So it turns out you can have a completely naked vagina on the screen in a family movie as long as it's on your face. I guess it's a pretty straightforward equation. If one vagina is good, two is better. I came out of The Tourist with a crick in my neck. I confess, I spent the whole movie wondering what Jolie's lips would look like if viewed vertically.
Apparently it is supposed to make men think you want oral sex more than if you had normal lips that looked like a mouth. Honestly. This is a seriously two penis mouth, with room to squeeze in another one at a pinch, I imagine. Movies should be like tennis where you get penalised for distracting the opponent. The people on screen should get demerit points if you lose the plot.
There's another thing: I keep wondering what that mouth would look like if it were covered in hair the way a vagina has traditionally been present.
I know, I know, don't tell me. I'm just a girl, what would I know? Honestly. I like my vagina, but I'm happy with just the one and a mouth comes in handy too. For a start, imagine Jolie trying to suck spaghetti....