Andrew Shaffer's Reviews > First Step 2 Forever

First Step 2 Forever by Justin Bieber
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Jan 29, 2011

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The first thing you feel is its weight in your hands, which screams, "this is an important book." "First Step 2 Forever" is a hardcover, multi-colored monstrosity that clocks in at 240 pages... half of which feature full-page pictures of the 16-year-old Bieber. This should please the majority of his pint-sized fans, who are looking for nothing more than a visual companion to Bieber's equally sugar-coated albums.

There's no way to accurately convey the inherent absurdity in reading a memoir written by someone who is only 16 years old. I'm reminded of this Friedrich Nietzsche quote: "Gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." In many ways, "First Step 2 Forever" compares to Anne Frank's diary, but the comparison ends at their young ages. At least in my opinion.

Bieber spends an inordinate amount of time talking about girls. As he writes in big letters that fill an entire page: "I really like... girls... girls... girls... girls... girls... girls... girls..." But don't peg him as a one-trick pony: "There are lots of things I really like besides girls. Like pizza.... And CHUCK NORRIS." And boy does he ever love Chuck Norris, whose name appears in all caps every time he's mentioned.

He also likes "pranking," which, if the pictures are to be believed, consists of shooting his friends and bandmates with a giant super-soaker water gun. No, I don't get it either. One of those, "You had to be there" things. Or maybe you can be there, when Bieber takes over hosting duties on MTV's Punk'd for Ashton Kutcher.

Bieber even takes a few pages to debunk some rumors that have apparently been swirling online about him:

* Im not dead. I had to check on this one... but it turns out Im alive
* Im not Peter Pan... Im growing up and my voice will change...
* I am not 10 feet tall and I dont shoot fire balls from my a**... that was BraveHeart
* No CHUCK NORRIS is not my real father... although he did birth to Hercules

Those aren't my grammatical or spelling errors, by the way. The book simply reproduces many of Bieber's Tweets without fixing them for grammar or spelling. Will anyone really care? Doubtful.

In a few places, Bieber slows down the breakneck pace of his young life to wax poetic on the state of the North American family circa 2010. "If you feel like a freak because you don't have a normal family, I've got news for you: pretty much nobody does," he writes in one moving chapter about his own family.

In one sentence, he says pretty much what took Jonathan Franzen 576 pages to say in "The Corrections" -- more or less. Could "First Step 2 Forever" be the next Oprah Book Club pick?

If you're looking for a behind-the-scenes rock-n-roll biography, pick up Nikki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries." If you want the world's most narcissistic high school yearbook, however, "First Step 2 Forever" is your new bicycle.
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Comments (showing 1-5 of 5) (5 new)

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message 1: by Pauline (new)

Pauline I'm just glad you read this so I don't have to.

So, what are the three stars for? :P

Andrew Shaffer The three stars are for the ghostwriter, the editor, and the photographer.

message 3: by Sarah (new)

Sarah OMG.... You are AWESOME. "the ghostwriter, editor, and photographer"... Hahaha! But I don't suppose he has an editor (at least a veery good one) with those pathetic spelling and grammar errors. Then again, he doesn't know what German is, so his stupidity doesn't surprise me.

message 4: by J (new) - added it

J I wonder how @EmperorFranzen feels about your Franzen comment? LOL

message 5: by Me (new) - added it

Me i LOVE your first line!!

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