If you (not you personally, just you, a teen girl) were a generic teen girl, why would you want to read about giant killer unicorns? It's hardly a generic teen subject. The idea behind the cover is probably to fool generic teen girls into thinking this is a generic teen book about shining white horned (possibly horny, if the title is anything to go by!)horses that cuddle with virgin maidens. I think. I haven't read this book, so I'm only speculating...

Vinaya wrote: "If you (not you personally, just you, a teen girl) were a generic teen girl, why would you want to read about giant killer unicorns?"

because they are awesome.

presumably this is a truth universal.

If they are so awesome, why is this on your never-to-read-ever bookshelf?

Vinaya wrote: "If you (not you personally, just you, a teen girl) were a generic teen girl, why would you want to read about giant killer unicorns? It's hardly a generic teen subject. The idea behind the cover is..."

Actually, the novel is about girls who train to HUNT AND KILL giant killer unicorns. ;)

Vinaya wrote: "If they are so awesome, why is this on your never-to-read-ever bookshelf?"

Because it has a generic teen girl on the cover and, according to the laws of major publishing house marketing, is thus not for me.

Lol, are they generic teen girls, as Joel seems to suspect, having, I think, totally judged the book by its cover?

Jillian -always aspiring- wrote: "Actually, the novel is about girls who train to HUNT AND KILL giant killer unicorns."

then the cover should be a generic teen girl holding aloft the severed head of a giant killer unicorn. some of the blood should be dripping onto her, but she doesn't care, because she is a warrior triumphant.

Vinaya wrote: "Lol, are they generic teen girls, as Joel seems to suspect, having, I think, totally judged the book by its cover?"

you seem to have grasped the point of this "review."

I agree, something more like this would be appropriate.

MS Paint ftw!

Lol, Flannery, I don't know what your current profession is, but whatever it is, QUIT IT right now! And go join Simon & Schuster or Hyperion or some other publishers of generic teen books. God knows they could use the fresh blood (pun intended)!

This books sounds out. of. control.

yes, while i will probably never read it, it doesn't really belong on the "will never read" shelf because i would totally be willing to read it.

I think this is possibly the best review EVER! lol

At least there is a sword!

yes but the unicorn reflected in the blade scarcely looks evil at all. where is the blood? the gore? the impaling?

Joel wrote: "yes but the unicorn reflected in the blade scarcely looks evil at all. where is the blood? the gore? the impaling?

"

I just sent that picture to my brother's girlfriend. thank you.

Maybe these are sissy unicorns. She is probably the bad kid in Toy Story.

Joel, I'm lured here not because of the book, but because of the pictures. I'm a sucker for good pictures! Cheap trick, but it works on me. Killer unicorns. Hmmmm Normally, I can't stand YA unless it's sophisticated YA, like Pullman's His Dark Materials series, especially if the YA features a picture of a girl on the cover, like it's for tweens. Very bad choice of cover art.

I love the review, but I "gotta" say that I looked closely at the face on the cover (to enable me to decide whether or not this book is for me), and now I'm less concerned about the hooks that businesses use to grab customers and more concerned about this representation of a "generic teen girl." Does the "generic teen girl" see herself (or her inner self) in the face on that cover? I really hope not. Does the "seriously disturbed generic teen girl" (oxymoron or redundancy???) identify with the girl on the cover? Oh well, at least the cover that sucks inspired a very entertaining review of "something."

Reese wrote: "I love the review, but I "gotta" say that I looked closely at the face on the cover (to enable me to decide whether or not this book is for me), and now I'm less concerned about the hooks that busi..."

she looks generic to me.

book cover generic maybe. if you saw someone in real life that had been that heavily photoshopped, you'd probably want to get her to a doctor.

Liked you review, funny killer unicorns! GO TO HELL! BWahaha!

this review is now famous: http://www.dianapeterfreund.com/two-s...

thanks for the assist, flannery.

I'd never read this book because I can't figure out how blood can ever "ooze freely". (See above link.)

Thanks for the laughs. All the pics would make better covers!

all my image links were dead! fixed!

ew. hahaha.

Best. Review. Ever.

dont be ridicuous. You are judging a book by its cover...literally!

This has to be one of the funniest reviews ever. hehe.

Joel wrote: ""

Sure it is.

well i'm glad you get it. your posts otherwise suggest you are pretty humorless.

Joel wrote: "well i'm glad you get it. your posts otherwise suggest you are pretty humorless."

Lol you obviously know nothing about me. Hahahaha humorless. That's a good one.

i know! that's why i'm so glad you clarified that you understood that i wasn't actually judging this book, but literally only judging its cover.

Yeaah. But you really should read the book, I'm reading it now and it isn't bad.

Hold on - the quote is "ooze freely" - how can a book with such an oxymoron in it be good?

robert, you are repeating yourself! (see your comment from february.)

Yes - but I was emphasising the point to the person suggesting it was "not bad"...unless by "not bad" she meant, "terrible."

oh, i see. point taken.

This thread has taken an odd turn.

It should be hastily abandoned like a dead hooker under a viaduct.

You're right, it's not my place to say that by "not bad" you meant "terrible" so it's a good thing I didn't do so!

It should be hastily abandoned like a dead hooker under a viaduct.

Birthday party get out of control, David?

You've made a great point. Why isn't there a picture of an evil Unicorn on there? Or at least one that LOOKS innocent, until you take a closer look and see a fang hanging out! lol...But maybe, just maybe {pulling at straws here} that the publishers didn't want to scare the kids that would pass by the book? Hey..I'm pulling at straws here! lol

Your, and everyone else's comments really makes me want to read this. I survived the 50 Shades trilogy so I think I can make it through this book.

When I say survived, I mean it almost sucked the will to read ever again out of me.

Stephanie wrote: "Your, and everyone else's comments really makes me want to read this. I survived the 50 Shades trilogy so I think I can make it through this book."

there is probably no man-on-unicorn BDSM in this.

probably.

Ooo now that would be a good book. Think of all the things that horn could be used for.

Stephanie wrote: "Ooo now that would be a good book. Think of all the things that horn could be used for."

Everything's been done already.

Unicorn's Reluctant Mate

Woah! I am certainly behind the times. I need to get hip to the uniporn.