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The Left-Hander Syndrome: The Causes and Consequences of Left-Handedness
by Stanley Coren

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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/508537.The_Left_Hander_Syndrome_The_Causes_and_Consequences_of_Left_Handedness?utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=blog_review" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px"><img alt="The Left-Hander Syndrome: The Causes and Consequences of Left-Handedness" border="0" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/photo.goodreads.com/books/1175366014m/508537.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/508537.The_Left_Hander_Syndrome_The_Causes_and_Consequences_of_Left_Handedness?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">The Left-Hander Syndrome: The Causes and Consequences of Left-Handedness</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8425.Stanley_Coren">Stanley Coren</a> 
 <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/13568681?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review"><h3>My review</h3></a>
 rating: 4 of 5 stars This gets a slightly higher rating than it should partly because GoodReads doesn’t allow the awarding of ‘half-stars’, but also because the topic interests me, and while I haven’t gone out of my way to find similarly-themed works, the few I have acquired are totally lame; nothing but lists of famous left-handers or collections of ‘common and distinguishing traits’ that identify the left-hander (lists that are so vague they apply to anyone, even people without hands). All three of the other ‘lefty’ books I have also quote from The Left-Hander Syndrome, and it appears Dr. Coren ran into a bit of notoriety following its publication, which isn’t shocking considering some of his proposed implications for about 10-15% of the population. 
 
 With a bit of flat Canadian comedy here and there, a few startling discoveries based on research which appears to have been conducted on a shoestring budget, and a mission to save the southpaws of the world, Stanley Coren spends just under 300 pages in breaking the news that lefties are completely screwed; the world is designed for righties, they are going to leave this twisted mortal coil far earlier than the dominant righties, and life is going to be long, arduous, and completely unfair.
 
 To the lefty, this isn’t shocking. By the time your average lefty is old enough to even care to read this book, they’ve experienced the gist of it; everything in life has been slightly more difficult, ill-designed for their use, and unfair. This is just how it is; the typical lefty quickly learns two things that every righty won't grasp for the majority of their formative years: first, that life is not fair and is never going to be fair and that existence is going to be a pain in the ass, and second, we know who the other lefties are. It’s common knowledge to the silent sinster inner circle that whenever we see someone grab some form of utensil to write, to huck a rock at some kid, or to brandish some implement to crack someone over the head with during a mugging, we automatically take note of which hand they do this with. This isn’t discussed in the book, but should be; in my time, I’ve noticed that every time a lefty sees me write something, they comment on our previously unnoticed and unspoken bond. I usually try not to say anything when I notice it myself, unless it happens to be a hot chick, then I absolutely feel compelled to mention it, if only for a reason to say something to her. Basically, unless I can kiss someone’s ass with the knowledge of their handedness, it’s not worth bringing up. In the less-common event in which a righty notices the preferred hand, they immediately give the old, “Oooh, you’re a lefty”, as if that explains their view of you. A lot of times they even mention that their old Aunt Mildred was a lefty, and Aunt Mildred always did some preposterous $hit like serve her recently-deceased husband for Thanksgiving Dinner one eventful year. Stop doing this, people; we don’t give a $hit that you know some silly southpaw. Hell, let’s get to the root of it, lefties do not f@cking like your right-handed ass; you design ‘your’ world around your own comfortable use, you put buttons on the wrong side of clothes from our vantage point, the controls on everything from microwaves to shop equipment to earthmoving equipment and lunar exploration modules are predominantly right-handed, and you also piss us off with car ignitions, spiral notebooks, vending machines, desks, and a million other trivial things, all culminating in an unspoken rage towards you and your ilk. Don’t play cute with us; we seem docile and unassuming, but let me warn you, the time will come when we gather en masse and we will bite your fleshy ass.
 
 Coren begins the book by challenging the common concepts and stereotypes against left-handers, presenting irrefutable proof that in every language spoken across the planet (from English to Urdu to the recently-interpreted hissing of reptile) is inherently biased against the left. In early English, ‘lyft’ meant ‘broken or weak’, and all contemporary meanings of ‘left-handed’ in dictionaries are downright slanderous. The French heap it on with the endearing term ‘gauche’, the Russian ‘levja’ is an insult, those cuddly Krauts bestow ‘linkisch’ (awkward, maladroit), the Wops dub the affliction ‘mancino’ (maimed), and the most-cited is Latin’s ‘sinister’. The coolest is in Spanish for coming up with ‘no ser zurdo’ (to be clever), literally translated as ‘not to be left-handed’. Informing the reader of this general slant against the left, Coren delves into a bit of ingroup/outgroup psychobabble and shows that the left-hander is prejudiced against, but in very slight and subtle ways. Going back through history, however, he provides some facts about left-biased persecutions in those fond times of the Witch Trails, Inquisition, and Crusades. And why not, according to his studies, the Bible is probably the single most aggressive anti-left-handed propaganda ever put to paper.
 
