Kat Kennedy's Reviews > The Goddess Test

The Goddess Test by Aimee Carter
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Nov 20, 11

bookshelves: just-plain-bad, kat-s-book-reviews, ya-pnr-maddness
Read from March 07 to August 03, 2011

*This ARC was provided for me by Harlequin and no money was exchanged.*

I requested this galley because, after reading the blurb, I immediately decided that the concept was awesome and that this book would be made of win. I tried to rationalize with myself that it might not be the fantastic story I was imagining, but it still had to be good, right? RIGHT?

Of course the concept of Vampire has already been taken, murdered, chopped into little pieces, jellified and poured into a modern, PC mould of super coolness.


I just didn't realize you could do that to the entire Greek Mythology as well.

And this is where to entire book falls apart. Which is extremely sad because the concept was so awesome. There was potential for REAL characters, great dialogue, witty mythology-based banter, awkward circumstances and believable chemistry.

Mythology: The Greek gods and goddesses, like normal people except with immortality and individual powers. They torment, rape or save mortals and generally act insane before retiring for the evening to get drunk and partake in debauchery.
TGT: The gods and goddesses are no longer blood relatives and they're no longer Greek. They're equal opportunity dieties. They don't stand for any immoral shenanigans and consider human life valid.



Mythology: Hades is a mostly okay god having only raped a few mortals and embroiled in a small case of kidnap which may or may not have given Persephone the world's first case of Stockholm Syndrome. He is the guardian to the Underworld which is a miserable place according to every spirit spoken to, the few retrieved or those couple who've bravely entered alive and lived to tell the tale. DON'T try to mess with or remove spirits from this horrible place. It seriously pisses Hades off though he has been known to return a spirit or two because he's a generally alright God. He's the eldest of his three brothers. He has an awesome helm of invisibility and a few other useful trinkets and also a three-headed dog.
TGT: Hades is a brooding, twenty-two year old (looking) VIRGIN immortal, with a ONE headed dog named Cerebrus and none of the awesome or LACK OF VIRGINITY. His only powers seem to be an incredible ability to angst up a room and all the romantic tact of a wet fish with a bad case of herpes (WHO IS A VIRGIN!) He also follows some preset rules (if gods don't make the rules then who does?) and is generally a pussywhipped virgin!


Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

I could go on, but I think it's enough that the original mythology which was this book's biggest drawcard, has been destroyed and along with it, the possibility of a really great story. Because, after all, you can't proudly base your story so heavily on Greek mythology and then turn it into something so very uncomfortably western and Christian based.

The characters weren't all bad. Kate was extremely exasperating in the beginning of this novel. She, for good reason, believes that Hades has the ability to take life and death right up until she's in his beautiful mansion and has seen all the proof. Then she refuses to believe any of it and insist he's crazy.

The biggest problem is that when you're reading a story about being tested to become a god or goddess, you're kind of expecting the trial to be somewhat hard. You know, stealing the Girdle of Hippolyte or DESTROY A FREAKIN' HYDRA!!! It's immortality, dude. You can't just go giving that shit away.

One day I would like to discuss why a man gets twelve tests that require strength, skill, cunning and intelligence; and a woman gets seven tests requiring morality and humility. There seems to be an underlying message there for those people who want to draw conclusions.

And that's my final problem with this story. It's not that the writing is necessarily bad or that all that characters are bad. Most of them are fine and this book is actually readable. My problem is the massive copouts left, right and centre.

Being coerced into a deal to save your mother's life should involve maybe a few more hardships than getting to wear pretty dresses, living in a rich mansion and falling in love with a super sexy God. Tests for immortality should be a little more difficult than going an afternoon without food and letting your friends have the clothes that you didn't want anyway.

Finally, I felt the entire ending of this story was the biggest copout of all.

It's been a sad trend in YA lit that everything always has to be hunky-dory perfect with a kickass outfit to boot. I was really hoping this book would be something special and unique. The Goddess Test didn't pass its final grade.


