Chris's Reviews > Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
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Feb 09, 08

bookshelves: fantasy, harry-potter
Read in July, 2007

Since pretty much everyone I know has read these books, I figure reviewing them is pretty pointless. But with the new book coming out in a couple of weeks, I have to go through them beginning to end. To make the reviews more entertaining, I will be doing them in a variety of unexpected formats. For this review, I will be writing as Crookshanks fan fiction.

Crookshanks swished his tail back and forth as he crept up the stairs to the boys' bedrooms. He knew the rat wasn't what it was pretending to be, but all of his attempts to alert the humans to this fact had failed. "I don't know why I even bother," he muttered to himself. "I could get along fine without any of them. Let the rat do whatever it is it's trying to do. So long as Girl keeps feeding me and scratching my belly, I'll - hello, what's this?"

He could smell the rat. Its scent was like nothing Crookshanks had ever smelled, and for all his time living in a magical pet shop, he'd smelled a lot. The rat did smell like a rat, yes, but there was also something else. Something... human. It was just like that big black dog he'd met on the grounds the other day. Every instinct in him had screamed to run away, but there was that smell. And even Crookshanks knew what they said about cats and curiosity. The dog had turned out to be more than just a dog, and it had convinced Crookshanks to help it. First order of business: retrieve a certain rat from the bedroom of the Red-Haired Boy.

The Boy wasn't in, but the rat was. Crookshanks circled the bed a few times. This time, maybe, he would be able to get the damn thing. He tensed for a moment and then leapt onto the bed.

By luck or skill, he was nearly on top of the thing when he landed. "A-HA!" he yowled. "Gotcha!" He pinned the rat under his sizable paw. "Where you gonna run to now, ratty?" he asked, sneering as best he could.

The rat writhed in his grip. "Please," it said. "Just let me go. You don't know what will happen if you eat me, it would be a terrible mistake!"

"A mistake, eh?" the cat said. "We'll see about that. I have a great big doggie friend who's just aching to get his jaws around you...."

He barely had time to finish his sentence when the rat went mad. It squealed and bit and slashed with its paws. And then, against all of Crookshanks' previous experience - it grew! It nearly threw the cat off the bed as it became much more massive - its legs lengthened and its arms stretched until it had reached a human size and shape. Crookshanks goggled. Of all the things he'd expected from this rat, this wasn't it. The human grabbed at him, but Crookshanks was too fast. He jumped off the bed and shimmied under the wardrobe, where he could see but not be seen.

The human looked around, breathing heavily. He was pale and thin, and still looked ratty. "Think, Peter, think," he said. "Gotta get out of here, but..." He stopped, glanced at the wardrobe, and grimaced. "You may just have given me my way out, cat," he said. And then he bit the ball of his hand.

Blood dripped out, leaving spreading red blotches on the sheets. "They'll think it was you," he said. "They'll leave me for dead and I'll be free to rejoin my Lord." He looked at the recently repaired curtains on Ron's bed. "It's not safe here anymore." He sucked at the wound to stop the bloodflow and then went to the window. Perched on the windowsill, he looked over at Crookshanks' hiding place. "If I were human," he said, "the fall would kill me. But as a rat...." His body rippled and twisted and shrank, and then there was an old grey rat on the sill. Crookshanks was pretty sure it winked at him before leaping off.

After a minute or two, Crookshanks wriggled out from under the wardrobe, his thoughts dark. The Red-Haired Boy was going to be angry, and so was the Girl. But more importantly, the Dog was going to be furious. It was barely holding on to its sanity as it was. Crookshanks shook his head. This was going to get worse before it would get better...
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Comments (showing 1-37 of 37) (37 new)

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message 1: by Sammy (new) - added it

Sammy That's really cool.


message 2: by Angela (new) - added it

Angela What the hell are u talking about?


Pauline Brilliant review. Very clever! Look forward to more of your reviews.


message 4: by Tanner (new)

Tanner Parker This book eas really cool. I thought it was a great book because it kept me busy, I loved it


♥ Caitlin Lol, love your review.


Blythe Bolar Good review


Dyuti Wow! You made my day. Looking forward to more!


Brooke Awesome review!


Srinivas WOW, what a review?, 1st "non-story" review, i read


Ellie Crookshanks fan fiction needs to happen more often.


Gracie Why is this stinking review SOOOOO LONG! I mean it's good, but I think it's almost like your rewriting the WHOLE book! I only write about a paragraph for my reviews, NOTHING even close to getting an F in school if I ever had to turn it in! By the way ⚡POWER TO THE SCAR!!!!


Nadia Torok What an interesting review...though if i hadn't read the books it would probably not be a very helpful review. Still good, though, don't get me wrong. I just mean that you took creative liberty with the term "review," but there's no problem with that. And you can tell by this travesty of garbled English that I am clearly no better. In fact, i said much less than you. So let me put an end to this nothingness by finishing with a definitive statement. No creativity whatsoever.

I liked this review. There.


Victoria OMG YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER!!!

That was really cool


Anthony Diaz I love these books there exciting and hilarious at times and you did an amazing job with the review Nice job


Cristina Thurston Another book? Seriously? Where did you see that, I've been looking all over the web but nothing says that she'll be publishing another book, I mean of course apart from The Casual Vacancy


Paige Wow!
What a good rewiew I loved it!!


Grace Attfield How do u read the books. I can read the reviews but I dont know how 2 read the actual books
Great review tho,
I really enjoyed it


Charity AWESOME.


Daniella That Crookshanks fic was epic, one fanfic writer to another. :)


message 20: by Laura (new) - added it

Laura Cristina wrote: "Another book? Seriously? Where did you see that, I've been looking all over the web but nothing says that she'll be publishing another book, I mean of course apart from The Casual Vacancy"

He wrote this review when Deathly Hallows was published. It says July 2007 at the top.


Yabriel You have a prety nice review


Barbara What a unique way of writing a review, wish I were that creative. I give it 5 stars!


Callista Very good!


message 24: by Jo (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jo ★The Book Sloth★ Wow. Great twist in the story giving the cat a voice. Loved it.


Nishi Loved the Crookshanks fanfic. And of course, this book was my favourite in the series.


message 26: by Mary (new) - rated it 5 stars

Mary K Great book must read it


Brittany Mcafee Dude, that was awesome!


Laura Lynne Faulk Giving you can do is to make a great gift for you and your family is a butt really I lightly with you mom the things we do it yet but I am so tired of being able to make sure that utilizes a great day today sigjnndhdhht of your family is the things Sunday up to make a difference between your legs and feet of the best ways in prison the things you can do to make sure that


Ella Gisclair This is (in my opinion) not the best in the series! But then again it is awesome


Phyllis Wonderful fan fiction. Have you written any more? Would like to read any you have written.


message 32: by Mariam (new) - added it

Mariam Suwwan How do you read the books here on the web I have no idea how!


message 33: by Faatimah (new)

Faatimah The best Harry potter review ever !!!!!!! You are a wonderful writer !


message 34: by Faatimah (new)

Faatimah The best Harry potter review ever !!!!!!! You are a wonderful writer !


Hannah Direnzo Loved


Hannah Direnzo The third Harry Potter book is full of action and suspense! It makes me interested in reading and want to read more. There's a lot of events that I absolutely don't expect! If you haven't started reading the Harry Potter series, then get a move on and read! You'll love it!!!


message 37: by Agnes (new) - added it

Agnes Great read. Never read a review like this one. Very original.


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