 We now come to the thick of it, where Coren has to make good on his promises to ‘answer’ the following timeless questions on the sleeve of the book: “Is L-H acquired genetically or socially?”, “Why do lefties seem to die earlier?”, and “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?” Most of Coren’s research seems to stem from one of his initial findings in his research, that while L-H is reported in about 10% of the population (which I think is low) in younger age groups, the percentage takes a staggering drop over time, and his research shows that about half a percent of the population is L-H at age 80. Coren’s goal is to discover where the hell all the lefties are going. He examines if society creates right-handers, he checks to see if genetics play a role, hell, the guy even checks out the human brain. He somewhat sits on the fence as to whether there are any real benefits of L-H, like most studies, he postulates that there have been many notable lefties in various fields over time and that their handedness was a major contributor, due to the way the brain is cross-wired. That a lefty uses the right side of the brain should explain many of the perceived differences, but the data is inconclusive, with lefties doing well in both right and left-brain activity, or doing poorly in both. One of the major obstacles is that while the lefty appears in higher concentration within the intellectual elite, they also make up a large portion of those less-fortunate, who Coren refers to as ‘retarded’. Also, Coren notices that many lefties seem to have suffered from birth-stress; premature birth, ‘older’ mother, prolonged labor, breech birth, caesarian delivery, Rh incompatibility, multiple birth, and use of instruments in delivery. Going on the principle that LH may be pathological and where there is smoke there is fire, he presents his infamous ‘Signs of the Left’, in which his studies show that lefties are more prone to suffer from the following conditions: alcoholism, autism, bed-wetting, brain damage, criminality, depression, drug abuse, epilepsy, homosexuality, immune disorders, mental retardation, psychosis, schizophrenia, school failure, sleep difficulty, slow physical development, and yes, incomprehensibly large genitals (most left-hander penises resemble elephant trunks). Coren dedicates a little time to some of the more compelling of these issues and their supposed ties to L-H, and even briefly touches upon some of the things which lefties appear to do somewhat adequately, like putting together jigsaw puzzles (whoopee). After demonstrating how the world is designed for right-handed use everywhere from the kitchen and home, the workplace and even the center of the Milky Way galaxy, he is ready to sum it all up, but not before keeping good on his promise to note that a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.
 
 What I walked away with was that Coren’s research shows that both genetics and social pressure factor into the handedness of the poor, birth-stressed left-handed multitudes, and that the world we live in gradually forces lefties to become slightly more right-handed and the associated hazards of handedness make it easier for the lefty to end up in a casket. 
 
 Perhaps most interestingly, in high school, one English requirement was a class called ‘Speech’, in which you had to give about 7 speeches to the class. I ended up giving exactly three, none of which had anything to do with the subject matter and probably perplexed my classmates. In once speech I tried convincing my fellow fools that socialism trumps capitalism, in another I tried expressing how individuality is futile (and most of those kids now have ‘ink’ so they can be different, just like everyone else), and lastly, I rapped about the pageantry of left-handedness. This was no ordinary speech, this was a manifesto, about how righties were actually helping us by forcing our dual-handedness, making us the next evolutionary step, excelling in the worth dual-limb activities such as swimming and drumming, using both hemispheres of the brain, and yes, using that fantastic previously-mentioned appendage to stack the gene pool in our favor. About ten years later, I caught a ride home from a wedding with a family of friends of the groom, one of which had been in that long-forgotten Speech class. I had always known she was left-handed since high school, but during this uncomfortable ride home she brought up the speech and her disproportionately left-handed kin were all ears. While I didn’t have a lot of knowledge to bestow upon them while near-dead, I did prove one of our common faults when, about 10 minutes from home after an hour and a half drive, I had to get out and puke on the side of the road.
 
 <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/733629?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">View all my reviews.</a>

Chris's review
rating:
recommended for: the few left-handers who give a damn

This gets a slightly higher rating than it should partly because GoodReads doesn’t allow the awarding of ‘half-stars’, but also because the topic interests me, and while I haven’t gone out of my way to find similarly-themed works, the few I have acquired are totally lame; nothing but lists of famous left-handers or collections of ‘common and distinguishing traits’ that identify the left-hander (lists that are so vague they apply to anyone, even people without hands). All three of the other ‘lefty’ books I have also quote from The Left-Hander Syndrome, and it appears Dr. Coren ran into a bit of notoriety following its publication, which isn’t shocking considering some of his proposed implications for about 10-15% of the population.

