Jeannie's Reviews > The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
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's review
Feb 18, 2011

really liked it
bookshelves: christian, marriage, non-fiction, own, personal-growth, male-authors
Read from February 14 to 18, 2011 — I own a copy

Rating: a little over 4 stars.

This book was good. The concepts are important. I got the singles edition as well so I could actually apply these ideas to my current life. The book got a little tedious, though. I felt the first 9 chapters were all that were needed. These chapters encompassed an overview of how Chapman came to the 5-language conclusion, a discussion of each of the five languages, and a "how to determine your love language." I felt the remaining chapters served very little purpose other than to make the book a little longer. In a few weeks, I will likely skim and maybe read the Singles Edition.

One issue I had with this book was one Chapman didn't address at the extent I thought he should have. Because different people speak different love languages, a certain expression of love that might not be your primary language can mean more coming from a person for whom that expression is difficult than if that person acted within your primary love language. This might seem like an inconsequential issue, but, if I know that it is hard for someone to express him/herself through physical touch (he or she isn't a huggy person), I will recognize how much he or she must care about me if he or she gives me a warm hug. Now, I test low for physical touch being my love language; however, knowing another person's disposition would make that hug mean a lot more to me ("fill my love tank") than if a huggy person embraced me, or potentially even if that person had spoken my language.

I suppose my point is, while it is important for people to learn to express love for others in ways that speak to them in their own language, I didn't feel Chapman addressed the fact love is coming from another person and knowing what is more difficult for that person should mean a lot. Perhaps that wasn't addressed so much in this book, though, since it was written for married couples. I still feel that someone would value my hugs more than the gifts I give because those hugs are rarer than the gifts.
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08/16/2016 marked as: read

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