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Comments (showing 51-70 of 70) (70 new)

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message 51: by Jen (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jen Where does it say he's a virgin?


Kat Kennedy Hmmm, it's been awhile since I read it but I believe at one point the MC asks Henry about Persephone and Henry confirms that not only did they never make love but he never had sex with anyone else. Someone who still has a copy might come in and give further details but I no longer have acces to this book or any interest in tracking down the page number. Reading it once was painful enough.


message 53: by Jen (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jen ok, anyone got the specific pg?


message 54: by Lucy (last edited Nov 29, 2011 03:19AM) (new)

Lucy Since you're the one who missed it the first time maybe you should be the one re-reading your 'awesome, fantastic book' instead of asking the nice lady who already read it once and didn't like it.


message 55: by Meg (new)

Meg What a waste of an awesome sounding concept. So glad I didn't end up buying it. Awesome review Kat!


message 56: by Jen (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jen i have read it twice:( wow... how could i miss something like that?


message 57: by Linzi (new)

Linzi "One day I would like to discuss why a man gets twelve tests that require strength, skill, cunning and intelligence; and a woman gets seven tests requiring morality and humility."
DO ..... Please - I am so sick of this too!


Wadzanai Mufunde I've just read this book and completely loved it. Having read the Percy Jackson series, I've been looking for something like it but for YA. I then read Oh. My. Gods. by Tera Lynn Childs and mildly enjoyed it but was thoroughly disappointed with the lack of any actual gods, not even in the sequel. The sequel was worse. I do understand what you mean by the drastic change from the greek gods to what Carter has turned them into. I actually rather liked Henry, but I wish he was a lot more bad ass, like I imagine Hades to be. But if any god would want to fade into nothing, Hades would. Mmm... yeah the 7 deadly sins are Christian and I found the whole thing very weird. How can Carter explain mythology being so distorted that they were actually so very virtuous but were then portrayed as overly hormonal beings with more wrath than a war lord. And I do think that her tests should have been harder, like Heracles hard. Seeing her fights some monsters would have been awesome. And whilst I see the sexism, the gods ARE old school. Women weren't necessarily meant to do that sort of stuff. But if I want monster fighting, I'll pick up a Rick Riordan book.


Kat Kennedy There have been many warrior women in history. If I want monster fighting then I'll just as happily pick up Kate Daniels.


message 60: by Zarah (new)

Zarah Hahaha!! I DIE! This review is absolutely hilarious - and I thank you - because now I haven't only added a few years to my life (thanks tothe laugh) but I've also learned that I should stay away from these books because, let's face it, Greek Mythology rocks and this... seems to not. At all. ;)


message 61: by Celeste (new)

Celeste Worst book ever!:(


Victoria Melendez I completely agree with this review and I did not like this book whats so ever!! And I died of laughter at the "It's immortality, dude. You can't just go giving that shit away." because as I was reading this is exactly what I was thinking!


message 63: by Jennyela (new) - added it

Jennyela Huerta I'm also don't like this book.
it's so disgusting.. right


message 64: by Sterling (new) - added it

Sterling Sandler I'm just curious what did u mean by requesting a book from harlequin


Kat Kennedy I get Advanced Reader Copies from publishers because I am evil and they fear my influence on the world if I'm allowed to be idle.


Laura the Highland Hussy Kat wrote: "I get Advanced Reader Copies from publishers because I am evil and they fear my influence on the world if I'm allowed to be idle."

Lol Kat! But seriously, you're not wrong


message 67: by Sierra (new)

Sierra I get to read a lot of Advanced Reader Copies as well.
Pretty awesome stuff.


Kat Kennedy Laura: You're first to go in my evil plan for dominio- Ohhhh! A pretty good book! Laterz! Gotta go read!


message 69: by Star (new) - rated it 3 stars

Star I totally agree with but I dint remember any vampires


message 70: by Grace (new)

Grace Jenkins Hi I'm a bit curious uhmm do you have something against virgins? lol


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