With a bit of flat Canadian comedy here and there, a few startling discoveries based on research which appears to have been conducted on a shoestring budget, and a mission to save the southpaws of the world, Stanley Coren spends just u...more This gets a slightly higher rating than it should partly because GoodReads doesn’t allow the awarding of ‘half-stars’, but also because the topic interests me, and while I haven’t gone out of my way to find similarly-themed works, the few I have acquired are totally lame; nothing but lists of famous left-handers or collections of ‘common and distinguishing traits’ that identify the left-hander (lists that are so vague they apply to anyone, even people without hands). All three of the other ‘lefty’ books I have also quote from The Left-Hander Syndrome, and it appears Dr. Coren ran into a bit of notoriety following its publication, which isn’t shocking considering some of his proposed implications for about 10-15% of the population.

With a bit of flat Canadian comedy here and there, a few startling discoveries based on research which appears to have been conducted on a shoestring budget, and a mission to save the southpaws of the world, Stanley Coren spends just under 300 pages in breaking the news that lefties are completely screwed; the world is designed for righties, they are going to leave this twisted mortal coil far earlier than the dominant righties, and life is going to be long, arduous, and completely unfair.

To the lefty, this isn’t shocking. By the time your average lefty is old enough to even care to read this book, they’ve experienced the gist of it; everything in life has been slightly more difficult, ill-designed for their use, and unfair. This is just how it is; the typical lefty quickly learns two things that every righty won't grasp for the majority of their formative years: first, that life is not fair and is never going to be fair and that existence is going to be a pain in the ass, and second, we know who the other lefties are. It’s common knowledge to the silent sinster inner circle that whenever we see someone grab some form of utensil to write, to huck a rock at some kid, or to brandish some implement to crack someone over the head with during a mugging, we automatically take note of which hand they do this with. This isn’t discussed in the book, but should be; in my time, I’ve noticed that every time a lefty sees me write something, they comment on our previously unnoticed and unspoken bond. I usually try not to say anything when I notice it myself, unless it happens to be a hot chick, then I absolutely feel compelled to mention it, if only for a reason to say something to her. Basically, unless I can kiss someone’s ass with the knowledge of their handedness, it’s not worth bringing up. In the less-common event in which a righty notices the preferred hand, they immediately give the old, “Oooh, you’re a lefty”, as if that explains their view of you. A lot of times they even mention that their old Aunt Mildred was a lefty, and Aunt Mildred always did some preposterous $hit like serve her recently-deceased husband for Thanksgiving Dinner one eventful year. Stop doing this, people; we don’t give a $hit that you know some silly southpaw. Hell, let’s get to the root of it, lefties do not f@cking like your right-handed ass; you design ‘your’ world around your own comfortable use, you put buttons on the wrong side of clothes from our vantage point, the controls on everything from microwaves to shop equipment to earthmoving equipment and lunar exploration modules are predominantly right-handed, and you also piss us off with car ignitions, spiral notebooks, vending machines, desks, and a million other trivial things, all culminating in an unspoken rage towards you and your ilk. Don’t play cute with us; we seem docile and unassuming, but let me warn you, the time will come when we gather en masse and we will bite your fleshy ass.

Coren begins the book by challenging the common concepts and stereotypes against left-handers, presenting irrefutable proof that in every language spoken across the planet (from English to Urdu to the recently-interpreted hissing of reptile) is inherently biased against the left. In early English, ‘lyft’ meant ‘broken or weak’, and all contemporary meanings of ‘left-handed’ in dictionaries are downright slanderous. The French heap it on with the endearing term ‘gauche’, the Russian ‘levja’ is an insult, those cuddly Krauts bestow ‘linkisch’ (awkward, maladroit), the Wops dub the affliction ‘mancino’ (maimed), and the most-cited is Latin’s ‘sinister’. The coolest is in Spanish for coming up with ‘no ser zurdo’ (to be clever), literally translated as ‘not to be left-handed’. Informing the reader of this general slant against the left, Coren delves into a bit of ingroup/outgroup psychobabble and shows that the left-hander is prejudiced against, but in very slight and subtle ways. Going back through history, however, he provides some facts about left-biased persecutions in those fond times of the Witch Trails, Inquisition, and Crusades. And why not, according to his studies, the Bible is probably the single most aggressive anti-left-handed propaganda ever put to paper.

