K's Reviews > The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner
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F_50x66
's review
Dec 26, 10

bookshelves: professionallit, readablenonfiction
Recommended for: Therapists interested in learning more about Bowen theory

It's a pity that I read this so many years after reading The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, because I no longer remember The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships well enough to tell you whether the two books are redundant. The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships rocked my world when I read it, in part because I was having difficulty understanding my Bowenian supervisor and The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships clarified what she was trying to teach me. At this point, though, having read a great deal more Harriet Goldhor Lerner I wasn't quite as moved by The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships. I feel a bit bad taking off stars for that reason but I justify it on two counts: 1) this is a subjective review, and reading this book was a three-star experience for me regardless of the reasons, and 2) the feminist agenda detracted for me. My feelings about feminism are a bit complicated and Harriet's feminist interjections and comparisons were off-topic and distracting for me.

Having said that, although I suspect that many of the concepts in The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships were the same recycled Bowen concepts introduced to us in The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, it certainly doesn't hurt to revisit these ideas, especially if you're interested in reinforcing your competence in Bowen theory. Harriet offers new explanations and examples which are helpful in fleshing out the relationship insights of The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships. Had I read The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships first, I might have a different reaction.
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