For example, when Kristen bites her lip (since Bella does so in the books), she kind of over does it. As a result it looks like she's on the verge of having an orgasim instead of looking nervous.

Most of my scribble is on the very last few chapters. It was a knee jerk reaction because I got that frustrated. It felt so liberating. Lol. I normally wouldn't do that because I have an OCD tendency to have my books a certain way: no doggy eared pages, dust cover intact, no stains on my books, ect. Oddly enough, I've actually lost a few of the series dust covers, which is my biggest pet peeve!


Penny Lissa wrote: "Taneika (Flipping Through The Pages...) wrote: "Hahaha, yes I know she isn't acting! Yeah, I've read all the books but not for a LOOONG time! I may have to reread those for review as well! I just r..."

Good point, though I respectfully disagree. I mean, have you seen KS's other movies? She plays the exact same person--angry, complaining, nervous lip-biting, eyelash fluttering, eye-rolling, sigh-heaving, shrill little bitch--in every single movie she is in (I think I've seen all of them, not counting Sunshine Cleaning, or whatever it's called). So, unless a movie roll calls for that specific brand of 'talent', I sincerely hope she fades from the spotlight. I want to punch her in the face (let it be known that I would never do such a thing--punch Kristen Stewart in the face, I mean--I just want to. Desperately).


message 88: by Penny (last edited Oct 21, 2011 10:09AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Penny I don't ever write on my books and I typically keep them in pristine condition. Ask my friends and they'll all tell you that I'm creepily overprotective of my books, sometimes--and it shames me to admit this, just so you know--giving my friends (all of which are adults) a lecture about taking the dust jacket off while reading and NEVER dog-earring MY books.

That said I made an exception for my copy of Breaking Dawn, which I slowly grew to hate (violently) during my first read-through of it. And after Jacob imprinted, all bets were off. I chucked my book-- MY BOOK!--across the room and swore. Soon after that, after Bella waxes on and on and on about what a martyr she is, and how amazing a vampire she is (and doesn't even know it) I got out a pen and started scribbling away. I also proceeded to lose the dust jacket (accidentally) AND spill hot cocoa on the pages (possibly accidentally on-purpose). The binding has since warn out due to general mistreatment (completely on-purpose).


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