We now come to the thick of it, where Coren has to make good on his promises to ‘answer’ the following timeless questions on the sleeve of the book: “Is L-H acquired genetically or socially?”, “Why do lefties seem to die earlier?”, and “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?” Most of Coren’s research seems to stem from one of his initial findings in his research, that while L-H is reported in about 10% of the population (which I think is low) in younger age groups, the percentage takes a staggering drop over time, and his research shows that about half a percent of the population is L-H at age 80. Coren’s goal is to discover where the hell all the lefties are going. He examines if society creates right-handers, he checks to see if genetics play a role, hell, the guy even checks out the human brain. He somewhat sits on the fence as to whether there are any real benefits of L-H, like most studies, he postulates that there have been many notable lefties in various fields over time and that their handedness was a major contributor, due to the way the brain is cross-wired. That a lefty uses the right side of the brain should explain many of the perceived differences, but the data is inconclusive, with lefties doing well in both right and left-brain activity, or doing poorly in both. One of the major obstacles is that while the lefty appears in higher concentration within the intellectual elite, they also make up a large portion of those less-fortunate, who Coren refers to as ‘retarded’. Also, Coren notices that many lefties seem to have suffered from birth-stress; premature birth, ‘older’ mother, prolonged labor, breech birth, caesarian delivery, Rh incompatibility, multiple birth, and use of instruments in delivery. Going on the principle that LH may be pathological and where there is smoke there is fire, he presents his infamous ‘Signs of the Left’, in which his studies show that lefties are more prone to suffer from the following conditions: alcoholism, autism, bed-wetting, brain damage, criminality, depression, drug abuse, epilepsy, homosexuality, immune disorders, mental retardation, psychosis, schizophrenia, school failure, sleep difficulty, slow physical development, and yes, incomprehensibly large genitals (most left-hander penises resemble elephant trunks). Coren dedicates a little time to some of the more compelling of these issues and their supposed ties to L-H, and even briefly touches upon some of the things which lefties appear to do somewhat adequately, like putting together jigsaw puzzles (whoopee). After demonstrating how the world is designed for right-handed use everywhere from the kitchen and home, the workplace and even the center of the Milky Way galaxy, he is ready to sum it all up, but not before keeping good on his promise to note that a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.

What I walked away with was that Coren’s research shows that both genetics and social pressure factor into the handedness of the poor, birth-stressed left-handed multitudes, and that the world we live in gradually forces lefties to become slightly more right-handed and the associated hazards of handedness make it easier for the lefty to end up in a casket.

Perhaps most interestingly, in high school, one English requirement was a class called ‘Speech’, in which you had to give about 7 speeches to the class. I ended up giving exactly three, none of which had anything to do with the subject matter and probably perplexed my classmates. In once speech I tried convincing my fellow fools that socialism trumps capitalism, in another I tried expressing how individuality is futile (and most of those kids now have ‘ink’ so they can be different, just like everyone else), and lastly, I rapped about the pageantry of left-handedness. This was no ordinary speech, this was a manifesto, about how righties were actually helping us by forcing our dual-handedness, making us the next evolutionary step, excelling in the worth dual-limb activities such as swimming and drumming, using both hemispheres of the brain, and yes, using that fantastic previously-mentioned appendage to stack the gene pool in our favor. About ten years later, I caught a ride home from a wedding with a family of friends of the groom, one of which had been in that long-forgotten Speech class. I had always known she was left-handed since high school, but during this uncomfortable ride home she brought up the speech and her disproportionately left-handed kin were all ears. While I didn’t have a lot of knowledge to bestow upon them while near-dead, I did prove one of our common faults when, about 10 minutes from home after an hour and a half drive, I had to get out and puke on the side of the road.
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message 1: by Kate

05/08/2008 09:24PM

"Hell, let’s get to the root of it, lefties do not f---ing like your right-handed ass; you design ‘your’ world around your own comfortable use, you put buttons on the wrong side of clothes from our vantage point, the controls on everything from microwaves to shop equipment to earthmoving equipment and lunar exploration modules are predominantly right-handed, and you also piss us off with car ignitions, spiral notebooks, vending machines, desks, and a million other trivial things, all culminating in an unspoken rage towards you and your ilk."

Aaah, it's so true. Just watching me try to swipe my credit card in the grocery store checkout is often an exercise in hilarity (I'm thinking of you, wall-mounted machine in the self-check line). I think it does teach us at an early age that much of the world is designed around the comforts of people who are Not You, and you've just got to suck it up and deal as silently as you can.