Bryan's Reviews > A Princess of Mars

A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
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Mar 20, 11

bookshelves: audiobooks, sf, fantasy
Read from February 10 to March 15, 2011, read count: 2




Transcript from the John Carter sessions
(from the files of Dr. Wm (Bill) Loney, Doctor of Psychiatry)

Carter: So where were we last time, doc?

Doctor: We were talking about representations of things that are ideals for you, and how they are expressed in imaginative fantasies.

Carter: What was that?

Doctor: (sighs) You were telling me about Barsoom and your adventures there.

Carter: Yeah... that's right. I traveled there, you know? It's Mars, actually.

Doctor: How did you know it was Mars?

Carter: There's no other explanation... Did you know they discovered an 8th and 9th ray there? Our rainbow has ROYGBIV, but they have two others.

Doctor: And what range of wavelengths along the continuous spectra of electromagnetic radiation would they associate with those rays?

Carter: Hmmm... I think it was #8 and #9... following Violet, which is #7, of course.

Doctor: Is Violet important? Associated with a female name, perhaps?

Carter: No, I told you the woman's name is Dejah Thoris. I am her betrothed. But it's a tragic love story, and here I am back on Earth... She is my princess Dejah Thoris, and I am her greatest warrior.

Doctor: Anagrammatic for "other jihads"?

Carter: No other woman came close to her perfection. I have never seen a finer example of womanhood.

Doctor: I seem to recall you saying that she was hatched from an egg. If I may speak abreast of certain delicate issues, was she lacking any particular physical attributes common to women?

Carter: (thinks for a moment) She can not tell a lie... And she lives with honor in everything she does.

Doctor: The unattainable finally achieved, and then irrevocably torn asunder. But tell me more about your heroic feats - you described your physical prowess as being somewhat godlike.

Carter: On Earth, I'm just an exemplary soldier. It's due to my many years of experience in fighting. But on Mars, I am the finest fighting specimen around. I think it's due to the weaker gravity and thinner atmosphere, but I can jump higher and move more quickly than the native inhabitants.

Doctor: Your glories epitomize physical perfection. Are there other, similarly awesome qualities you embody?

Carter: Well... I'd like to say I'm smarter too, but I tend to act first and think later. If only I'd remembered sooner about (view spoiler)... But I don't want to talk about that.

Doctor: I think our time is up. We've accomplished a lot. Please be sure to pay the receptionist on the way out. Yes, cash is preferred.

Carter: Ok.. bye doc.

Doctor: And don't forget to put on some clothes... I tolerate it during these sessions, but you really can't go around everywhere on the planet unclothed, you know. People will begin to think you're crazy...


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Beth   (the one who is) ha ! Thanks for the laugh :P


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