SidneyKay's Reviews > The Countess

The Countess by Lynsay Sands
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
4891956
's review
Mar 08, 2011

liked it
Read in March, 2011

** spoiler alert ** I have always enjoyed reading Lynsay Sands. She is an author who I know what I'm getting when I pick up one of her books... usually something silly, be it vampire or human. The Countess, book one in the Madison Sisters series, is no exception. This story is combination slapstick and dark comedy with a little romance thrown in for good measure. The beginning of the story is a combination of Weekend at Bernie's and The Trouble with Harry, so if you like "hide the dead guy" stories, you'll like this one.

So, we have the dead guy, George, who is/was pretending to be his twin brother Richard and is married to Christiana, who has two other sisters. Of course Richard (the live one, not the dead one, who was George not Richard) has a friend, Daniel, who is attracted to Suzette, the other sister... their story is next. And then there are Robert and Lisa, and Grace, the disapproving maid. These seven people plus Dead George are together almost constantly, running back and forth, hither and yon, to Gretna Green, turn around, to London, turn around to a traveling inn, turn around. Is it any wonder this story is light on romance that grows? This is definitely a story without an angsty hero, no deep stuff here... not none, not nohow!

Of course, there were some things that irritated me. George for one. By the time they (the seven) got rid of him, I was glad to see him go. I did not find the hiding of the stiff to be funny, especially when there comes the moment of uncontrollable passionate whoo-whoo and Christina is being prodded in the back by the stiff (not the good one). They did not complete the whoo-whoo act, because of the stiff (not the good one), thank you very much! I kept thinking wouldn't Dead George be smelling by now? So, instead of a funny moment, I had a yuck moment.

And, while we are on the subject of whoo-whoo, let's talk about the amazing virgin/acrobatic/floozy heroine. You know what I'm talking about - she has sex once and turns into this woman who loves to give-give-give, orally speaking, to say nothing of the acrobatics... let's see, he's behind her, she covers the hand he has on her breast with her one hand, reaches back with her other hand and grabs his hair, then with her third arm, no it must be the first arm, she reaches behind her back to touch him, while she's bending her head back for a kiss... Eventually, because of all the pain these contortions create, they turn to face each other. Sort of. She's sitting on the bed, eye level with you know what on you know who, which leads to a little lip service. "Was that wrong?" she asks. Just once I'd love for the hero to say, "Yes! You didn't do it right." Of course, he doesn't say that and of course it leads to him not being able to stop himself from plunging in. He does, however, have to stop to put her one leg on his chest. So, she's doing splits of a sort, quite the little acrobat. I got a few chortles from this scene and I'm not sure I was supposed to.

Overall, this was a fast-paced silly book that romped over the countryside with hardly a guilt-ridden angsty person in sight and at times didn't make sense as to why they were doing what they were doing. The closest anyone came to being angst ridden is Christina, who was mentally abused by Dead George, so she has some trust issues with Dead George's twin brother Richard. If you are a Lynsay Sands fan, you will have a good time with this book.
1 like · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read The Countess.
Sign In »

No comments have been added yet.