Mitchii's Reviews > If I Die

If I Die by Rachel Vincent
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Sep 28, 11

bookshelves: 2011-reads, all-time-favorites, young-adult, paranormal, infinite-stars, urban-fantasy, top-featured-shelf
Read on September 27, 2011

This is probably the hardest review to write ever. I’m still taking everything in. Yes, as in everything in this book is made of deliciously well plotted scenes, undeniably awesome characters *coughs* Tod *coughs* and heart stopping revelation that still shocked me until now. After I read it, I have this strong urge to reread it immediately, that’s how addicting it is. Once is definitely not enough to relish this book’s awesomeness. And before I start gushing like a mad fangirl, I have to get this one out! TOD, I LOVE YOU!!!!

*clears throat* Ok, let’s begin the show.

This fifth installment of the soul screamer series is a game changer indeed. And just like everyone else, I’m eagerly anticipating for the next one. Because this book? It blew me away. I can’t believe that Ms. Vincent did it. And I must say she did it triumphantly. I have a vague idea of what will happen (I think I “like” all reviews in GR already). But what I love about her writing is it’s just no way to predict it, unless you read it yourself. Because if there’s one thing I really commend about her story is its unpredictability. She’s not afraid to explore every possibility, like she did here. My heart did some erratic beats due to excitement and nervousness of what about to happen. I think I held my breath for a few seconds before I regained my normal breathing when I finally found out what happened to my favorite character. Glad I have a strong respiratory system. (I’ll give you a clue: his name starts with a T, ends with a D and have O in the middle. Any guess?)

Now for part two, more (vague) details.

Surprisingly, I’m not mad at Nash. If not, I actually kinda pity him. He’s not a bad guy. Sure, he did some mistakes in the past that eventually the reason why he is in this sorry state. But he’s a guy, he’s a teenager, he’s a human, er, bean sidhe, I think even with his specie, mistake follows him. Everyone does. So from now on I’m not gonna hold the frost incident against him anymore. And I truly wish he’ll get back in the game. But for the record, I’m a Tod fan (a solid Tod fan), and so my loyalty (especially his love life) lies with him.

Ah, well, before I forget, I think I’m warming up with Sabine. After the stunt she pulled here, I can see her character a little clearer. I don’t hate her now. There’s an incident in this book that made me realized that. She’s still isn’t my favorite, but she’s not part of my hate list now. And that’s definitely a good sign.

About Kaylee? So you read the summary, she’s gonna die, right? Weeeell, I’m not gonna tell you what happened (got you there! Huh! Like I’m gonna spoil you). I suggest you get a copy and read it. The only way to fully grasp what happened to her is to know it yourself. After you read it, you’ll thank me that I didn’t spoil you. I guarantee!

Now for the last part. The Tod part.

*drum rolls please*

Holy freaking molly, and I thought it’s not possible to fall in love with this guy again. But I am wrong. Damn wrong. I think I fell in love with him all over again. He’s just… just… awesome in every proportion. I LOVE everything about him. The pizza, the sarcasm, the blond curls—soft blond curls, and the hospital coffee. Everything. Just everything.

This is weird; I think they already told you every nice thing Tod had done for Kaylee. And we swooned. Yep, I’m part of that crowd. But you know what, that made me realized one thing that made him just an almost perfect knight in shining armor. Tod will do anything—as in anything. Regardless if he sacrifices someone, even if the said sacrifice is evil. Morally unacceptable, what'd you think? But did I like him less knowing that? NO. This proved that he isn’t flawless. But even with that I still love him. Like I said I love everything about him, even the nasty ones.

*a somewhat spoilery part*

Tod and Kaylee is been a long time coming. Five books in the making, four books to build up and one explosive realization. WOW! I admit, I’m rooting them since book three (yeah, just book three, I applauded people who saw the potential of these two from the very beginning. Very keen instincts guys! Bravo!) It’s like a dream come true for me. I’m happy that they finally found each other in the right place. I have nothing against Nash (I told you I’m rooting them only on book three). Because I liked Nash for Kaylee (at least back then) but in retrospect, I felt Nash/Kaylee’s relationship was somewhat ideal, it’s too perfect. That’s why when the frost came, it soiled it, and eventually ruined it. As long as trust is still an issue for them, their relationship wouldn’t work.

What I liked about Tod and Kaylee, it has depth. There’s a foundation in there. A solid one. They knew each other. And they’re still trying to get to know more about each other. The good and the bad ones. Secrets and truths. Fears and happiness. They both need each other. It wasn’t forced, it was there and ready to grow (gosh, I’m sounding like poet, but it’s so true).

