Manny's Reviews > You grunt I'll groan: the inside story of wrestling

You grunt I'll groan by Jackie Pallo
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The other day, Mariel posted a piece of writing where she admitted that she was yet another person who followed the weekly contest between Paul Bryant and myself on the UK popular list. I'm sorry: I can't keep quiet any longer. Some day, the truth was bound to come out, and that day is today.

Deep breath. Mariel and everyone else, I have been living a lie for the last two and a half years. You asked if I was a consortium and I brazenly denied it. In fact, 31 different people, from five countries, have written for "Manny Rayner". But "Paul Bryant" is no better. At the last count, he had 27 authors in his stable. You're wondering how I know. Simple: three people write for both of us.

At first it was pretty innocent. We did it for the fame, the glamour, the girls and the sheer fun of it. The girls, I hear you ask? Well, you just wouldn't believe how many Goodreads groupies there are. I feel ashamed now when I think of the number we've taken advantage of, but at the time it somehow seemed alright. Consenting adults... anyway, most of them were adults. Sigh. I know. I know.

It only really started getting ugly when the spread-betting guys moved in and serious money started changing hands. There was suddenly a lot of pressure on us to start fixing results. The Russians... okay, I'd better not go into details about that, but you've probably noticed that there are a lot of Russian people on this site. Of course, some of them are only here because they like reviewing books. Then, there are others who... anyway, you get the picture. Let's just say that the pot most weeks is well over twenty million dollars, and that kind of money tends to attract unsavoury characters. Shit. I wanted to drop out - Paul did too - but they wouldn't let us. Too much at stake.

Right. The Witness Protection Program say they can keep us safe and it'll be better if we just make a public confession and disappear quietly. I hope they know what they're talking about. Unfortunately, too many of the writers have my password, and there's nothing to stop them continuing to post in my name. Not much I can do about that.

Well, I'm just glad I was finally able to come clean. Don't think too badly of me. Over and out.
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Comments (showing 1-26 of 26) (26 new)

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notgettingenough See? I knew wrestling was all real.


message 2: by Mariel (new)

Mariel Which one is the grunt?


Manny Mariel wrote: "Which one is the grunt?"

Ah... we take turns. I think I was due to do it this week.


message 4: by Grace (new)

Grace Tjan It's not real? I'm losing my faith. I'm now officially a GR atheist.


Manny Sandybanks wrote: "It's not real? I'm losing my faith. I'm now officially a GR atheist."

You've always got Pierce, haven't you? I mean, how many gods do you need?


message 6: by Grace (new)

Grace Tjan Manny wrote: "Sandybanks wrote: "It's not real? I'm losing my faith. I'm now officially a GR atheist."

You've always got Pierce, haven't you? I mean, how many gods do you need?"


Lots of them. I'm very insecure.


message 7: by Mariel (new)

Mariel PB won this week! The stakes are getting higher!


message 8: by Manny (last edited Feb 26, 2011 10:11AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Manny Mariel wrote: "PB won this week! The stakes are getting higher!"

A lot of people were surprised by his last-minute against-the-odds comeback and lost their shirts... well, I'd better not be too explicit here...


message 9: by Mariel (new)

Mariel I understand. I'm sure their gods will forgive what they have to do.


message 10: by David (new)

David Katzman this is your best review in a long time because it's so honest! Thank you.


message 11: by Manny (last edited Feb 27, 2011 11:31PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Manny David wrote: "this is your best review in a long time because it's so honest! Thank you."

I'm glad you liked it. In the end, someone had to tell the truth...


message 12: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant It's complicated though. Most of the votes for either myself or "Manny" are cast by sock puppets set up by Indian syndicates operating through agents registered mostly in Panama and the British Virgin Islands. These syndicates either construct fictional identities, like "Mariel" or "Laura" and then maneuver like crazy as the big money rolls in from the heavy hitters in Taiwan, Malaysia and recently, the Faroe Islands. They also employ teams of writers to post reviews under the name "Mariel" to avoid suspicion. Sadly, the News of the World ran an expose on some of these writers - they can be as young as ten, working in sweatshops for 12 hours a day. Disgraceful. But that is the way this wicked world operates.


message 13: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant I should have mentioned that this also explains a lot of the outrageous numbers of votes for some of those Twilight reviews. I hope no one thought those were real numbers!


notgettingenough Paul wrote: "It's complicated though. Most of the votes for either myself or "Manny" are cast by sock puppets set up by Indian syndicates operating through agents registered mostly in Panama and the British Vir..."

I just want everybody to know that sock puppets have feelings and opinions too. We They don't just say what Manny and Paul want.


message 15: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant Come on, Not, we now know you're ten different kids in Sri Lanka!


message 16: by David (new)

David Katzman I, for one, am a cyborg.


message 17: by Mariel (new)

Mariel I Robot You, Paul Bryant.


message 18: by David (new)

David Katzman What, cyborg over here doesn't get a Robot?


message 19: by Mariel (new)

Mariel Kathy Lee Gifford's Wal-Mart deal doesn't fund it.


message 20: by Paul (last edited Feb 28, 2011 12:38PM) (new)

Paul Bryant Anyway, all kidding aside, I've been thinking I really need a big hit review. I've been only picking up 7s and 8s recently. Really the doldrums. I need to break out. Something in the region of 200 votes. I need to appeal to a wider demographic. I need to throughput the 30-55 ABs but really target the massive YA presence on this site. Somebody tell me what the next big thing in YA is! Is it angels? Or was that last year? If I could find a book which combines angels, vampires and Proust and work it up into some high concept parody of Borges at the same time that should do the trick - what do you think? No, Borges is too off-putting to the 15-18 year olds. I'm floundering here...


message 21: by Mariel (last edited Feb 28, 2011 12:39PM) (new)

Mariel Unicorns!!!!! Paul, can I pick a book for you to read and review?


message 23: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant Well.... only if you write my page up in your Reviewers Reviewed series... and even then if it's Proust I reserve the right to take a long time...


message 24: by Mariel (new)

Mariel It will be a vote getting book! That's not Proust.
And you got a hall of fame just for yourself. What more do you want? (you'll get one in due time)


message 25: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant Oh yeah, I sort of forgot. Anyway, you probably noticed I'm insatiable.


message 26: by Mariel (new)

Mariel I have noticed. Manny got a god bid.


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