Ok, I said enough. I might babble endlessly. But you guys gotta read this! If you enjoyed the first four books and just like me love Tod in the most addicting way, then you’ll love this book! It’s awesome all in one package!


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Quotes Mitchii Liked

Rachel Vincent
“You just say the word, and I'll make the rest of the world go away. I'll take you someplace safe, where no one else can reach us.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“You think I need to be rescued?"
"I think it doesn't hurt to let someone else do the rescuing every now and then, when your own armor starts to get banged up.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“He shrugged, looking right into my eyes. "Right now, this is all I feel." He held our intertwined hands up for me to see and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't break the hold his gaze had on me, like he could see more than anyone else saw. Things I couldn't see myself.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“You know, most girls sleep with a teddy bear or an extra pillow. But I gotta say, that's kinda hot...”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“How long can you keep me invisible?"
"As long as were in physical contact."
My throat felt dry. "Holding hands?" That's how we'd done it last time.
"Unless you had something else in mind?”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“Eastlake High makes Buffy's hellmouth look like a crack in the sidewalk.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“Tod's pale brows arched halfway up his forehead, and he looked suddenly, achingly wistful. "She knows not what she says..."

Maybe not. But I was starting to get a pretty good idea...”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“I could have kissed you months ago, but it wouldn’t have meant anything. I wished for you to see me. And want me. So…did you mean it?”
“Yes,” I said, and some unnamed tension inside me eased. “I see you, Tod.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“You should be careful, tossing descriptors like that around in a situation like this. My ‘problem’ isn’t little. Unless you’re drawing some pretty wild comparisons. Please tell me you’re not drawing wild comparisons. Or blood-relative comparisons.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die

Rachel Vincent
“Only two years dead, and it was getting harder for me to feel…anything. I was starting to slip into the darkness. The numbness. And the worst part is that it wasn’t even scary. I was losing myself, and I didn’t even care. Then I met you, and at first I didn’t understand what had happened. What had changed. All I knew was that I wanted to be near you. Then you helped me with Addison, even though it nearly got you killed—I nearly got you killed—and I started to understand how special you are. But by then, you were getting serious with Nash. With my brother—one of few people in the whole world I still gave a damn about. So I tried to stay away. I tried so hard.” His voice cracked on the last word, and my heart cracked with it. Tears stood in my eyes, but I was afraid to let them fall. I was afraid to even breathe for fear of missing a single word. "But you kept pulling me back. You’re the brightest thing I’ve ever seen, Kaylee. You’re this beautiful ball of fire spitting sparks out at the world, burning fiercely, holding back the dark by sheer will. And I always knew that if I reached out—if I tried to touch you—I’d get burned. Because you’re not mine. I’m not supposed to feel the fire. I’m not supposed to want it. But I do. I want you, Kaylee, like I’ve never wanted anything. Ever. I want the fire. I want the heat, and the light, and I want the burn.”
Rachel Vincent, If I Die


Comments (showing 1-4 of 4) (4 new)

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Jennifer Well said! I totally saw the potential in Kaylee and Tod from the moment Nash took Kaylee to meet him. But like with most books I totally thought Rachel Vincent would keep her with the first guy. I am so happy I was wrong. I really never thought that would happen. As someone who always roots for the other guy this book was a true win for me!


message 2: by Mitchii (last edited Sep 29, 2011 08:22AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Mitchii @Jennifer: Thank you. You also did? Oh boy, I'm so naive then, I only saw it in MSKeep.

I also thought that Rachel will stick with first man policy like in other books. But isn't she awesome? She decided to make it happen and she made Tod's fan dream come true. I couldn't be happier.

Me too, I always root for the other guy. I'm so happy in this series the rooting paid off. I really hope it's not short-lived! (I'm worry wart :X)


message 3: by Jennifer (last edited Oct 01, 2011 02:49AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jennifer I worry too but I feel like Kaylee & Tod are a pretty sealed deal. I mean she is immortal like him now so they can be together forever on an equal level. And I don't think Nash would ever take her back now so I'm hoping they work out. There is still two more books so I am sure there will be relationship drama between them to keep the story intriguing and full of conflict but I think in the end they will be together.


message 4: by Mitchii (last edited Oct 01, 2011 12:15PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Mitchii @ Jennifer: I read Rachel's post on deadlinedames and someone asked her about Kaylee and Tod's future (romantically speaking of course) and she hinted that there's more of "those scenes." So yeah, with what happened in IID and Rachel's assurance, I guess I have to put away my doubts and embraced it fully. I'm pretty confident now that they will end up together.


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